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i need advice...how long could you stay in this marriage?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
So I read another post asking how involved is your husband.
A lot of the women said 50/50
well I'll say like 25% of the time he helps but I really have to force him to help. If I ask him to change a diaper I have to get the diaper and wipes and take my son to him. I could just change it myself!!!! He doesn't clean or discipline the kids but man can he ignore them and tune into that tv. He works but it seems like he takes advantage of me because of it. He forces me to hand wash and line dry the clothes and that pissed me off. He would rather put the extra money into football polls than give me the money for laundry. He forces me to beg for diapers because he's careless with the bills and money. My name is so in debt because of him. Tomorrow he has to be to work early so I have to stay up til 4 am to wake him up because hes afraid he will over sleep.

**Anyway with all that he does would you leave this man? Or can you relate? How long would you work on a marriage like this before you called it quits? I don't work so I feel stuck! I will be leaving but I just wonder how long you personally could stay in this marriage and how long you would "try"? I want to feel like I have done everything I can to make it work.

More info in first reply
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 14, 2012 at 2:48 AM
Replies (31-40):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:42 AM
Thank you! I'm so mad at myself for all the years I've wasted!


Quoting CaptainCookie:

 Yep. Thats how my ex is. if the dishes werent done, I'm lazy. Nevermind I'm taking care of our daughter. if i'm taking too long with fixing dinner, he would yell. i was supposed to wash his work clothes and fold them a certain way so that they would look better. he could go out to eat but he would yell if i bought a box of cereal for my daughter and i to eat. so on and so on. he controlled me so much i felt dead inside. luckily, i was able to move in with my sister. i hope that things work out for you. you can PM me, if you want to.


Quoting Anonymous:

It always got turned around on to me. And I know I'm not perfect but I have never done anything to affect the whole family. I always got guilted into staying but I'm done first of the year he will find out.



Quoting CaptainCookie:


 I worked on it for almost 7 years. I'm divorcing him now. He never changed no matter how many times he said he would.



He was exactly like your man.



 


CaptainCookie
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:47 AM

 Trust me. I know that feeling well. I've been thinking that too.

Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you! I'm so mad at myself for all the years I've wasted!


Quoting CaptainCookie:

 Yep. Thats how my ex is. if the dishes werent done, I'm lazy. Nevermind I'm taking care of our daughter. if i'm taking too long with fixing dinner, he would yell. i was supposed to wash his work clothes and fold them a certain way so that they would look better. he could go out to eat but he would yell if i bought a box of cereal for my daughter and i to eat. so on and so on. he controlled me so much i felt dead inside. luckily, i was able to move in with my sister. i hope that things work out for you. you can PM me, if you want to.


Quoting Anonymous:

It always got turned around on to me. And I know I'm not perfect but I have never done anything to affect the whole family. I always got guilted into staying but I'm done first of the year he will find out.



Quoting CaptainCookie:


 I worked on it for almost 7 years. I'm divorcing him now. He never changed no matter how many times he said he would.



He was exactly like your man.



 


 

mamaxkitty
by Gold Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:53 AM

i would kick his ass to the curb. he sounds like a selfish asshole. He's useless, so why have him there? he just creates more issues for you.

i would put my foot down and if he didn't react to that then id kick him to the curb.


usmc.momma
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 4:01 AM
Why exactly are you staying up for him??
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
patricia67
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 4:05 AM

LEAVE .............. you're not important, his kids aren't!!!!! Get help, block anything where he cn make depts in your name (call the Bank) ............. Get a laywer!!!!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 14, 2012 at 4:19 AM

Thank you he is great, but not perfect. It gets to both of us at times. This is not the life I imagined for us and our family. But in life nothing is 100% guaranteed. A married is the effort of two people you get what you put into it. And if you aren't happy do something about it.


M

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry you're in so much pain. You are very lucky to have such a good husband!


Quoting Anonymous:

Leave he cares more about gambling and himself than his family. 

No I can't relate, my dh is amazing. I am disable because of a spine injury and we have a 4 yo DD. He works full time, does about 75% of the cleaning around the house and helps some with our dd mostly at night, bath etc. But it is me all day with her. I have really bad days which makes it hard to deal with a smart independent 4yo. Pain is my worst enemy is and my dh is very understanding. I am very lucky.

M



pristine729
by Silver Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 4:26 AM
That's crazy...

Quoting Anonymous:

He got sent home early today so he came home and woke me up early then wants me to stay up and I'm so tired.:(




Quoting pristine729:

Stay up until four a.m. to make sure he's awake?


No, I don't want a husband that's more of a child than a PARTNER.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Sammi20
by Silver Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 4:27 AM

I would definitely not deal with that. If he can't take care of a simple necessity like laundry money he needs to grow up. Stop doing his laundry and tell HIM do it by hand! And not making sure you can put diapers on your baby! Girl you better give him a reality check or get the bleep outta there!! Thats terrible! I would definitely be upset if I were you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 14, 2012 at 4:28 AM

Sorry but this marriage would be so over! I wouldn't put up with that!

Sammi20
by Silver Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 4:28 AM
1 mom liked this

And the 4am bullsh** Ok I don't even know him and I hate him... get him an alarm clock for christmas and nothing else!

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