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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I don't understand why they're letting her bleed to death... *ETA*

My aunt has had an almost continuous AF for three years (she'll bleed for about three weeks, then stop for about a week, then it starts over)- it wasn't as bad the first year but started getting worse last year.
Her doc said the only way to fix it is to remove her ovaries.
The hospital cost is $29,000, which doesn't include the doctor fees, and numerous hospital fees (tools, anesthesia, etc.).
She is now anemic, has very low iron, and faints more often.
She has no medical insurance and can't afford any. Her and my uncle filed for bankruptcy last year and are still trying to build their lives back up while also trying to get two kids through college.
The hospital told her she would have to make a downpayment before they'd do the surgery, but my aunt can't even afford that upfront cost.
They told her to get on Medicaid and let the government pay for it, but my uncle makes "too much money" for her to use that option.
Isn't there another option that doesn't require my aunt to slowly bleed to death?
I don't understand the ideology behind not helping those who need important medical services.

*ETA* Thank you ladies for all of your ideas. I have passed all of them on to my aunt. I will continue to pester her with these ideas until she realizes that she has to put her health first.
  I know that some of you think she is "martyring" herself and many of you think she is doing it to herself, but she is one of the kindest people I know, and no matter how many times her kids screw up or her husband thinks of himself before her, she continues to love them and keep their interests ahead of her own. That's probably causing all of her problems, but she doesn't know any other way to be.

by on Nov. 7, 2012 at 6:43 PM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 7, 2012 at 7:15 PM


Quoting jean_marie1987:

True, but she doesn't want her husband to have to deal with the talks at work- again putting her family before herself.


Quoting Anonymous:

 


Quoting jean_marie1987:

They could "separate" as long as she files for child support, but that would be lying.



Quoting Anonymous:

Is divorce an option? On paper only.



Lying is better than dying.



I don't see how him having to put up with a bit of talk is worse on him than her dying.  Not to mntion how would the guys at ork even know he does not have to tell anyone tey divorced it is none of their buisness.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 7, 2012 at 7:15 PM

So then it's no one else but herself letting her die. She's chosing to care for others than pay for her surgery.

Quoting jean_marie1987:

She has always put her family before herself.


Quoting 1likeme:

I see your point but why is she paying for two adults to attend college while she is slowly deteriorating. Her health is a higher priority than college tuition.


ferrellmt
by Bronze Member on Nov. 7, 2012 at 7:16 PM

29k seems excessive. she might find it cheaper to have a hysterectomy.  

Its like doing a root canal vs pulling the tooth.


emeraldangel2.0
by on Nov. 7, 2012 at 7:17 PM

ask around at the teaching hospitals and see if someone will do it pro-bono

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 7, 2012 at 7:17 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting emilysmom8:

 I thought it was a law that hospitals can NOT refuse to treat someone just becasue they have no insurance... its a law called EMTALA

Surgery is not included. They have to STABILIZE. Vaginal bleeding isn't considered a life threatening problem.

xixCandyxix
by Platinum Member on Nov. 7, 2012 at 7:18 PM

 In my state there is a special program for people with outrageous medical bills and they can get medicaid coverage, when usually they would earn too much. I forget what it's called though.

xixCandyxix
by Platinum Member on Nov. 7, 2012 at 7:19 PM

 Maybe it is time they stop supporting their college-age children and maybe then she can afford the surgery. It's harsh but it's the truth.

jean_marie1987
by on Nov. 7, 2012 at 7:19 PM
Not sure yet (I just text her), but she's had the same OBGYN for 10 years at least.


Quoting Cheribomb:

what exactly is wrong with her ovaries?  i bled from january to november because my hormones were out of whack. i had to try like 3 different bc pills to get the right hormones to work for me.  i would get another opinion.  i wasn't bleeding lightly either.  


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AmandaMaeBell
by on Nov. 7, 2012 at 7:21 PM

Can she get a spend down card?  It's the same as a medical card, but it has a certain amount that can be spent on it.  If they are borderline on income, she may get one.  IDK if all states have this tho.  Good luck, bless her heart!

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 7, 2012 at 7:21 PM

welcome to americas health system. if your uncle quit his job they would get all the help they need. if they came here illegaly from somwhere else she would get all the help she needs, for free even. otherwise, if you make over what the state limit is (and its a pretty crappy limit) its all on you. i have some issues i need to have dealt with but i cant. no way in hell i can afford it. and no hospital will work with people, they want their money and they want it now. its really sad but its true. its an issue for many out there. she might be able to call her local county department and see if there is any progams she may be eligable for......for those are a hit and miss sometimes

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