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if your daughter came to you and said she wanted to be

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Your dd is 18, graduated high school, has a scholarship for college.

One day she comes to you and says she doesnt want to go to college. All she wants to do is be a stay at home mom.

Your daughter doesnt even have a boyfriend.

How do you react?
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 11, 2012 at 7:32 PM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 11, 2012 at 7:45 PM
With a great deal of confusion, why would she give up an education and opportunities to learn, grow, pursue a career for a dream that may or may not come to fruition latter in life. Even if she does at some point in her life make the decision to be home when her children are young, they do grow up and then what for her? What if her husband is incapacitated, becomes sick or the marriage ends and she becomes responsible for the support of herself or family? I would say she has watched too many Disney movies which seldom resemble real life!
A_McCool
by Silver Member on Nov. 11, 2012 at 7:45 PM

I would tell her that if that is what she want to do that it is okay.  I would, also, advise her that in the interim, she needs to go to school or get a job and move out/pay rent.  If she doesn't want to go to school right after high school, I would understand that.  I was not ready for college right after high school, and I wasted a year of my life floundering in college.  I could have been working and getting life and work experience.

carter210
by on Nov. 11, 2012 at 7:46 PM
I'm a SAHM and I'm going to college. Lol. I would tell my daughter that its awesome to be a SAHM but until she meets the right person and has kids of her own what is she going to do? I still would feel like she would need to go to school. Even if she is a SAHM in the future there are so many things that could happen and it would a good idea to have a career to fall back on.
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winkyloafer
by on Nov. 11, 2012 at 7:46 PM
If you want to be a SAHM, you have to get pregnant. If you want to get pregnant, you need to meet a man who will financially support you. If you want to find a man who will financially support you, you go to college.
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maureen813
by Gold Member on Nov. 11, 2012 at 7:47 PM
Quoting wrensong:

I would support her. At 18 that's what I wanted to be, so I did....I'm 40 now, still a SAHM, have 6 kids and I am totally happy with how my life has turned out




Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 11, 2012 at 7:48 PM
Its a hypothetical situation. My kids are still in elementary school. A friend is going through something similar.

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

If that is your choosing, yes.

I can't imagine a parent necessarily doing this, however. Were they to, I'd have to wonder just what type of conditions they place on those in their life in general?

It's not ideal to have your child change their mind about their future. But they shouldn't be punished for it, either.

Quoting Anonymous:

So since shes 18 and an adult I can tell her she can find her own place to stay to be a sahm?



Quoting Lizardannie1966:

She's 18 and technically an adult.

I would wonder what happened to her goals and dreams? And I'd ask that she at least reconsider and at least give college a try before turning down a remarkable offer (the scholarship).

But sorry to say it--at 18, it's ultimately their choice.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 11, 2012 at 7:51 PM
I'd tell her to go to college. Better chance of finding a guy who is capable of supporting a family there.
MamaBear2cubs
by Nikki on Nov. 11, 2012 at 7:52 PM

I would be supportive but encourage her to get an education just in case,it never hurts to have a backup.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 11, 2012 at 7:52 PM
Quoting wrensong:

I would support her. At 18 that's what I wanted to be, so I did....I'm 40 now, still a SAHM, have 6 kids and I am totally happy with how my life has turned out




I am so happy that it worked out for you and it is a beautiful thing to be a proud and happy wife and mother of six lovely children. Sadly, the divorce rate is 48 percent and climbing so millions of women out there have not faired so well and the number one way women and children are plunged into poverty is through divorce. I am not trying to be negative or cynical but doesn't it make more sense to have the necessary education and marketable job skills to take care of yourself and your children if the " happily ever after dream" does not become your reality?
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 11, 2012 at 7:53 PM
I'd say that is a great goal but she should always have an education to fall back on plus she would be more likely to meet a man who could support her at a college vs the checkout line at Walmart
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