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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Lost with my dd

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies
Idk what t do anymore. I was living with my grandma to help her with bills and her to help me with child care while i worked night shift. DDs father isnt in the picture at all. I have filed for child support but its an out of state case so its taking forever. But dd is 4 turning 5 in March. Well she was a very good girl and actually still is with everyone but me. She back talks me, screams at me, and just doesnt listen to the simplest things i say. She fights me on EVERYTHING. I had enough and moved in with my bf bc my grandma would undermind any punishment i put in place for my dd. I did try to talk to her and she said she sees the way she treats me but she is a completly different kid for her. Now i have taken all her toys away for not cleaning them up. She cant watch tv and go anywhere but to school or with me and my bf like to the store not to anyones house. When is good she earns things back. IDK what to do i need ideas badly. Please help me ladies.
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 14, 2012 at 11:39 AM
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Replies (1-9):
LectioDivina
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 11:40 AM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 14, 2012 at 11:41 AM

I would have done the same thing.

stephiebugg
by Gold Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 11:44 AM

 Positive reinforcement works better than punishing. Try a rewards chart for good behavior. Set clear expectations. Reward her for being good as often than you punish her for being bad (this can be verbal praise, like "wow, great job being good in the store today!")

epoh
by Ruby Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 11:44 AM
It sounds like she doesn't respect you at all.

Your punishments are not for a 4 yo, however. They need to be immediate. Indefinitely grounding her from going anywhere or doing anything won't benefit the situation.

If she only disrespects you then it is up to you to regain that respect. Perhaps it is time for some self-evaluation and reflection.
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mrs.bledsoe
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 11:54 AM

My DD turns 5 next month and she is WAY into princesses so I use that as a good reminder for her. Punishments weren't working for her either so one day I just started calmly asking her how a princess behaves. She said a princess is always sweet and never grouchy. I asked her if she is a princess and of course she said yes lol. I make it a point to praise her lots when she is being mommys super sweet princess. On grouchy days I have her sit with me for a few minutes and we talk about being grouchy (mean to her brother or cousins, talking back, tantrums) and there is ALWAYS a reason and in her almost 5yo mind whatever is wrong is a good reason to be grouchy (usually that she didnt get to play with etc toy, or something like that). I found that when I show real concern and interest in her "problems" and talk her through them she is a WAY sweeter child. That extra few minutes to talk it out does wonders. Most of all patience will go a long way.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 14, 2012 at 12:01 PM
WOW mine is into princesses too really bad. LOL i may have to try that and see. I hope it does. I mean this has gotten out of hand. Thank you very much.

Quoting mrs.bledsoe:

My DD turns 5 next month and she is WAY into princesses so I use that as a good reminder for her. Punishments weren't working for her either so one day I just started calmly asking her how a princess behaves. She said a princess is always sweet and never grouchy. I asked her if she is a princess and of course she said yes lol. I make it a point to praise her lots when she is being mommys super sweet princess. On grouchy days I have her sit with me for a few minutes and we talk about being grouchy (mean to her brother or cousins, talking back, tantrums) and there is ALWAYS a reason and in her almost 5yo mind whatever is wrong is a good reason to be grouchy (usually that she didnt get to play with etc toy, or something like that). I found that when I show real concern and interest in her "problems" and talk her through them she is a WAY sweeter child. That extra few minutes to talk it out does wonders. Most of all patience will go a long way.

mrs.bledsoe
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 9:59 AM

My DD is sensitive and my biggest adjustment was to stop saying things like "Stop being mean" or "stop acting bad". The more I said things like that the worse she acted. When I started referring to it as just being grouchy I got better reactions from her.

Quoting Anonymous:

WOW mine is into princesses too really bad. LOL i may have to try that and see. I hope it does. I mean this has gotten out of hand. Thank you very much.

Quoting mrs.bledsoe:

My DD turns 5 next month and she is WAY into princesses so I use that as a good reminder for her. Punishments weren't working for her either so one day I just started calmly asking her how a princess behaves. She said a princess is always sweet and never grouchy. I asked her if she is a princess and of course she said yes lol. I make it a point to praise her lots when she is being mommys super sweet princess. On grouchy days I have her sit with me for a few minutes and we talk about being grouchy (mean to her brother or cousins, talking back, tantrums) and there is ALWAYS a reason and in her almost 5yo mind whatever is wrong is a good reason to be grouchy (usually that she didnt get to play with etc toy, or something like that). I found that when I show real concern and interest in her "problems" and talk her through them she is a WAY sweeter child. That extra few minutes to talk it out does wonders. Most of all patience will go a long way.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 15, 2012 at 10:41 AM
I wonder if that would work for mine bc she is sensitive as well. When she came home from school last night i talked to her and brought up the princess thing and said now lets practice acting like a princess today and she did great up until bedtime. So we are hopefully getting somewhere. Thank you so much.

Quoting mrs.bledsoe:

My DD is sensitive and my biggest adjustment was to stop saying things like "Stop being mean" or "stop acting bad". The more I said things like that the worse she acted. When I started referring to it as just being grouchy I got better reactions from her.


Quoting Anonymous:

WOW mine is into princesses too really bad. LOL i may have to try that and see. I hope it does. I mean this has gotten out of hand. Thank you very much.


Quoting mrs.bledsoe:


My DD turns 5 next month and she is WAY into princesses so I use that as a good reminder for her. Punishments weren't working for her either so one day I just started calmly asking her how a princess behaves. She said a princess is always sweet and never grouchy. I asked her if she is a princess and of course she said yes lol. I make it a point to praise her lots when she is being mommys super sweet princess. On grouchy days I have her sit with me for a few minutes and we talk about being grouchy (mean to her brother or cousins, talking back, tantrums) and there is ALWAYS a reason and in her almost 5yo mind whatever is wrong is a good reason to be grouchy (usually that she didnt get to play with etc toy, or something like that). I found that when I show real concern and interest in her "problems" and talk her through them she is a WAY sweeter child. That extra few minutes to talk it out does wonders. Most of all patience will go a long way.



mrs.bledsoe
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 10:52 AM

You're welcome. And we have bedtime troubles too but they are getting easier. Every Sunday night is family night and if they have gone to bed fairly easily all week they get to pick out the movie and snack for Sunday night and that seems to be working wonders for bedtime! DD enjoys feeling like she is "earning" something. Same goes for school, if she gets green lights on her behavior chart all week she gets concession money on Friday. Grouchy princesses don't get to eat snacks lol. Its just trial and error basically and Im an over the top mommy so all day I'll be giving her hugs and kisses and saying "thank you for being a sweet princess for mommy" and I tell her how proud I am of her. It really is true about the more you show attention and praise for good behavior the better they act.

Quoting Anonymous:

I wonder if that would work for mine bc she is sensitive as well. When she came home from school last night i talked to her and brought up the princess thing and said now lets practice acting like a princess today and she did great up until bedtime. So we are hopefully getting somewhere. Thank you so much.

Quoting mrs.bledsoe:

My DD is sensitive and my biggest adjustment was to stop saying things like "Stop being mean" or "stop acting bad". The more I said things like that the worse she acted. When I started referring to it as just being grouchy I got better reactions from her.


Quoting Anonymous:

WOW mine is into princesses too really bad. LOL i may have to try that and see. I hope it does. I mean this has gotten out of hand. Thank you very much.


Quoting mrs.bledsoe:


My DD turns 5 next month and she is WAY into princesses so I use that as a good reminder for her. Punishments weren't working for her either so one day I just started calmly asking her how a princess behaves. She said a princess is always sweet and never grouchy. I asked her if she is a princess and of course she said yes lol. I make it a point to praise her lots when she is being mommys super sweet princess. On grouchy days I have her sit with me for a few minutes and we talk about being grouchy (mean to her brother or cousins, talking back, tantrums) and there is ALWAYS a reason and in her almost 5yo mind whatever is wrong is a good reason to be grouchy (usually that she didnt get to play with etc toy, or something like that). I found that when I show real concern and interest in her "problems" and talk her through them she is a WAY sweeter child. That extra few minutes to talk it out does wonders. Most of all patience will go a long way.


 


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