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A friend's SO did this and she is ok with it, would you be ok with it?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I have a friend who I have know for 2 years, one day she and her SO showed up at my kid's school for a play. I knew she had step children who went to the school, what I didn't know is that the step children's mother is NOT her DH's ex, she is legally, still his wife I figured that out when the wife introduced herself as "his wife". Later that night my friend called and explained everything to me. She (the wife) is Catholic and refuses to get divorced, even when her DH asked her for one. They struck a deal that he wouldn't have to pay child support or alimony for any of their 3 kids, which would be a substantial amount if they didn't get divorced. They both go to the same church and at church, his wife is his wife, my friend and her kids can't even go to church with him. At his family gatherings, his family and the wife's  family treat them like they are still married (yes, everyone knows about my friend and the 2 kids he has with her), my friend doesn't even go to them. I can't imagine living like this, they can't ever get legally married, in most peoples eyes, she is the other woman. I asked her why she would go along with this and she said it's because she "loves him". Would you go along with this?

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:12 AM
Replies (31-40):
JLah
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:44 AM

I could not do that.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:45 AM
1 mom liked this
Nope. That's insane. Catholic or not, religion seems to make people do silly things.
Tea4Tas
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:46 AM


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting JenB1983:

Hell no. Both the husband and wife are ridiculous for keeping that charade up.

WTH happened to "thou shall not lie"

Technically, they are not lying, they are still legally married. The only real sin is that the DH is, in the eyes of God, having an affair and has had 2 children with another woman. I think that is what the wife wanted, she didn't want to do something she felt was wrong.

The wife isn't doing anything wrong-the husband is committing the mortal sin of Adultry and as such should not be taking communion, as he has no intention of stopping. Your friend is also committing Adultry as she knows he is married.  Lying is a venial sin-Adultry is one of the biggies, and in the eyes of the Catholic Church it is as serious a sin as killing someone-as it breaks one of the 10 commandments.

blondie805
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:46 AM

maybe so. But, I think she's using her religion to hold on to a marriage and not look so humiliated. I am not sure. I can only say that I have heard of people doing this kind of thing for years and it still baffles me. I am not putting dh/so down for anything except for really not putting his foot down.

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting blondie805:

I always laugh when religion is used for this type of behavior!! So, getting a divorce is a sin but, adultery is the lesser sin? This is the craziest but, sadly not so uncommon situation that I have ever heard of. I think that they and the rest of those who choose to live like this need to get their heads checked.

I think thats why the wife wanted it, since she isn't committing adultery, she isn't sinning


cammy002
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:46 AM

hell no

but to each their own


CafeMom Tickersand still no baby

Tea4Tas
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:47 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

Nope. That's insane. Catholic or not, religion seems to make people do silly things.

Don't blame the religion. IF she told a priest what was really going on, he would suggest a divorce and an annullment.  The Catholic church would not condone her husband living with another woman and committing Adultry-nor would they condone him not supporting ALL of his kids.

MrsRobinson06
by Silver Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:49 AM
Lol @ the religious aspect of it. Like God doesn't know what they're doing.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
HIJKLM
by Ruby Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:49 AM
No. I understand the whole not divorced thing (my ex fought every step of the way) but the rest is unacceptable, especially since they have kids together.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:50 AM
Only the husband is sinning, assuming his wife is being abstinent..


Quoting blondie805:

I always laugh when religion is used for this type of behavior!! So, getting a divorce is a sin but, adultery is the lesser sin? This is the craziest but, sadly not so uncommon situation that I have ever heard of. I think that they and the rest of those who choose to live like this need to get their heads checked.


blessed107
by Platinum Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:51 AM

No

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