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I can't believe I'm admitting this :(

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My confession is when my baby was born I never had that overwhelming love for him. I had an emergency c/s I was so drowsy on drugs. The first time I saw him I just said "oh" I just saw another baby, he didn't feel like mine. I felt even worse when i saw SO crying. he was so in love and i wanted so bad to feel that.I never had ppd though I had the baby blues for about 3 days until he actually slept 6 hours straight. He's 6 months now and I have grown to love him very much. He makes me happy. I still don't feel like I have that connection other moms have with their kids though. I think once he's more independent I might. I just feel like such a failure of a mother. I would do anything for my son but I'm still quite selfish and I hate it. I just want that overwhelming love everyone seems to have.
That's my confession :/
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 13, 2012 at 3:17 PM
Replies (81-82):
by Anonymous 20 on Oct. 13, 2012 at 11:04 PM
My oldest is 7, I love her but I don't have that connection. My middle son I also love and adore but still have a slight detachment too. My youngest is my heart. I know how horrible that sounds and I hate it. I don't know why my bond is like that. Probably because my youngest has a lot of medical issues and his life literally depends on me, not just your normal care. Don't feel bad mama. You're not alone.
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Oct. 14, 2012 at 12:02 AM
I cosleep so letting him cry isn't much of an option. I do hold him in my arms and let him cry though. If I didn't he would crawl around and wake himself up. SO finally took him. They watched a show on SOs computer then he went right to sleep little bugger.

Quoting momjuly09:

in that type of situation ... it's normal for ur emotions to run high ... if u know he's had plenty to eat and a dry diaper ... it's ok to let him cry ... it really is ...

also .. it's better that u do talk about it ... ur not alone ... promise ... keep ur head up ... and love the little moments u have with him bc u won't get them back, as far as wishing u could of handled it differently ... ur ok .. also, don't be afraid to talk to ur doctor about it ... it would be worth taking something, even if it's just a mild dose, to help u create memories ...

Quoting Anonymous:

Last night for example I was exhausted and baby would not stop crying no matter what. I raised my voice a few times telling him it was time for bed. I have more but I just felt so bad for doing that when he couldn't understand.

Quoting daughteroftruth:

Why do you feel your selfish?

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