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Are dads held to the same standards as moms?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
It seems on here that they are not. If she expects him to help out at all, she is lazy. If she gets no free time and gets pissed that he does, she is a clingy bitch. If she does go out, she is a bad mom. If he is sick and vomitting all over the place, she is cold for not waiting on him (and the kids) hand and foot. If she is sick and still has to work and care for the kids she "is a mom and needs to do it". So on and so on. Why do we hold moms to higher standards then dads when dad helped create the child/ren as well. Now I understand women are amazing and can handle way more then men ;) but why do we just let them get away with these things. Marriage and parenting takes teamwork and both the man and woman should be team players in the match called life. Am I the only one to notice this double standard? What do you think?



Thought of another example I saw on reddit during the cafemom blackout. Dad is a frivolous spender putting the family in a hole so mom should get a job to make up the difference instead of dad controlling his spending.
or if dads half ass it when they help. If mom takes a kid to the store barefoot while its cold or forgets to bathe the child, she is a bad mom. If dad does it, well people are just being picky. Why is it ok for a dad to half ass parenting?
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 14, 2012 at 9:14 AM
Replies (11-20):
mommy_me
by ~The Three B's~ on Nov. 14, 2012 at 9:28 AM
1 mom liked this

 Each family is different. No one has the same standards

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 14, 2012 at 9:30 AM
2 moms liked this

You forgot "if she is a submissive wife in a traditional marriage she is a doormat".  Women just can't win...with other women.  Ever notice how men don't judge other men on anything, especially their parenting skills?

mariesmama
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 9:30 AM

i used to wait on hubby when he was sick, but imm not dealing with both of them sick at the same time then laundry alone makes me crazy

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 14, 2012 at 9:33 AM
So we should expect them to help but not do it right? Lol its ok if they half ass it? I understand what you are saying and have had to accepting when I am just being picky to. Maybe I should add that as an example. Its ok if they have ass it but not us?

Quoting Matriarch87:

I can only speak for myself but for me its because my husband doesnt do things how I like and its important to me it get done how I want. So when he does help I have to act all appreciative but my ears are on fire because I cannot believe he chose that pair of socks to dress my son in, I cant believe he fed him that for breakfast, I cant believe he didnt comb his hair, I cant believe he didnt pack a blanket...for examples. I used to try to teach him but he would get all offended and say im too picky or over reacting, maybe he is right. So id keep my mouth shut and mentally tell myself to do it next time.





He has no fashion sense and is incable of dressing my son nicely.





He never knows where anything is at and sewms unable to plan an hour in the future.





I dont mind him helping me clean at all but thats the one area he doesnt like helping with. Everything else I just hate how he does it...mommy knows best.





Even baths! He always "forgets" to clip my sons nails and doesnt shampoo him good enough.





But there are certainly a few things he can do right and I give him responsibilities regarding parenting and the house. Just not many.





Ive never left my husband with my son longer than a night because im scared my son will go to preschool looking like a fool, or eat spaghetti for breakfast, or wear shoes that are too small.
Matriarch87
by Ruby Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 9:34 AM
To be clear though, im not a woman hater and I do think that everything should be equal in the household and ive never bashed a woman on here for expecting that....this is just how it works in my house. Im the anal retentive one that fears my husband needing to pick out a pair of jeans for my baby and semding him to school in a jammie shirt because he cant tell the difference.
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torttia
by Bronze Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 9:37 AM

AMEN

TugBoatMama
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 9:39 AM

 Oh yes I notice it. Its completely absurd. I've been told I'm lazy and selfish because I stay home and my husband offers to do nice things for me, like give foot and hand rubs. Apparently I should reject all of his kind gestures because I don't work so I must not deserve it.

Miss-B
by ‚ô•Divalicious‚ô• on Nov. 14, 2012 at 9:39 AM

Yup..

Quoting mommy_me:

 Each family is different. No one has the same standards



Aislinn
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 9:41 AM


Quoting owl0210:

 I've never seen so many women haters prior to joining cafemom.

 I could not agree more...

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 14, 2012 at 9:42 AM
3 moms liked this

I've seen on here alot of times that the man DOES try, and its not up to the mom's standards. 

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