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Sneaking around to smoke...feel like a teenager

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 22 Replies

DH and I quit smoking in 2002 when we got married.  We knew we didn't want to smoke in our new home or around any children that would come along.

Even after having a child dx with severe diabilities in 2007 and then a surprise 3 years later, I resisted the temptation to start back up though it did cross my mind periodically. 

Now, though, we are finding out that it is possible our youngest has some things going on that we will go the end of December to have him evaluated/tested/assessed to see what is going on.  Add this to the fact that I decided to go college  (online courses) to do something for me since I spend all my time and energy at Dr appointments, therapies, etc for my children.  I feel like it is the straw that broke the camel's back.  After all this time of being strong, I picked up a pack last week and have been sneaking outside to have one a night since then.  Always after the kids are asleep and before DH comes home from his night shift.  Weekends are a little more tricky to sneak out of the house for one.  It doesn't help that our neighbors are nosey busybodies and I am feeling like a teenager sneaking a smoke so my parents don't find out!  I don't like the taste, I hate the sneaking, but I do feel so much better after having one.  I come in, jump in the shower and go to bed before DH comes home.  All of this just so I can take a few deep breaths and feel a little calmer in my hectic life right now. 

My biggest fear is getting hooked again.  Though, I've had a night here or there I couldn't sneak out and I did just fine.  I feel like I need this "crutch" til we get the results next month.  I just hope that is what happens.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 10, 2012 at 11:17 PM
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soph324
by on Nov. 10, 2012 at 11:21 PM
1 mom liked this
I've quit smoking 3 times, and it is soooo easy to slip back into it and all of a sudden you're smoking a pack a day. In a month you will be totally hooked again, so stop now! Take 5 minutes to sneak away and meditate or something instead.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 10, 2012 at 11:35 PM

I am not away from my children enough to slip into a pack a day.  I literally have about 15-20 minutes a day (which is after the oldest goes to bed if I'm lucky) to smoke before my DH comes home.  My oldest's needs make it to where I would never ever smoke near him.  In fact, that is why I do it at night when I can get a shower, throw my clothes in the washer, etc and know that there isn't a chance being around him until morning. 

Quoting soph324:

I've quit smoking 3 times, and it is soooo easy to slip back into it and all of a sudden you're smoking a pack a day. In a month you will be totally hooked again, so stop now! Take 5 minutes to sneak away and meditate or something instead.


soph324
by on Nov. 10, 2012 at 11:46 PM
Ok. Well, do what you want. But smoking isn't really helping anything about your situation. And you can find a healthy way to deal with stress.

Quoting Anonymous:

I am not away from my children enough to slip into a pack a day.  I literally have about 15-20 minutes a day (which is after the oldest goes to bed if I'm lucky) to smoke before my DH comes home.  My oldest's needs make it to where I would never ever smoke near him.  In fact, that is why I do it at night when I can get a shower, throw my clothes in the washer, etc and know that there isn't a chance being around him until morning. 


Quoting soph324:

I've quit smoking 3 times, and it is soooo easy to slip back into it and all of a sudden you're smoking a pack a day. In a month you will be totally hooked again, so stop now! Take 5 minutes to sneak away and meditate or something instead.


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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 10, 2012 at 11:52 PM

I'm open to suggestions.  I had been going to the local Y for exercise, but my work schedule changed and now I don't have any free time while my husband is home with the children to leave and go do something.  I use to enjoy to make blankets, but now I find it more stressful because I feel rushed to do it.  I try reading (which I have always enjoyed) but end up with my mind wandering to everything I need to get done and do. 

Quoting soph324:

Ok. Well, do what you want. But smoking isn't really helping anything about your situation. And you can find a healthy way to deal with stress.

Quoting Anonymous:

I am not away from my children enough to slip into a pack a day.  I literally have about 15-20 minutes a day (which is after the oldest goes to bed if I'm lucky) to smoke before my DH comes home.  My oldest's needs make it to where I would never ever smoke near him.  In fact, that is why I do it at night when I can get a shower, throw my clothes in the washer, etc and know that there isn't a chance being around him until morning. 


Quoting soph324:

I've quit smoking 3 times, and it is soooo easy to slip back into it and all of a sudden you're smoking a pack a day. In a month you will be totally hooked again, so stop now! Take 5 minutes to sneak away and meditate or something instead.



Robsessed98
by Silver Member on Nov. 11, 2012 at 12:03 AM
I hope you dont get hooked again too. Quitting is one of the hardest things Ive ever tried (and failed). But if you can be a couple a day smoker, so what? You dont do it in the house, car or around the kids, so you're fine imo.
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Grumpylilpixy
by Ruby Member on Nov. 11, 2012 at 12:07 AM

My husband and I quit in Sept. And my husband fell at work and had to be airlifted 6 weeks later. I picked up and smoked. Quit as soon as we were home again.

I have been doing well and know it is NOT a habit I want to pick up again but I just went back to not smoking without any problem.. So every now and then I am sure you will be fine.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 11, 2012 at 12:13 AM

I know.  It took a lot to quit 10 years ago.   I would never do it near my children or in my vehicle since they spend a lot of time in there.  I have a feeling the sneaking will get to be too much soon and I'll have no choice but to give it up again.  I really don't think my DH would have the same thought process so I worry about him finding out and wanting to join me.  I know if there is any way it would affect my children or if I don't have that 15 minutes, I can go without it.  I'm not sure he could.

Quoting Robsessed98:

I hope you dont get hooked again too. Quitting is one of the hardest things Ive ever tried (and failed). But if you can be a couple a day smoker, so what? You dont do it in the house, car or around the kids, so you're fine imo.


Meghan6391
by Gold Member on Nov. 11, 2012 at 12:15 AM

that is very common. I have horrible anxiety and depression problems and i will sometime sneak a smoke (even though i am pregnant i need something to calm my nerves and its not an all the time time thing it is one every few weeks or so when i cant handle life) i started smoking at 14, it stopped me from doing the stupid things i was doing at that time to cope with life. 

LuvsHopesDreams
by Silver Member on Nov. 11, 2012 at 2:46 PM

Do you really want to risk getting hooked again?  Maybe you can stay on one cig a day--I can't.  I tried to quit yesterday (the only other time I've ever tried to quit was when I was pregnant, which I succeeded in doing until after he was born).  I struggled through most of the day yesterday and through the big cravings ,and thought I'd actually make it.  But I finally caved in and had one of my hubby's cigs about an hour before I went to bed.   Today....well, not so good.  Try to find some other way to relax if you can.  (I did have to smile at the image of you trying to keep it a secret from your nosy neighbors--and I remember the days as a teen trying to hide it from mom and dad.  That was a lot of work, wasn't it?)

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 13, 2012 at 6:32 AM

Smoking privately is my Mommy Time.......I think, can't be sure, that no one knows I smoke- including my child.  My husband never would have married me if I was a smoker, so I have been on the down low for so long.  And I cannot imagine not having a cig at least daily: this has led to some wild coverups.  I say do NOT worry about everyone else, worry about you.  Do what you like to do, what you need to do.  You go girlfriend.

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