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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

teens sharing a room

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: Should we just go ahead and allow them to share a room? or is that just a little to "liberal"?

Options:

yes...at this point why not?

no, let them sneak around like we had to

NO WAY!! explain why?


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 62

View Results

My 16 year old dd asked/informed me that her boyfriend was going to spend thanksgiving vacation with us at the lake house. Fine, no problem. My dh and I are discussing what the rules we should lay out...here is the "issue": 

We know that they are sexually active already (they have been together almost 2 years) and we are ok with that,

We know that one or the other will likely "sneak" into the other one's room (I remember being 16...that is almost exactly how I got pregnant with her)

We have always had a very open relationship with our kids, but this is making us really think about exactly how open do we want it to be.

ETA. any thoughts, ideas, experiences? this is new territory for us...

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 4, 2012 at 11:31 PM
Replies (41-50):
JLS2388
by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 11:56 AM
1 mom liked this

No way, and if you can't trust them to stay in their own beds then he shouldn't be coming.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 5, 2012 at 11:57 AM
4 moms liked this
I couldn't get past you being "informed" that her bf was coming. You really shit the bed raising this kid. Doesn't even matter where he sleeps, you lost control of your kid.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 5, 2012 at 11:58 AM

Depends on what other family members are present.  I have conservative family members so I'd make them sneak just so I wouldn't get ragged on by family. 

macbudsmom
by Ruby Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 11:58 AM

"You already know they are sexually active and that they will sneak around so why put the restriction for them to break."

lol what is it with you "moms" who think if I child is going to break a rule, you simply shouldn't have that rule!?!  That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever!!!

Emilytrademark
by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 11:58 AM

 If they are already sexually active, I don't see any point in segregating them. I always had to just sneak around :P Same outcome.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 5, 2012 at 12:00 PM

That is creepy, you are a little too ok with this. If you aren't worried about pregnancy, what about your DD. What happens when they break up and she has the reputation for being easy? By making it easier for her, you are telling her she is not worth waiting for.

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting ChaoticSoul:

Me and dh shared a room. I was 14 an he was 16. I got preggo at 15. Sooo, i personally would say no. I mean why "encourage" it ya know?

I know what you mean...however...they are already sexually active...she is on the pill and dh and I would make sure that there were condoms in the night table.

I don't know if "allowing" it is safer thatn forbidding it...by  'allowing" we can be more certain that protection is used (and my daughter is SUPER careful about unplanned pregnancy...btdt)


bgbootyho
by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 12:03 PM
Ack! No boyfriends til my dd is moved out. Good luck!
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MajorsMom8215
by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 12:04 PM

 Depends on how you feel about them having sex in your house. Either don't let him come, or sit them both down for a talk about what the rules will be.

Personally, if I felt my child and his girlfriend were responsible enough to use protection, and be respectful enough not to be blatantly obvious with it, I'd probably be okay with it.

TattooedMomto4
by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 12:04 PM

 If you already know that they are sexually active then what is the issue? You KNOW and approve of them having sex so why act like you don't by separating them??????

And, btw, I do NOT condone teen sex AT ALL and yes, I have raised teenagers. My sons are in their 20's now, they ALL waited until after high school to have sex & they did NOT have gfs staying the night, going on family trips with us, etc... We had rules, we knew where our sons were at ALL times, we took them everywere they needed to be and picked them up until they started driving as high school Juniors and by the time they started driving they were too busy with school, sports and work to have that much free time. When they did go out on dates they were group dates to movies, skating, out to eat, etc. and they were surrounded with friends. They weren't focused on having sex, they knew that as long as they were in high school they weren't ready for the responsibilities that went WITH having sex such as an unplanned pregnancy before they have their education (which for them is college) done and a good career.

weirdkids
by Gold Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 12:05 PM

i voted yes. i mean its no secret that they are active. whether you let them sleep in the same room or not, if they are going to have sex they are going to find a way to do it reguardless. id hand em a box of condoms at bed time and remind them i dont want grandbabies anytime soon. better yet, in the weeks leading up to it, i would borrow a friends babies for a weekend and leave the 2 of them in charge of the house, a baby and a toddler and take off for the weekend(somewhere close and staying in constant contact obviously) let them get a taste of how hard it is if they screw up. thats what i did with my sister and i will be doing with my teen in the spring.

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