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Has your teen ever started dating someone older?

Posted by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 11:42 AM
  • 12 Replies

'Modern Family' Star's 'Abuse' Allegations Against Mother Bring Up Important Questions About Teen Sexuality

Posted by Kiri Blakeley on November 13, 2012

Ariel WinterParents are often in denial that their "little babies" can be sexual beings. It seems just yesterday you were changing their diapers and watching them learn how to crawl, and then suddenly they're teens bringing home boyfriends and girlfriends and you're finding used condoms in the trash. I don't know why parents would be in denial. We write enough about Teen Mom on this site. But I guess it's the usual It would never happen to me syndrome. The fact is kids are going into puberty much earlier now. You may not have had the slightest sexual thought at 13 or 14 (that you'll admit to remember anyway), but that doesn't mean your kid doesn't. And that your kid isn't prepared to act on it. So what happens when, like Ariel Winter's mother is claiming, your underage daughter is sleeping with her of-age boyfriend, and you don't want her to?

First we heard that Ariel Winter, who stars on Modern Family, was claiming her mom was emotionally and physically abusive. Ariel was removed from her home and placed with her older sister. But now her mother, Crystal Workman, is retaliating -- saying this is all about a boy. Said Crystal in court documents:

Since I have asked Ariel to end her relationship ... she has been bad-mouthing me and spreading rumors and lies about me to substantiate this Guardianship proceeding ... I caught Ariel and (the teen) engaging in inappropriate sexual behavior, which is when I became adamant that she end her relationship with him. Out of concern for Ariel, I notified the police since Ariel is a minor.

If any of this is true, Crystal is in a tough position. Most parents would prefer their kids remain virgins until they're, oh, 100. But that ain't reality. In fact, parents trying to separate their kid from their boyfriend or girlfriend can be putting themselves in danger. I've watched enough ID channel detective shows to note that one of the most common motivators for a teen killing a parent is when that parent has tried to break up their relationship. One of the worst cases I saw was that of a quiet church-going girl who had her boyfriend kill her entire family (the father survived) and torch the house when they forbade them from seeing each other. It even happened when I was in high school -- a girl and her boyfriend strangled her mother to death with her own pantyhose because she was against the relationship. I'm telling you, parents, this isn't something you want to mess with lightly. Maybe it's because love makes us crazy.

Of course, parents are put in a bad position when their underage kid is getting sexual with someone older -- could they even be arrested if they let the relationship continue and someone reports it? On the other hand, break it up, and you risk the wrath of two hormone-addled teens.

I don't know about you, but I like my life. If my teen feels she's ready to have sex, I'll hand her the condoms and explain the need for protection. If she gets emotionally hurt, maybe she'll learn her lesson. Getting hurt in love is one we all have to learn eventually anyway.

Has your teen ever started dating someone older? What did you do?

by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 11:42 AM
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Replies (1-10):
2Birds1Stone
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 11:43 AM

I better be careful how I answer, if I say what I really feel I might get blocked because you don't like my answer...isn't that right steph?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Nov. 13, 2012 at 11:47 AM

Reading this story, reminds me a lot of a typical teenage girl who wants to get her way. I have known too many teens who would lie about a parent who put their foot down with them, just to get their way.

I can provide several examples from several different teens... who all happen to be teenage girls.

One girl almost had her dad thrown in jail for abuse because she wanted to live with her drug addict mom, and he had custody but refused to give up custody.

Another girl wanted to have the priviledge to go to boys houses (at age 14), and run around like she was an adult, and her mom allowed it, but her father did not, so she claimed her dad emotionally abused her and also claimed he punched her (none of which was true, I know for a fact)

Another girl wanted to live with her dad because she felt she was being punished too much at her moms, so she took her mom to court for abuse... 

Those are a few examples... all teens, between the ages of 12-14. 

CheyanneW
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 11:47 AM
What a stupid article! Let your kid have sex with whomever they want because they might kill you? That's just rediculous!
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Nov. 13, 2012 at 11:48 AM

My sd is 16 and started dating an 18 year old when she was 15. But because her mom is cool with it, and lets him practically live with them, there is nothing I could do. I just know I won't allow the same bs from my dd. 

MistyMoo
by Ruby Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 11:49 AM
I used to date older guys. I don't think I've ever dated anyone my age tbh. My parents didn't do anything about it..
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2Birds1Stone
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 11:50 AM

Oh boy now you've done it! You gonna be blocked for saying this article is stupid.

Quoting CheyanneW:

What a stupid article! Let your kid have sex with whomever they want because they might kill you? That's just rediculous!


beeky
by Gold Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 11:52 AM

My daughter is 19 (she will be 20 in less than a month) and she just started dating someone who is 30.  I don't have a problem with it.

CheyanneW
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 11:54 AM
Why?


Quoting 2Birds1Stone:

Oh boy now you've done it! You gonna be blocked for saying this article is stupid.

Quoting CheyanneW:

What a stupid article! Let your kid have sex with whomever they want because they might kill you? That's just rediculous!



Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
2Birds1Stone
by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 11:56 AM

There are some heads that can block you just for your opinion being opposite of theirs....no joke! If they don't like you or your views, you are gone....happens all the time.

Quoting CheyanneW:

Why?


Quoting 2Birds1Stone:

Oh boy now you've done it! You gonna be blocked for saying this article is stupid.

Quoting CheyanneW:

What a stupid article! Let your kid have sex with whomever they want because they might kill you? That's just rediculous!




DanaG70
by Platinum Member on Nov. 13, 2012 at 11:59 AM

 My daughter just turned 16, she has as of yet been on a date and she had a boyfriend for a total of 10 days last year, but they didn't even hold hands. When she finally does start dating, I'll put her on birth control.

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