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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Single mothers **Edited**

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
If you are a single mother, how did you come to be a single mother? Did your child's father leave? Did you leave your child's father? Did the father pass away? Did you get pregnant during a one night stand? Did you get pregnant via in vetro fertilization while you were single? In vetro while in a homosexual relationship and you and your s/o split up? Were you raped? Did you adopt? Was it a completely different circumstance?

Please only respond sincerely and do not bash. I am simply curious and I will not condone bashing. And obviously, only respond if you are comfortable doing so.


**Edit**
I just want to say that I am so happy that so many of you have been able to overcome your hardships. It's makes me very sad to see how many women are or have struggled in the past. I am blown away by the love and courage that you are showing your children. I respect you all more than I can begin to express in a mommy forum. I will try to keep up with the replies, but as I am getting a large number of responses so quickly, I apologize if I don't get back to you in a timely manner.
Thank you all for being such an inspiration of love and hope to our younger generations.
<3

**Edited again**

First I want to say, thank you all for the overwhelming response to this post.. Thank you for sharing your stories and inspiring so many..
As I stated previously in the response section, my overall goals in this post were to 1) shed some light on the plights and struggles of so many mothers, 2) hopefully show people that no matter what situation they find themselves in there is always hope, sometimes it's just very hard to see, 3) to hopefully show people that people really do care--even an anon that you may not know personally--there is always someone out there pulling for you and hoping that you can overcome whatever tragedy you may find yourself in and go on to find what makes YOU happy, 4) to possibly help someone in need who is struggling right now and needs some inspiring stories to help them find their own courage, 5) and lastly to ask women who have gone through and survived divorce, domestic violence, rape, etc. what resources were useful and what were lacking.

I know that I won't possibly be able to respond to everyone, but I would really appreciate any advice or direction on how other citizens could help build and better the resources currently available.

Thank you again for sharing your stories.. I have a very deep respect for single mothers, the courage and detetmination that so many of you have truly is an inspiration. You are an inspiration to us all and I sincerely hope you all go on to find peace and happiness in your lives.

Thanks again! <3
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 13, 2012 at 5:20 PM
Replies (701-710):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 16, 2012 at 12:40 AM
I'm not a single mother yet, but I am working on finding the strength to leave. I'm terrified, though. And these ladies in this thread are inspiring.
GCmom210
by on Oct. 16, 2012 at 1:04 AM

I became a single mom after thinking the man who I thought was Mr. Right at one time, could be Mr. Right again. I was wrong. After telling him I was pregnant, Ireceived the most hateful response, by email of all things. He immediately changed all his contact info. I'm in the process of finding him. It kills me to no end on some days because I would love for my little guy to have a dad. Things happen for a reason, I know...

BeanieBlue
by Member on Oct. 16, 2012 at 1:36 AM

He cared more about the drugs he was putting into his veins than he did about me and his 2 baby sons.

He knew I wouldn't tolerate it if I knew he was 'shooting up' so when it got to the point that he couldn't hide it anymore, he bailed. Left me 2,000 miles away from ALL of my family. I was 20 years old and the boys were 21 months and 3 months old.  I had to call my family and beg them to fly us back home because I was left with nothing.

The boys are now 26 and almost 25 years old. They haven't seen their sorry excuse for a father since he walked out on us, nor has he ever paid a single cent of child support! Every time Domestic Relations would track him down, they'd notify him by mail and he'd run again!! JERK!!!  The boys want nothing to do with him...except maybe to give him a fat lip!! lol

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 16, 2012 at 1:47 AM
Quoting Anonymous:

What about single dads? My dh's ex kicked him out when his dd was only 3 months for no reason. She started doing drugs and refused to let him be part of dd's life except to demand child support to support her drug habit. She wasn't even with dd, she let her mom keep her. After 6 years of going back in forth to court he finally got full custody. Now dd is a very hard kid to raise, with lots of issues as one would expect from that situation but now dh's and I are together and married and have kids too and she is getting to a better place. But I'll never understand how someone can choose drugs over their child... The ex is still a single mom of more kids with different dads in jail and she keeps choosing to live that way, I know single moms are amazingly awesome I watched my sis do it, but not all are...



To be honest, I have just as much respect for single dads. It's hard for anyone to raise a child(ren) by him/herself. I know that not every single parent is perfect and sometimes unfortunately they're not even that great of a person. My theory is that everyone makes mistakes and everyone sins differently. It makes me very sad when I see or hear of any parent treating their child badly whether they're single or in a relationship. My hope is that they will all eventually get back on the right path for them to be able to give their children the childhood they deserve and raise them to be respectful, respectable, productive adults. And if they can't--well, I pray that a loving person like you or dh is there to step up for the children in their time of need.

I know that this does not happen as often as we would like, but it's worth hoping for--IMO there is always hope for people, especially children.

Congrats to your sister she sounds awesome! And congrats to you too my dear, it sounds as if you and your dh are both wonderful people doing the best you can and showing your children how to love. Many blessings momma. I hope your life continues to get better every day. :)
Higgymom0803
by on Oct. 16, 2012 at 1:49 AM
It's not like she could ask "How did you become a single dad? " on a site for mom's.


Quoting Anonymous:

What about single dads? My dh's ex kicked him out when his dd was only 3 months for no reason. She started doing drugs and refused to let him be part of dd's life except to demand child support to support her drug habit. She wasn't even with dd, she let her mom keep her. After 6 years of going back in forth to court he finally got full custody. Now dd is a very hard kid to raise, with lots of issues as one would expect from that situation but now dh's and I are together and married and have kids too and she is getting to a better place. But I'll never understand how someone can choose drugs over their child... The ex is still a single mom of more kids with different dads in jail and she keeps choosing to live that way, I know single moms are amazingly awesome I watched my sis do it, but not all are...

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crissysworld
by Member on Oct. 16, 2012 at 2:17 AM
1 mom liked this

You know I have respect for single moms and dads. Some single moms are not that great and some single dads are not. When I met my husband his ex  was in party mode and thats what she wanted to do all the time. My husband wasn't the perfect single dad but he loved his son and did what he could for him and he is an amazing father today. It makes me love him even more.

Donna1
by Member on Oct. 16, 2012 at 4:14 AM

While I am not a single mom - in the true sense of the word - I am currently a single mom due to circumstances beyone my control. My husband and I are separated because he has ben unable to find a job where we are residing here in AZ and ended up moving to TX, found a job and has been there for four months now. It's not easy, going from someone having your back 24/7 365 days a year, to not having him around at all to help you cook, clean, and discipline the child the two of you had together.

My husband and I have been married for 11 years, together for 12 and we have a 9 (ok 10-year-old, in November) whom we both adore and would never be the same if we didn't have her with us. Up until a couple of years ago, I was the main breadwinner, paying the bills, keeping a roof over our heads and in insurance for our little family of 3 (5 if you count the cat and dog!) Anyway, a couple of years ago I became severly ill and was recently placed on disability - I am no longer able to provide for my family and he has had to step up to the plate, take on the responsiblity of earning the income, making ends meet, etc., etc.

Since he was unable to procure a job here in AZ, he decided to go back to school, regain his CDL and become a truck driver, only to discover the jobs he was training for were in TX. He moved, got a job and has been working there for four month now. Life for my 9-year-old and I has not been fun, productive or easy, at all. I tried home-schooling her, which failed miserably, and am now putting her back into public school - which I think will be good for the two ouf us.

It has gotten old, really fast, having her constantly underfoot. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter to pieces, but it is time for us to 'go our separate ways' and she needs to get an education that I clearly cannot provide for her, for many reasons which I don't have time to go into. Suffice it to say, it is time she is in a real public school. I know she'll do fine, she's very smart and will catch up and most likely surpass her peers in short order.

Like I said, I am not a real single mom, but the last four months hasn't been easy, and I honestly cannot imagine doing this for the next 8 years. My hat is off to those women who do this day in and day out. My heart is with these women who have either chosen to do this on purpose, with the best of intentions or those who were forced into it through no fault of their own. Kudos to those who have chosen this path and may God richly bless your lives now and in the future.










Donna

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 16, 2012 at 4:18 AM
1 mom liked this
My marriage is arranged and just for convenience ... Still married but only see DH once every 3 months or so for 1-2 days. the rest of time i am alone with my 3 kids. I am not single mom legally but in reality I am single doing everything my self.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 16, 2012 at 4:21 AM
I'm not a single mom now, but I went through it. There's just simply too much to type from my iPad. My ex wasn't evil or abusive. He just wasn't husband or father material. We didn't fit or have anything in common.
lovemyson549
by on Oct. 16, 2012 at 5:52 AM

the guy loved me alot and after he got my naked body, he changed his path.

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