My kids father is not in their lives and hasnt been in years. im getting married in November and my fiance and I have been living together for about 8 months now. At what point, if at all, would you allow the new husband to help with disciplining the kids? I dont mean spanking, we dont spank. I think he feels weird disciplining them since they are not his kids and im not sure how to go about it. I have three kids and some days its just total chaos and I NEED help with them. He doesn't have any children of his own, so this is also a very new thing to him that he's never done before.