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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

i need advice...how long could you stay in this marriage?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
So I read another post asking how involved is your husband.
A lot of the women said 50/50
well I'll say like 25% of the time he helps but I really have to force him to help. If I ask him to change a diaper I have to get the diaper and wipes and take my son to him. I could just change it myself!!!! He doesn't clean or discipline the kids but man can he ignore them and tune into that tv. He works but it seems like he takes advantage of me because of it. He forces me to hand wash and line dry the clothes and that pissed me off. He would rather put the extra money into football polls than give me the money for laundry. He forces me to beg for diapers because he's careless with the bills and money. My name is so in debt because of him. Tomorrow he has to be to work early so I have to stay up til 4 am to wake him up because hes afraid he will over sleep.

**Anyway with all that he does would you leave this man? Or can you relate? How long would you work on a marriage like this before you called it quits? I don't work so I feel stuck! I will be leaving but I just wonder how long you personally could stay in this marriage and how long you would "try"? I want to feel like I have done everything I can to make it work.

More info in first reply
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 14, 2012 at 2:48 AM
Replies (71-80):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 12 on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:00 PM

sorry but we would have serious talk, some counseling.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 13 on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:00 PM
A lot would be changing...
First of all- why do you let it happen??
sampson200
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:01 PM

Ummm, that is not a marriage.

That is servitude.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 14 on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:02 PM

yea I would do as they say... kick him to the curb!!!

A marriage should be 50/50 (or some say 100/100)... and if he isn't willing to be equal with you, then you deserve better! 

otoole
by Silver Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:03 PM

leave. he is way to selfish, you can't change someone who doesn't want to be changed.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 15 on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:07 PM

I can completely relate to this. I have stayed for a long time, but there have been improvements because we went to counseling and also went through some traumatic events. if he is not willing to work on these things, or you are not willing or able to open up and be honest about how you feel then you should end it asap.

sampson200
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:08 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

A lot would be changing...
First of all- why do you let it happen??

Exactly.

Sure, I know some men are just pure assholes and beat you down until you're nothing but limp fluff, but damn, if my husband said to me, "You MUST handwash all diapers and only organic baby food and never use the dryer and you must stay up all night because I cannot hear an alarm like all other grownups and where is my fucking martini?!"

....after I wiped the tears of laughter from my eyes, I'd ask him when HE planned on implimenting all these fantastic ideas because I sure didn't have the personality to do so.

Men only 'get away with' this shit because there is some woman there just taking it 'out of love'.

Oh, if I show him that I love him through doing these ridiculous tasks and allow him to live his life . . .he'll eventually SEE how much my love for him is and he'll return that love tenfold!

Erm, no. No, he most usually will not.

It's like girls who chase after badboys, convinced she'll be the one to melt his angry little heart.

Women think they can LOVE a man and that love will change them.

No, being adults and fully commited and 100% honest and having hard and many times uncomfortable conversations that can have yelling and tears and 'Lord, what the HELL did I marry this person for?' thoughts during the bad times is what makes a marriage.

Many men act the way they do because 1) that is just the way the are from their past and their upbringing and their life outlooks and 2) because a woman doesn't stand up for herself.

So, either stand up for yourself and he'll change his tune, and if not, well, you've just married this guy who was probably always like this and if he won't change for his family, he won't change for anyone.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:10 PM
Since I stay at home I thought this is how it was supposed to be(even though it upset me). Now its just keeps getting worse.


Quoting Anonymous:

A lot would be changing...

First of all- why do you let it happen??

isell_avon
by ehhhh! on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:18 PM

it's easy for everyone to say "i would just leave" but i know it would not be that easy. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 16 on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:27 PM
1 mom liked this
This is why I will never go without a job! I can financially support my children if need be, now my money is for savings & fun money but I will NEVER be financially dependant on a MAN EVER!!! Get out now and get your independance!
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