Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

A friend's SO did this and she is ok with it, would you be ok with it?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I have a friend who I have know for 2 years, one day she and her SO showed up at my kid's school for a play. I knew she had step children who went to the school, what I didn't know is that the step children's mother is NOT her DH's ex, she is legally, still his wife I figured that out when the wife introduced herself as "his wife". Later that night my friend called and explained everything to me. She (the wife) is Catholic and refuses to get divorced, even when her DH asked her for one. They struck a deal that he wouldn't have to pay child support or alimony for any of their 3 kids, which would be a substantial amount if they didn't get divorced. They both go to the same church and at church, his wife is his wife, my friend and her kids can't even go to church with him. At his family gatherings, his family and the wife's  family treat them like they are still married (yes, everyone knows about my friend and the 2 kids he has with her), my friend doesn't even go to them. I can't imagine living like this, they can't ever get legally married, in most peoples eyes, she is the other woman. I asked her why she would go along with this and she said it's because she "loves him". Would you go along with this?

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:12 AM
Replies (41-50):
by Silver Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:51 AM
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:53 AM

No I would never date a man who is still married with no intention of divorcing.

by Anonymous 5 on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:54 AM
She can go to the chruch and tell themm whats going on! And thats whaat i would do and then leave his ass!
by *Angelicious* on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:55 AM
Nope. This is exactly why (if I ever became single) I would not mess with someone who is still legally married or have kids.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Ruby Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:56 AM

 NO!!!!!  I would not go along with this.  If I were him, I would get a divorce that involved putting the notice in the paper, and that would be the end of that shit.  wow

by Ruby Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:57 AM

Oh...HELL no.  

by Race Mom on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:57 AM
Hell no
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Anonymous 6 on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:00 AM
She doesn't have to agree in order for him to divorce her. Sure her agreeing would be easier but tons of people get divorces even when the other spouse doesn't want it. Contested/non-contested divorce.
I wouldn't be in that relationship. What are you teaching the children? And they must feel as though the other children are more important. If it were just me and no kids I MIGHT go along with it, though I doubt it, but id never. Allow my kids to be treated as if they didn't exist.
Your friend sounds as though she has low self esteem.
by Kelly on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:00 AM
Would I be the "other woman"? F**k no. I certainly would not want my children involved in that mess either.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:00 AM
I'm Catholic so I know divorce is a big issue but in gods eyes you are married to the person you love and are in a cometted relationship with. Not the person the government says still owns half your stuff.

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting JenB1983:

Hell no. Both the husband and wife are ridiculous for keeping that charade up.

WTH happened to "thou shall not lie"

Technically, they are not lying, they are still legally married. The only real sin is that the DH is, in the eyes of God, having an affair and has had 2 children with another woman. I think that is what the wife wanted, she didn't want to do something she felt was wrong.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)