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Daughter had friend stay over last night. This can't be normal?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

This is sort of long, but I need some opinions...

Alright, my daughter has a friend in school. They're in 1st grade. This girl doesn't talk at all. I knew about the girl two years ago when the teacher had written me a note about how 'this little girl who doesn't speak' has started hanging out with my daughter. She was basically relaying a message from her mother who wanted to set up a play date to try to get her daughter to be more comfortable around people. Okay, so that was two years ago. Since then, they've become good friends and I hear about her all the time, but she had never been over to play ... until last night.

I didn't realize how awkward the situation was going to be, but let me tell you, it was ODD. It started with simple comments like "What did you girls do in school today?" to "Hey, I like your sweater!" to "What do you want for dinner?" She would not respond to ANYTHING. I mean, wouldn't even look me in the eye. Now, she talks to my daughter -- a lot. They play great together. I finally got to the point of just using my daughter to ask her questions and then she would give me her answer. It was very awkward. I'm generally pretty good around kids and kids tend to like me, but this little gal threw me for a loop.

It gets worse. I'm making pizza last night in the kitchen and all of a sudden this girl gets up and comes and smacks me in the butt and starts punching me. At that point, I'm thinking "omg" but I figure 'okay, anything is better than nothing', so I start acting silly as well and start rough housing with the girls. Let me tell you, this little 7 year old is built like a football player and she's ridiculously strong for her age. She literally tackled me to the ground and almost broke my glasses. She is beyond aggressive. I also caught her punching my daughter in the head. The girl almost acts possessed. It is so weird. Beyond that, she's like ridiculously smart and she does listen when I tell her to do something (ex: go get your pajamas on and brush your teeth). She does have two brothers and I know the one is pretty wild. So, should I just overlook all of this and just assume it's a result of being in a house with rambunctious boys or is this NOT normal at all?

Oh .. and she was trying to french kiss my daughter as well. Her mom called last night too and asked how she was doing because this is the first time she had ever been to a friend's house. I told her she hadn't talked to me but they were playing good together and having fun. Her mom laughed and told me, "oh, she probably won't -- that's just her, but as long as she's isn't biting, punching, or beating you up then all is good." I don't know if I should have said something or not. I didn't because I didn't want to make her feel bad, but this tells me this is apparently normal behavior at home. OMG. Is my child just an unusually good child or is this other girl NOT normal? I was pretty much in shock after her stay.

I want to add a little bit about her family too, seems how abuse assumptions are coming up. I've associatied with her family a bit just because they go to the same school and they're often at functions and what not. Her mother is a well-educated woman. She's actually a physical therapist. Her father is a big-wig at a large corporation. When I first met this family, I was almost intimidated. They have a beautiful home, good jobs, the picture-perfect family. Almost too perfect. I've seen them at the beach before and have seen how they interact with their kids. Nothing ever seemed too strange to me; although, one comment her mother said has stuck in my mind and it really disturbed me. Her daughter was standing by her side at the beach one afternoon and she was saying how she wished her son had her daughter's build and vice versa (her son is skinny; her daughter is more stocky but by no means fat -- she's actually a beautiful little girl). I wish I could have stood up and been a little stronger that day and said something to her mother after that comment because I felt it was SO wrong to say that ESPECIALLY in front of your own child. Now I don't know if this was just a rare comment or if this is something fairly common in that household, but if that poor girls ends up with some eating disorder some day -- I think I will know how it began. Now, her mother is a beautiful woman. Many would envy her good looks and she 'appears' to be a very nice woman ... but like I said, almost too perfect. Something seemed odd to me when I first met them a couple years ago and last night just made me even more worried. Just a weird feeling. I don't even know what to do?

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 27, 2012 at 10:11 PM
Replies (101-107):
BluePandaDreams
by on Oct. 28, 2012 at 11:17 PM
Same here. I never had a problem with sending a banned child packing back home if they showed up to visit.

Quoting dmb.wells:

Sorry, I never let crazy kids play with my kids.  When they were young, if I detected something wrong with a playmate, like the way you just described that little girl - she wouldn't be allowed to come over my house again.  Keep crazy folks (and their kids) out of your home.  

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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 29, 2012 at 3:38 AM

I'm glad every parent doesn't think like you do. If every one just threw these sorts of kids to the side, what would happen next? Depression? Suicide?

I'm not giving up on any child. Strange, or not.

Quoting BluePandaDreams:

Don't know. But I will say this. This would be the first and last time the kid spent the night at my house and no my little one wouldn't be going to her house. I don't allow my kid to hang out with strange kids.


dmb.wells
by Member on Oct. 29, 2012 at 5:17 AM
1 mom liked this

You don't have to give up on them, I'm just saying that I would not allow them around MY child.  I would still offer assistance to the parents, help them with finding resources, do some searching for them, etc.  But I would not expose my child to another child to be possibly hurt!  MY kids come first.  Just like I wouldn't allow an adult with issues to come stay in my home with my children.  Doesn't mean I won't help them get help somewhere else, but no, you won't be hanging around MY house.  The OP said this child is hitting on not only her child but also on her.  Why would you not protect your own child?

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm glad every parent doesn't think like you do. If every one just threw these sorts of kids to the side, what would happen next? Depression? Suicide?

I'm not giving up on any child. Strange, or not.

Quoting BluePandaDreams:

Don't know. But I will say this. This would be the first and last time the kid spent the night at my house and no my little one wouldn't be going to her house. I don't allow my kid to hang out with strange kids.



krayzbabylove
by on Oct. 29, 2012 at 5:24 AM
This is exactly what I was thinking.

Quoting Apollos82:

It sounds like the child is autistic and under-treated, to be honest.



ETA: NOT normal behavior.



What did you do about the kissing??
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Sweet_Faith
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Just because someone claims to be a Christian doesn't mean they are. Many who claim to be a Christians are hypocrites lacking compassion for others.
Yesterday at 6:28 PM
by Ruby Member on Oct. 29, 2012 at 5:27 AM

This is not normal behavior and I hope she gets the help she needs, but I wouldn't want her around my child if she's behaving like this.

Bethsunshine
by Emerald Member on Oct. 29, 2012 at 5:31 AM
Bump for later
BluePandaDreams
by on Oct. 29, 2012 at 6:56 AM
1 mom liked this
I guess you are okay with your kids being friends with every other kid on the planet. I'm not. There are kids, for whatever reason, I have felt were bad influences for my child. And guess what, the kids I banned from my house are now halfway productive adults, when they're not in jail.
Quoting Anonymous:

I'm glad every parent doesn't think like you do. If every one just threw these sorts of kids to the side, what would happen next? Depression? Suicide?

I'm not giving up on any child. Strange, or not.




Quoting BluePandaDreams:

Don't know. But I will say this. This would be the first and last time the kid spent the night at my house and no my little one wouldn't be going to her house. I don't allow my kid to hang out with strange kids.


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