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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

i need advice...how long could you stay in this marriage?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
So I read another post asking how involved is your husband.
A lot of the women said 50/50
well I'll say like 25% of the time he helps but I really have to force him to help. If I ask him to change a diaper I have to get the diaper and wipes and take my son to him. I could just change it myself!!!! He doesn't clean or discipline the kids but man can he ignore them and tune into that tv. He works but it seems like he takes advantage of me because of it. He forces me to hand wash and line dry the clothes and that pissed me off. He would rather put the extra money into football polls than give me the money for laundry. He forces me to beg for diapers because he's careless with the bills and money. My name is so in debt because of him. Tomorrow he has to be to work early so I have to stay up til 4 am to wake him up because hes afraid he will over sleep.

**Anyway with all that he does would you leave this man? Or can you relate? How long would you work on a marriage like this before you called it quits? I don't work so I feel stuck! I will be leaving but I just wonder how long you personally could stay in this marriage and how long you would "try"? I want to feel like I have done everything I can to make it work.

More info in first reply
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 14, 2012 at 2:48 AM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:20 AM
I feel he's really emotionally abusive and then as I try to talk to him about it it gets turned around on me.


Quoting GirlWSemiAuto:

Is he violent or emotionally abusive other than just being a lazy husband and father?



Quoting Anonymous:

He wont allow me to work. His behavior almost got me fired from my last job. So I would need to leave first. Which is hard since I don't have anyone I could stay with. I don't care though when the time comes to leave(soon) I will stay at a shelter till I get on my feet.






Quoting GirlWSemiAuto:

Have you considered just standing up to him and getting a job? Can you be more assertive?


CaptainCookie
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:23 AM

 I worked on it for almost 7 years. I'm divorcing him now. He never changed no matter how many times he said he would.

He was exactly like your man.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:25 AM
Thank you. I've been saying I'm done this whole last year but he always begged and guilted me into staying. I gave him a final date to change or I'm gone. I'm sure he doesn't think I'm serious but first of the year he's gonna get a big wake up call


Quoting AntzMom24:

Honestly, if it were me, I would make him do it on his own. He's a grown man. It's time he steps up and acts like it. If after forcing him to do it all on his own he STILL doesn't do the right thing, I would leave. Let him come home to an empty house. Maybe then he'll realize he just lost the best things in his life. I'm sorry you're going through this, and I honestly hope that he does see what he's doing to you and your family. 


pristine729
by Silver Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:26 AM
Stay up until four a.m. to make sure he's awake?
No, I don't want a husband that's more of a child than a PARTNER.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:28 AM
It always got turned around on to me. And I know I'm not perfect but I have never done anything to affect the whole family. I always got guilted into staying but I'm done first of the year he will find out.


Quoting CaptainCookie:

 I worked on it for almost 7 years. I'm divorcing him now. He never changed no matter how many times he said he would.


He was exactly like your man.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:29 AM

Leave he cares more about gambling and himself than his family. 

No I can't relate, my dh is amazing. I am disable because of a spine injury and we have a 4 yo DD. He works full time, does about 75% of the cleaning around the house and helps some with our dd mostly at night, bath etc. But it is me all day with her. I have really bad days which makes it hard to deal with a smart independent 4yo. Pain is my worst enemy is and my dh is very understanding. I am very lucky.

M

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:29 AM
He got sent home early today so he came home and woke me up early then wants me to stay up and I'm so tired.:(


Quoting pristine729:

Stay up until four a.m. to make sure he's awake?

No, I don't want a husband that's more of a child than a PARTNER.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:31 AM
I'm sorry you're in so much pain. You are very lucky to have such a good husband!


Quoting Anonymous:

Leave he cares more about gambling and himself than his family. 

No I can't relate, my dh is amazing. I am disable because of a spine injury and we have a 4 yo DD. He works full time, does about 75% of the cleaning around the house and helps some with our dd mostly at night, bath etc. But it is me all day with her. I have really bad days which makes it hard to deal with a smart independent 4yo. Pain is my worst enemy is and my dh is very understanding. I am very lucky.

M


3xangel
by *Angelicious* on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:34 AM


Quoting MochaBerry24:

I would have never tolerated his BS

Quoting Anonymous:

I know its over. I'm way done! just wondering how long others could stand this?





Quoting MochaBerry24:

sounds like you already have your answer. 




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CaptainCookie
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:35 AM

 Yep. Thats how my ex is. if the dishes werent done, I'm lazy. Nevermind I'm taking care of our daughter. if i'm taking too long with fixing dinner, he would yell. i was supposed to wash his work clothes and fold them a certain way so that they would look better. he could go out to eat but he would yell if i bought a box of cereal for my daughter and i to eat. so on and so on. he controlled me so much i felt dead inside. luckily, i was able to move in with my sister. i hope that things work out for you. you can PM me, if you want to.

Quoting Anonymous:

It always got turned around on to me. And I know I'm not perfect but I have never done anything to affect the whole family. I always got guilted into staying but I'm done first of the year he will find out.


Quoting CaptainCookie:

 I worked on it for almost 7 years. I'm divorcing him now. He never changed no matter how many times he said he would.


He was exactly like your man.


 

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