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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

teens sharing a room

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: Should we just go ahead and allow them to share a room? or is that just a little to "liberal"?

Options:

yes...at this point why not?

no, let them sneak around like we had to

NO WAY!! explain why?


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 62

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My 16 year old dd asked/informed me that her boyfriend was going to spend thanksgiving vacation with us at the lake house. Fine, no problem. My dh and I are discussing what the rules we should lay out...here is the "issue": 

We know that they are sexually active already (they have been together almost 2 years) and we are ok with that,

We know that one or the other will likely "sneak" into the other one's room (I remember being 16...that is almost exactly how I got pregnant with her)

We have always had a very open relationship with our kids, but this is making us really think about exactly how open do we want it to be.

ETA. any thoughts, ideas, experiences? this is new territory for us...

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 4, 2012 at 11:31 PM
Replies (31-40):
wulfeyes05
by Ruby Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 11:50 AM

You need to set both of them down and talk to them about it. Your daughter shouldn't be informing you of anything, she should be asking and if my kids were older and they wanted their girlfriend to stay over I'd say no. You can see her when we get back, deal with it. It's your daughter though.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 5, 2012 at 11:50 AM
2 moms liked this
What's the point of setting down rules? They are already having sex. SMH
SevenKisses
by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 11:51 AM

That is so nice of you, to allow your 16 year old daughter to have sex.

So are you a grandmother yet? Or soon?
Are you stupid? 

lilmama2be
by Bronze Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 11:52 AM
It is one thing to be aware that they are sexually active, and to allow him to spend time with your family at Thanksgiving. It is another to basically encourage them to have sex under your roof. I would have them sleep in seperate rooms., and tell them you expect this to be followed or both risk losing your trust. I don't understand why you are simply expecting them to sneak around if you say no.....shouldn't you be able to trust your kids a bit more?
EAzizM
by Erica on Nov. 5, 2012 at 11:52 AM
1 mom liked this
He wouldn't even be going with us to our FAMILY vacation. He can stay his ass at home.
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mommy_me
by ~The Three B's~ on Nov. 5, 2012 at 11:53 AM

 This whole thing blows my mind. No he wouldnt be going on vacation with us no he wouldnt be allowed to sleep in her room.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 5, 2012 at 11:53 AM
4 moms liked this

I set higher standards for my kids.  It is sad that you don't.

Permissive parenting is for the weak.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 5, 2012 at 11:54 AM

OH my Lord, NO WAY.    Parenting is NOT a popularity contest.  Period.  Are YOU prepared to RAISE her and her bastard and deal with the courtroom dramas over child support?

GET REAL birth control FAILS all the time.  Don't be ridiculous- tell them- NOT UNDER MY ROOF... are you kidding me, girl?

You should never encourage such irresponsible behaviour.  NEVER

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 5, 2012 at 11:54 AM
If she is on bc, and has condoms then I would. You already know they are sexually active and that they will sneak around so why put the restriction for them to break.

I would put down boundaries like I don't want to hear it, protection is a must and things like that.

At 17 I was living with my ex and his parents. We practiced safe sex. Hell, his mom took me to my first gyn appt and got me bc.

Imo you can't stop them from having sex. But you can be proactive with information about std's, bc and pregnancy.
macbudsmom
by Ruby Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 11:56 AM

First of all your child shouldn't be "informing" you of anything.  Secondly, if I believed my daughter would be violating the rules, she certainly wouldn't be given any privileges such as bringing a friend along for Thanksgiving.

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