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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I was a bully. ***update***

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I'm not hiding who I am. I'm not ashamed of my actions because I was a child. I was a foster child, I lived in 11 homes from 4-9, then returned to my mother which was not a good family home. I was lonely, unloved and very angry. I was always bought things, had the newest best toys as soon as they came out. But I was missing a family.

When I was 7, visting my mother, a bunch of older boys stole my bike. Knocked me off of it and took it. I went home crying. My mother locked me out of the house and told me I could not come back in until I had my bike. I had to do what I had to do, and I got my bike back. She encouraged the violence, and that along with the other feelings I had led to me being a bully.

I preyed on the weak and the ones that didnt fit in. I preyed on girly girls. Cheerleaders, girls that were too loose in my opinion. If they were labeled a slut, I was bullying them to make them feel worse about themselves. I never missed a beat, if someone messed up, I was there to call attention to it.

When I had my children, I knew what to teach them. Self respect, self esteem and morals. I knew to give them self worth so they knew they were not any less then another person. I was involved with them, I knew what was going on at all times. They are adults and yes, of course they were picked on in schools, everyone is. But they knew how to handle it. How to not let it get to them. An they had a strong family to come home to. And I taught them that violence is not an option. I formed relationships with the parents of their friends. All important aspects to stop bullying.

***I am surprised at the amount of people that are saying I'm proud and not remorseful. Where is anyone reading this?! I'm simply saying how it was and why. I'm saying I turned myself around and did not allow my children to be bullies or victims. I'm sorry some of you were picked on, and that it left a lasting impression. Are all adults responsible for the mistakes they made as a child?
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:14 AM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:42 AM
I was not heavily picked on but I did get picked on for having big breast in school sometimes...it sucked plus I was the quiet one I did have a few friends and I was very grateful for them.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:43 AM
I hated you and still do I will never forgive your action

Go to hell
catchup29
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:45 AM
Quoting Lunarprancer:




Teach your child to walk head held high. Tell them everyday that they are special and that unique does not mean odd ball. You have to be involved in your child's life 100%. Know their friends and learn to recognize the behaviors of a victim. Make them a leader not a follower. But show them fair and moral ways to live. Because they can't think they are better then someone else. My girls were taught on a daily basis, it never ended. My youngest is a very involved activist for gay rights. My oldest is the kindess most accepting person of others I've ever known. I've never heard her judge anyone. But they are strong!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:46 AM

Ok.....but you are not ashamed of you're actions? That's fucked up. Even if you were a child you should still feel shame and remorse for the damage you caused.

catchup29
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:46 AM
Quoting Anonymous:

I hated you and still do I will never forgive your action

Go to hell



It may feel better for you to be able to say that to your actual bully. Have you sought them out? It's hard to carry the victim feeling around for so long.
Sheryllinn
by Bronze Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:48 AM
Very good of you to recognize all that you've done wrong. I don't expect any emotional sobbing about how you behaved as a child. What good would that do? You've shown plenty of remorse by changing. And I was bullied by my husband for years before he got medicated and changed his ways and I finally stood up for. Myself. I would never hold such a grudge against anyone over their past. Grown ups know better, and the ones mad at you for sounding nonchalant sadly are probably dealing with their own issues and feelingS. Keep your head up momma! Your doing great.
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catchup29
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:52 AM
Quoting Rain2Rinse:

"I was a child" is a lousy excuse, and is not a reason that one should give for not being ashamed. If my 5 year old does something that is inherently wrong, like emotionally or physically attacking another person so that they feel less than, her age is no excuse. She knows it is wrong, and so did you.

You said that you're 41, but 10 years ago you were that same person (bully)? What changes for you? How did you teach your children not to embrace those qualities, if you were that person?



At first I was just teaching my children how not to be picked on. How to respect themselves. Self preservation. But I slowly realized I needed to show them how to accept others and not judge. So I was not practicing what I was preaching. 10 years ago I started a job at a local outreach nonprofit for disabled adults. It changed my heart. Cut and dry. So I began to practice what I preached. My children notice the difference. They commented on how now I'm not faking it.
catchup29
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:54 AM
Quoting Sheryllinn:

Very good of you to recognize all that you've done wrong. I don't expect any emotional sobbing about how you behaved as a child. What good would that do? You've shown plenty of remorse by changing. And I was bullied by my husband for years before he got medicated and changed his ways and I finally stood up for. Myself. I would never hold such a grudge against anyone over their past. Grown ups know better, and the ones mad at you for sounding nonchalant sadly are probably dealing with their own issues and feelingS. Keep your head up momma! Your doing great.



Thank you! And congrats on changing your life. You should be very proud of yourself. It's not easy I'm sure.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:58 AM

Yep.  I was bullied in junior high really really bad...so badly that I switched schools.  I wish I could look up that bitch that bullied me years ago and kick her ass!  She's probably living a miserable life though...bullies usually know that they are pieces of shit so they try to bring other people down with them.

Quoting Tooth_Inspector:

I can't believe how proud you sound. I was bullied heavily in high school because I was quiet and a nerd. I hated every day of school and graduation was a bittersweet escape. And now here you are spouting off your indifference to making other peoples lives hell. It's sick.


Sheryllinn
by Bronze Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:01 AM
Lol it was very hard. It's in my nature to be very agreeable and meek. And it took me well into my grown up years to realize I needed to set a better example for my children. And it's also hard to keep the new bitch in check. It's a daily work in progress but, I've learned alot. I do my best as you do, to teach my kids self confidence with acceptance and kindness.

Quoting catchup29:

Quoting Sheryllinn:

Very good of you to recognize all that you've done wrong. I don't expect any emotional sobbing about how you behaved as a child. What good would that do? You've shown plenty of remorse by changing. And I was bullied by my husband for years before he got medicated and changed his ways and I finally stood up for. Myself. I would never hold such a grudge against anyone over their past. Grown ups know better, and the ones mad at you for sounding nonchalant sadly are probably dealing with their own issues and feelingS. Keep your head up momma! Your doing great.





Thank you! And congrats on changing your life. You should be very proud of yourself. It's not easy I'm sure.
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