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Single mothers **Edited**

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
If you are a single mother, how did you come to be a single mother? Did your child's father leave? Did you leave your child's father? Did the father pass away? Did you get pregnant during a one night stand? Did you get pregnant via in vetro fertilization while you were single? In vetro while in a homosexual relationship and you and your s/o split up? Were you raped? Did you adopt? Was it a completely different circumstance?

Please only respond sincerely and do not bash. I am simply curious and I will not condone bashing. And obviously, only respond if you are comfortable doing so.


**Edit**
I just want to say that I am so happy that so many of you have been able to overcome your hardships. It's makes me very sad to see how many women are or have struggled in the past. I am blown away by the love and courage that you are showing your children. I respect you all more than I can begin to express in a mommy forum. I will try to keep up with the replies, but as I am getting a large number of responses so quickly, I apologize if I don't get back to you in a timely manner.
Thank you all for being such an inspiration of love and hope to our younger generations.
<3

**Edited again**

First I want to say, thank you all for the overwhelming response to this post.. Thank you for sharing your stories and inspiring so many..
As I stated previously in the response section, my overall goals in this post were to 1) shed some light on the plights and struggles of so many mothers, 2) hopefully show people that no matter what situation they find themselves in there is always hope, sometimes it's just very hard to see, 3) to hopefully show people that people really do care--even an anon that you may not know personally--there is always someone out there pulling for you and hoping that you can overcome whatever tragedy you may find yourself in and go on to find what makes YOU happy, 4) to possibly help someone in need who is struggling right now and needs some inspiring stories to help them find their own courage, 5) and lastly to ask women who have gone through and survived divorce, domestic violence, rape, etc. what resources were useful and what were lacking.

I know that I won't possibly be able to respond to everyone, but I would really appreciate any advice or direction on how other citizens could help build and better the resources currently available.

Thank you again for sharing your stories.. I have a very deep respect for single mothers, the courage and detetmination that so many of you have truly is an inspiration. You are an inspiration to us all and I sincerely hope you all go on to find peace and happiness in your lives.

Thanks again! <3
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 13, 2012 at 5:20 PM
Replies (691-700):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 15, 2012 at 7:20 PM
Quoting pmccauley:

My son's father decided to wait until our son was born to tell me that he was married with 3 kids... Despite it all I tried to keep him in contact with my son so my son could know his father. He didn't want anything to do with him and volunteered to sign over his parental rights. We've since moved on and now I'm married with a step daughter and another daughter with my husband. My son calls dh daddy and we are saving up to do the adoption. It sucked for a while but things happen for a reason.



Oh momma, I'm so happy you've been able to move on and find happiness. It's also really great to know that you've been able to find a loving dh who deserves to be in your life and is happily willing to take your son as his own. It sounds like you have a wonderful accepting family. :)
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 15, 2012 at 7:22 PM
Quoting Danielle17T:




You have a great attitude momma! I'm so glad you've found your happiness. Congratulations!! :)
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 15, 2012 at 7:28 PM
Quoting Anonymous:

my  sons dad slipped me drugs and raped me.  He went crazy on me when the bills were do.  I finally kicked him out and found that sometimes when you make the right decisions, the only person you have to support you is yourself.  I will not raise my son in a house where  women are abused.




Oh my, I am so very sorry that you were raped.. :(
I am very happy for you though, that you were able to kick him out and take control of yours and your son's lives. Congrats to you momma! You are doing a wonderful job!!
Danielle17T
by Bronze Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 7:38 PM
I totally agree my sons dad &his family wanted us to get married because I was pregnant (I'm sure they didn't know he rapped me when I was unconscious) &I said we can try to b friends& c how that goes but that wasn't good enough if we weren't together he didn't wanna help with or c our son I just don't understand how it could b good for a child to have parents in an unhappy relationship?? Definitely keep trying to do boy things with him maybe put him in sports or ask a guy friend to hang out with him sometimes I was so worried when I found out I was having a boy because I'm pretty girly but I have 4 brothers so that definitely helped! Good luck!


Quoting goofygalno1:

My ex left because he wanted to be free to do his own thing.  He cheated on me and I stayed for my son.  We had split up briefly and got back together for another 4 yrs before he finally left in 2009.  It has been really hard raising my son alone because trying to teach him boy things isn't easy.  Especially, since his dad didn't teach him anything except to play video games.  But I will say that we are both better off.  I was unhappy in my marriage and looking back at it all I know we were both miserable.  I guess I was more pissed that he left first and I didn't. 


He has been the poster boy for deadbeat dads and the only thing I wish I would've done is not say yes at my wedding.  I was pregnant with our son at the time and feel we would've been better off from the get go if I was single from the start. 


I have a great support system in my family and they were there for me through it all.  I didn't have the greatest attorney so I got screwed, but to all of the moms out there that might go through with it... do your homework.  Make sure to ask tons of questions and don't be afraid.  Don't ever feel like your man makes you who you are.  For a good while I thought I was gonna die because I felt like how can I raise a small child alone.  Well I basically was raising him alone.  My ex was never really present even when he was home.  I guess I was more concerned financially since he brought in more than I did.


He didn't really spend quality time with our son.  Shoot he wouldn't even teach him how to ride his bike or throw a ball.  And now my son is so far behind with not having a good male role model.  I try to do things with him and it's just not the same.... but I do try!!


But lesson learned and if I can tell any girl out there that is pregnant and feels like she has to get married for the baby.  Listen carefully....DO NOT GET MARRIED JUST FOR THE KIDS!!  You will only wind up hurting yourself and most of all your children.  I would rather be alone than be with a man who isn't present in the marriage.


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Ethansmama731
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 9:00 PM
1 mom liked this

By choice. I wanted to be a mother, no husband in sight, so I adopted my son. Best decision ever!

Danielle17T
by Bronze Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 9:17 PM
Thanks ;)


Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting Danielle17T:






You have a great attitude momma! I'm so glad you've found your happiness. Congratulations!! :)

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
whisperwhisper
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 10:06 PM
1 mom liked this

Adoption.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 15, 2012 at 10:09 PM
Quoting Ethansmama731:

By choice. I wanted to be a mother, no husband in sight, so I adopted my son. Best decision ever!




Congratulations momma!!! :)
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 15, 2012 at 10:09 PM
Quoting whisperwhisper:

Adoption.




Congratulations momma!!! :)
hottmomma264
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 10:16 PM
I had a one night stand and became pregnant, so we started a relationship just so we could try to have a better life for our baby. Everything was going great, we were so in love, or so i thought. Then he up and left me when I was 6 months pregnant and I haven't seen him since. DS is now 15 months old.
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