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A friend's SO did this and she is ok with it, would you be ok with it?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I have a friend who I have know for 2 years, one day she and her SO showed up at my kid's school for a play. I knew she had step children who went to the school, what I didn't know is that the step children's mother is NOT her DH's ex, she is legally, still his wife I figured that out when the wife introduced herself as "his wife". Later that night my friend called and explained everything to me. She (the wife) is Catholic and refuses to get divorced, even when her DH asked her for one. They struck a deal that he wouldn't have to pay child support or alimony for any of their 3 kids, which would be a substantial amount if they didn't get divorced. They both go to the same church and at church, his wife is his wife, my friend and her kids can't even go to church with him. At his family gatherings, his family and the wife's  family treat them like they are still married (yes, everyone knows about my friend and the 2 kids he has with her), my friend doesn't even go to them. I can't imagine living like this, they can't ever get legally married, in most peoples eyes, she is the other woman. I asked her why she would go along with this and she said it's because she "loves him". Would you go along with this?

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:12 AM
Replies (261-270):
by Silver Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 11:32 PM

No way!

by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 11:32 PM

 Oh lawd no. Give the woman the money and go on with your life already. THere is a reason he is hanging on.

by Platinum Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 11:53 PM

No, I wouldn't. He could get a divorce. Choosing not to pay alimony and child support over me? He's telling his current SO that she is not worth it to pay that and/or that ex-wife's apperances at church are more important than having her and their kids together be a true part of the family. Do all of their kids go to the same school?

by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 11:54 PM
Fuck no.
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by Stefanie on Oct. 14, 2012 at 11:57 PM


by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 11:58 PM
No. For several reasons. 1 he's married. 2 he's living a lie. 3 he's lying in his religion. 4 he's a horrible example to all those children. 5 she has no support and no family she can turn to from his side. Need I go on? Nope. Wouldn't happen.
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by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 12:04 AM
I feel sorry for her. How miserable.
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by Anonymous 37 on Oct. 15, 2012 at 12:06 AM

that cannot be good for their kids. divorce is hard and confusing enough, learning howa step parent fits into your life (as a child) is confusing... having mom and dad pretending to be together but not be, has got to be beyond confusing for the children. 

they are going to have some serious relationship issues when they get older. 

by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 12:10 AM
I couldn't, but if it works for them, who am I to judge. I am very religious( Catholic) and I don't see this as Gods way, but again, I am not in their head..
by Gold Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 12:11 AM


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