Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

A friend's SO did this and she is ok with it, would you be ok with it?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I have a friend who I have know for 2 years, one day she and her SO showed up at my kid's school for a play. I knew she had step children who went to the school, what I didn't know is that the step children's mother is NOT her DH's ex, she is legally, still his wife I figured that out when the wife introduced herself as "his wife". Later that night my friend called and explained everything to me. She (the wife) is Catholic and refuses to get divorced, even when her DH asked her for one. They struck a deal that he wouldn't have to pay child support or alimony for any of their 3 kids, which would be a substantial amount if they didn't get divorced. They both go to the same church and at church, his wife is his wife, my friend and her kids can't even go to church with him. At his family gatherings, his family and the wife's  family treat them like they are still married (yes, everyone knows about my friend and the 2 kids he has with her), my friend doesn't even go to them. I can't imagine living like this, they can't ever get legally married, in most peoples eyes, she is the other woman. I asked her why she would go along with this and she said it's because she "loves him". Would you go along with this?

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:12 AM
Replies (301-310):
by Gold Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 7:42 AM
I would be okay with some of it. To divorce someone who would contest it can take 7 years + of separation.. so I wouldn't mind if he was still technically married if the wife wouldn't agree to a divorce.
The not going to family gatherings? Hell no. That wouldn't fly with me.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Gold Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 7:43 AM
Not necessarily.... It can take many years to divorce someone, if they won't sign the papers.

Quoting Elle.tea.22:

If he really wanted a divorce he would already have one.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 7:43 AM


by Ruby Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 7:44 AM

I could deal with the legal marriage portion but I couldn't deal with the family gatherings and church thing.

As for being a friend, I would probably voice how messed up the situation was but other then that if she is happy then I am fine.

by Anonymous 42 on Oct. 15, 2012 at 7:46 AM
They sound like wackos.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Emerald Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 8:10 AM


by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 9:06 AM
Quoting JocelynsMama1:

I would be fine with the settlement and not getting a divorce if she didnt want to for religious purchases but I wouldnt be ok with the acting like they were married and attending church together and family functions and all that

I totally agree with you IMHO I see the wife refusing the divorce as the other woman. She has no business at this family get togethers . The gf he has moved on with does it must be so confusing to all 5 of these kids.
by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 9:08 AM

 LMAO Not a chance I would go along with this. 

by on Oct. 15, 2012 at 9:13 AM
I'm gonna go with HELL NO!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Bronze Member on Oct. 15, 2012 at 9:18 AM

 Nope I don't share (time or anything else).

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)