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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I was a bully. ***update***

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I'm not hiding who I am. I'm not ashamed of my actions because I was a child. I was a foster child, I lived in 11 homes from 4-9, then returned to my mother which was not a good family home. I was lonely, unloved and very angry. I was always bought things, had the newest best toys as soon as they came out. But I was missing a family.

When I was 7, visting my mother, a bunch of older boys stole my bike. Knocked me off of it and took it. I went home crying. My mother locked me out of the house and told me I could not come back in until I had my bike. I had to do what I had to do, and I got my bike back. She encouraged the violence, and that along with the other feelings I had led to me being a bully.

I preyed on the weak and the ones that didnt fit in. I preyed on girly girls. Cheerleaders, girls that were too loose in my opinion. If they were labeled a slut, I was bullying them to make them feel worse about themselves. I never missed a beat, if someone messed up, I was there to call attention to it.

When I had my children, I knew what to teach them. Self respect, self esteem and morals. I knew to give them self worth so they knew they were not any less then another person. I was involved with them, I knew what was going on at all times. They are adults and yes, of course they were picked on in schools, everyone is. But they knew how to handle it. How to not let it get to them. An they had a strong family to come home to. And I taught them that violence is not an option. I formed relationships with the parents of their friends. All important aspects to stop bullying.

***I am surprised at the amount of people that are saying I'm proud and not remorseful. Where is anyone reading this?! I'm simply saying how it was and why. I'm saying I turned myself around and did not allow my children to be bullies or victims. I'm sorry some of you were picked on, and that it left a lasting impression. Are all adults responsible for the mistakes they made as a child?
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:14 AM
Replies (11-20):
Lunarprancer
by Betsy on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:35 AM
Quoting PerfectVirgo:


People will call you a liar.

With light and love

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:35 AM
So you're not remorseful? Even a little bit?

Quoting catchup29:

Quoting Anonymous:

You sound proud. Are you remorseful?





Not proud, I just understand my actions. We can't change the past. We can only try to improve the future. Which I did with my children.
catchup29
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:35 AM
1 mom liked this
Quoting PerfectVirgo:

Some are bullies. Some are bullied. All grow up. We live and learn, and I appreciate that you don't repeat the cycle. I was bullied. My kids are starting to be bullied due to their race. I'm moving.



My youngest daughter was starting to be picked on because he was biracial. All he had to do is stand up to them a few times and they got the message. I never picked on anyone more then once if they stood up to me.
PerfectVirgo
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:36 AM
Lol. They did. The office did, anyway.

Quoting Lunarprancer:

Quoting PerfectVirgo:


People will call you a liar.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
catchup29
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:36 AM
Quoting Lunarprancer:

How old are you? How old are your children?



I'm 41, my children are 19 and 22. My oldest actually, the only time she got into a fight was when she was sticking up for a boy who was being buried. I was proud of her.
catchup29
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:39 AM
Quoting Tooth_Inspector:

I can't believe how proud you sound. I was bullied heavily in high school because I was quiet and a nerd. I hated every day of school and graduation was a bittersweet escape. And now here you are spouting off your indifference to making other peoples lives hell. It's sick.



Not proud. As I just replied to another poster. I just know the reasons. Everyone has to get over their past. I'm sorry you were bullied. The person doing the young is usually more weak, but no one sees that. Because the victims never stand up.
PerfectVirgo
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:39 AM
I suppose that could work. If I didn't have to live here maybe I would. But I'm not about to antagonize them and have them attack me. I live alone. If I do laundry, I'm down there alone. And they are your stereotypical bullies. Mean, nasty, not afraid of confrontation, waiting for me to make a move so they can escalate the violence. Plus, it's been easily handled on my end.
I don't care. :) I do laundry at moms.


Quoting catchup29:

Quoting PerfectVirgo:

Some are bullies. Some are bullied. All grow up. We live and learn, and I appreciate that you don't repeat the cycle. I was bullied. My kids are starting to be bullied due to their race. I'm moving.





My youngest daughter was starting to be picked on because he was biracial. All he had to do is stand up to them a few times and they got the message. I never picked on anyone more then once if they stood up to me.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Lunarprancer
by Betsy on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:39 AM
Quoting catchup29:


I'm 42 with a daughter about to turn five. Any advice?

With light and love

Rain2Rinse
by Gold Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:39 AM
3 moms liked this
"I was a child" is a lousy excuse, and is not a reason that one should give for not being ashamed. If my 5 year old does something that is inherently wrong, like emotionally or physically attacking another person so that they feel less than, her age is no excuse. She knows it is wrong, and so did you.

You said that you're 41, but 10 years ago you were that same person (bully)? What changes for you? How did you teach your children not to embrace those qualities, if you were that person?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Bigmamma69325
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:39 AM
So it took you having your own children to stop your bullying ways? Considering you just stopped 10 years ago.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
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