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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I was a bully. ***update***

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I'm not hiding who I am. I'm not ashamed of my actions because I was a child. I was a foster child, I lived in 11 homes from 4-9, then returned to my mother which was not a good family home. I was lonely, unloved and very angry. I was always bought things, had the newest best toys as soon as they came out. But I was missing a family.

When I was 7, visting my mother, a bunch of older boys stole my bike. Knocked me off of it and took it. I went home crying. My mother locked me out of the house and told me I could not come back in until I had my bike. I had to do what I had to do, and I got my bike back. She encouraged the violence, and that along with the other feelings I had led to me being a bully.

I preyed on the weak and the ones that didnt fit in. I preyed on girly girls. Cheerleaders, girls that were too loose in my opinion. If they were labeled a slut, I was bullying them to make them feel worse about themselves. I never missed a beat, if someone messed up, I was there to call attention to it.

When I had my children, I knew what to teach them. Self respect, self esteem and morals. I knew to give them self worth so they knew they were not any less then another person. I was involved with them, I knew what was going on at all times. They are adults and yes, of course they were picked on in schools, everyone is. But they knew how to handle it. How to not let it get to them. An they had a strong family to come home to. And I taught them that violence is not an option. I formed relationships with the parents of their friends. All important aspects to stop bullying.

***I am surprised at the amount of people that are saying I'm proud and not remorseful. Where is anyone reading this?! I'm simply saying how it was and why. I'm saying I turned myself around and did not allow my children to be bullies or victims. I'm sorry some of you were picked on, and that it left a lasting impression. Are all adults responsible for the mistakes they made as a child?
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 8:14 AM
Replies (31-40):
catchup29
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:01 AM
Quoting Anonymous:




They are children. They aren't necessarily pieces of shit. But they know they have problems. Their family life usually isn't good. And their parents are usualy pieces of shit. Sometimes we grow up. And sometimes we don't. Have you tried finding your bully? It may indeed do you some good.
catchup29
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:03 AM
1 mom liked this
Quoting Sheryllinn:




I am sure your children wi be amazing adults when they grow up. Life is all about balance.
MumaSue
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:13 AM
2 moms liked this

Just because a child has problems doesn't give them a right to hurt others. Bullying is disgraceful, I'm glad you have changed. Do you think you have hurt peoples lives?? Do you believe that others are now not living to their full potential because of what you did?? IF so how does that make you feel?

RunningMommaof2
by Kelly on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:15 AM
I understand that we do what we need to do to survive as children. I was mean to some people when I was younger, and some people have been mean to me. But, am I ashamed of my actions toward the people I hurt? Maybe not so much ashamed anymore because i have come to accept my past, but I do have sympathy for them and I know
that I was wrong. It's good that you can teach your children better values though. Life is a learning experience.
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catchup29
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 9:21 AM
Quoting MumaSue:

Just because a child has problems doesn't give them a right to hurt others. Bullying is disgraceful, I'm glad you have changed. Do you think you have hurt peoples lives?? Do you believe that others are now not living to their full potential because of what you did?? IF so how does that make you feel?




It doesn't give them a right, but as a child we don't know any better. And sometimes it becomes normal as an adult because we aren told its wrong. I know that I did hurt one girl, mentally pretty badly. She slept around a lot. I called attention to it and made her feel worse then she probably already did. I arranged for 10 guys to ask her out to the prom at the same time. And they made it very clear that it was only to get set from her. I felt bad for that because she ended up not going to the prom. But we are friends now and she said that I helped show her she needed to change her ways.

3 years ago, I took her and her husband to my daughters prom. LoL
k_hall1784
by Silver Member on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:13 AM

You don't sound very remorseful IMO. I was bullied. Horribly. No amount of my parents teaching me that I am beautiful and I am  a great girl could compare to the relentless teasing and bashing and hitting that I endured at school. And my parents did all of the above. I don't blame you per say, becuase you were a child,  but I do wish you had a little bit more of "I'm sorry" in your post. As I even read some of your replies, you don't sound as if you feel bad. But whatever. I have three children, and they are 100% allowed to knock the head off of a bully, if need be,  AND come and get their dad and I so we can approach the appropriate adult. 

IntactivistMama
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:18 AM
1 mom liked this

I am glad you owned your mistakes and have taken steps to make amends (by teaching your own child to behave differently.)

I wouldn't spend a lot of time beating yourself up for your actions when you were a kid and this is coming from someone who was viciously bullied for years! Just let it go. Life's too short for regret...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:29 AM
How sick that you aren't ashamed and try to justify your actions. I don't care what your home life was it is not an excuse to be vicious. The whole I was a child do it was OK to do this shit is pathetic.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:30 AM
Quoting catchup29:


as a child you should know better, I don't buy your sob story.
blues_pagan
by on Oct. 14, 2012 at 10:41 AM

 I think that you hit on a good topic here.  Many times the parents are teaching their kids to be the bullies. 

I know that I am just as guilty as everyone else here (or just about everyone else) when it comes to slamming/bashing people here on CM.  Our actions here go to show just how fucked people can be.  But I am trying to become more mindful of how I treat people.  This is mainly because I was bullied in school and went on to let the anger and frustration out in being the bully later on in life.  It needs to change, and I am trying to start with myself.  Be a role model for your kids, show them how to treat people and telling them to go beat some kids ass or shame them is not a good start.

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