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teens sharing a room

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: Should we just go ahead and allow them to share a room? or is that just a little to "liberal"?

Options:

yes...at this point why not?

no, let them sneak around like we had to

NO WAY!! explain why?


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Total Votes: 62

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My 16 year old dd asked/informed me that her boyfriend was going to spend thanksgiving vacation with us at the lake house. Fine, no problem. My dh and I are discussing what the rules we should lay out...here is the "issue": 

We know that they are sexually active already (they have been together almost 2 years) and we are ok with that,

We know that one or the other will likely "sneak" into the other one's room (I remember being 16...that is almost exactly how I got pregnant with her)

We have always had a very open relationship with our kids, but this is making us really think about exactly how open do we want it to be.

ETA. any thoughts, ideas, experiences? this is new territory for us...

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 4, 2012 at 11:31 PM
Replies (11-20):
disneymom2two
by Gold Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 7:37 AM
1 mom liked this

Explain why?!?  How about you don't want to become a grandmother yet?  Personally, while I know my child may have sex at 16, I don't think I'd be "okay" with it and I certainly wouldn't encourage it which is what you're doing if you allow them to sleep in the same room.  Know they're going to sneak into each other's room?  If I didn't think I could trust my kids, I 'd tell my 16 year old no, he wasn't staying with us.  If I didn't feel I could say no (no idea why the hell I wouldn't be able to though), I'd make the sleeping arrangements nonconducive to it even if it meant I was sharing my daughter's room.  Does the boy's parents know you are thinking about allowing them to sleep together?  Have to say I wouldn't allow my son to stay at someone's house who was encouraging them to have sex.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 5, 2012 at 7:37 AM
Buy them condoms.
notjstasocermom
by Ruby Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 7:38 AM
3 moms liked this

sorry you lost me at the first sentence. my child will not inform me of what they plan to do.  have fun when she gets knocked up.

Chellie13
by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 7:41 AM

Do the other teen's parents have ANY say in this ?  Did you ask the parents what THEY would want for THEIR child? 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 5, 2012 at 7:42 AM
Well, personally as a parent to a teen girl I would say no to him coming in the first place. However if you plan to do it I'd do seperate rooms and I'd share a room with my dd and my dh would share a room with her boyfriend. It's one Thing to know they are sexually active. It's another to provide the bed
vwd_johnson
by Platinum Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 7:44 AM
1 mom liked this
I would let them share the room. They're going to sneak in anyway, and they're GOING to have sex anyway.. you're facing reality because you know the truth.

You can either split them up and they'll have sex possibly without condoms, or you can do as you said and put condoms in the night stand and let them share a room.

Goodluck. I agree with your methods. I know when my kids turn teens they will have sex. No I'm not going to be excited about it and throw them a sex toy party, but I'm going to be realistic and open and make sure they take proper measures. Better them having sex in the house than sneaking a walk on the beach and getting caught ..right?
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ChrissyL90
by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 7:47 AM

 I was 16 when I spent the nights with my now dh.  I was on bc and we always used condoms.  We're married now and I'm 22 and still haven't gotten pregnant.  Your dd has been with him for 2 years so it must be a serious relationship and having them at your house, you know where they are.  But I think it all boils down to your comfort level and if you have any younger kids at home that may be offended.  You know your dd and her bf best, trust your gut!

Chrissy, just a wife and just a mom!

anyotherday
by Platinum Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 7:54 AM


Quoting Chellie13:

Do the other teen's parents have ANY say in this ?  Did you ask the parents what THEY would want for THEIR child? 

This too. I would be soooooome pissed if I found out that not only were my child's so's parents okay with them having sex, they were also ENCOURAGING it! 

But then again, Holidays are for FAMILY, and I would want my child at home with me. 

disneymom2two
by Gold Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 7:59 AM


Quoting vwd_johnson:

I would let them share the room. They're going to sneak in anyway, and they're GOING to have sex anyway.. you're facing reality because you know the truth.


Do you feel the same way about drinking?  Teens are going to get drunk anyway so supply them with the liquor and let them drink in your home?  Does the other child's parents get any say?  My kid wouldn't be allowed to spend Thanksgiving vacation away from us in the first place but say for some unknown reason I did allow it, I'd be having a long talk about what the rules would be with the other parent.  If the parent told me they'd be sleeping together, I'd say thanks for the invite but no thanks.  If the parent said they wouldn't be and I found out later they lied, it'd be the last time my child was allowed at their home.

LanaTsunami
by Silver Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 8:02 AM
If he cannot respect the fact that you want no grandbabies and want your dd and him to sleep in separate rooms then he should be there to begin with. IT'S ALL ABOUT RESPECT!
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