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Controlling?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Presuming he can, does your husband want to talk to you constantly while he's at work? Does he get upset if he calls and you don't answer or the line is busy? Would he flip out if he couldn't get ahold of you within 20 mins?
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 13, 2012 at 4:28 PM
Replies (61-64):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 13, 2012 at 5:36 PM
Why doesn't he want him in daycare? Is this a real concern or a way to control you?

Quoting Anonymous:

Our son. He doesn't want him in daycare. I suggested working overnight or in the evenings but he doesn't want to get up with ds in the middle of the night.



Quoting Anonymous:

Why?





Quoting Anonymous:

Kind of. He's been hurt in the past so I understood his fear at first. It got annoying but I'd tell him to snap out of it and he did. I'd say the past 6 months have been the worse. Since I stopped working. I want to go back but he doesn't want me to.







Quoting Anonymous:

has he always been like this? or is this something new?





Quoting Anonymous:

2.5 years.









Quoting Anonymous:

ya my husband never calls me just for the hell of it or to check up on me. he is always too busy working. on his lunch break and other breaks he is too busy eating and relaxing and to talking to the guys to bother to call me. I wouldn't mind if he chose to call me instead to just say hey and that. but if he was calling and texting constantly to check up on me that would really bug me.  but my husband is not like that at all. doesn't like talking on the phone. he has a cell phone and doesn't even use it or bring it with him. how long have you two been together?






Quoting Anonymous:

I can understand that. He is just checking up on me though.











Quoting Anonymous:

my husband never contacts me when he is working unless he has just a quick question to ask or his car breaks down and he needs me to pick him up or something. we just talk to each other at home. but he does get upset and annoyed when he does call and can't get ahold of me cuz if he does call, its usually something important. so he gets annoyed if he has to call over and over. but that is very rare. I always keep my phone on me and I always answer. its only happened a few times I didn't answer and that was cuz I was taking a shower or accidentally had the ringer off.



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 13, 2012 at 5:43 PM
I don't know. He just always says because he needs you right now.

Quoting Anonymous:

Why doesn't he want him in daycare? Is this a real concern or a way to control you?



Quoting Anonymous:

Our son. He doesn't want him in daycare. I suggested working overnight or in the evenings but he doesn't want to get up with ds in the middle of the night.





Quoting Anonymous:

Why?







Quoting Anonymous:

Kind of. He's been hurt in the past so I understood his fear at first. It got annoying but I'd tell him to snap out of it and he did. I'd say the past 6 months have been the worse. Since I stopped working. I want to go back but he doesn't want me to.









Quoting Anonymous:

has he always been like this? or is this something new?






Quoting Anonymous:

2.5 years.











Quoting Anonymous:

ya my husband never calls me just for the hell of it or to check up on me. he is always too busy working. on his lunch break and other breaks he is too busy eating and relaxing and to talking to the guys to bother to call me. I wouldn't mind if he chose to call me instead to just say hey and that. but if he was calling and texting constantly to check up on me that would really bug me.  but my husband is not like that at all. doesn't like talking on the phone. he has a cell phone and doesn't even use it or bring it with him. how long have you two been together?







Quoting Anonymous:

I can understand that. He is just checking up on me though.













Quoting Anonymous:

my husband never contacts me when he is working unless he has just a quick question to ask or his car breaks down and he needs me to pick him up or something. we just talk to each other at home. but he does get upset and annoyed when he does call and can't get ahold of me cuz if he does call, its usually something important. so he gets annoyed if he has to call over and over. but that is very rare. I always keep my phone on me and I always answer. its only happened a few times I didn't answer and that was cuz I was taking a shower or accidentally had the ringer off.



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 13, 2012 at 5:58 PM
This is so frustrating. He was mad so I wrote him saying this
"I don't know what to say. I told you the truth and you don't believe me. I'm sorry you're upset but I did nothing wrong and I'm not going to constantly defend myself when there is no reason to."
He replied "ok" an hour later.
I asked if he was still upset and he replied "naaaa, I'm sorry"

Quoting Anonymous:

 


Quoting Anonymous:

Sometimes I try to reassure him and make him feel better but sometimes it's too much and I get pissed off. I don't know how to address it. We talked about it countless times. He apologizes, admits he was wrong, and then it happens again.


Quoting Anonymous:


 



Quoting Anonymous:

That's how he's getting. I went to Walmart to get my sons formula and didn't take the phone. I was with my dd and we took to long. He didn't believe me. It feels like its getting worse. I'm walking on eggshells.



Quoting Anonymous:



Yes, my ex was like that.  Notice I said "EX".  I was with him/married for about 12 years and with time it just got worse.  It got to the point where I couldn't go grocery shopping without calls or texts.  Then he'd get mad because I took so long, but I'm like wth stop texting me then!  It makes it take longer!  I also couldn't go out without him like a girls night out or anything.  Even now that we're divorced he questions me like it's somehow still hiw biz.  It sucks. No adult should be treated like a 5 yr old from their own spouse. 



 Yep, and it's very hard to stand up to someone like that.  I was always being accused of things.  When I'd finally had enough and wanted a divorce it got very ugly and he got aggressive.  Had to involve police and almost had to get restraining orders.  Be careful and address it before it gets worse.


 That's exactly how my ex was.  Just remember that when it gets extreme it becomes a form of abuse.  When I eventually told my ex that what he was doing to me was emotional abuse, he argued saying how no way, he always says he loves me and blah blah blah.  I said yeah, even men who beat the crap out of their wives say I love you.  They apologize, say they'll try harder, etc. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 13, 2012 at 6:01 PM

My dh  used to be like that. I turned into a massive bitch and turned the blame around on him too then. He didn't like being in the boat I was once in and changed it around. Sucks that I had to do it, but it worked. Good luck. 

Quoting Anonymous:

We talk through Facebook most of the day but he gets upset if I don't answer right away. Earlier my dad picked up my dd and I was outside talking to him. Dh happened to call but since I was outside I didn't hear the phone. 13 mins went by between him calling the first time and getting ahold of me. He flipped out and now thinks I'm up to something. :(

Quoting Mrs.Kubalabuku:

No.  If he sees me online he might shoot a message if he's bored.  But, for the most part, he knows I have to get my things done so he understands if I don't talk back right away.  Sometimes, rarely on REALLY bad days he'll call.  I always answer when he calls b/c it is so rare.  lol.

No, he wouldn't freak out, unless we had arranged to talk about something at that time.


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