I kind of think it's not okay not to.
Absolutely. Life does not stop just because you become a mother. Sure its altered a bit, but it doesn't stop. A sane, happy, rested mom is a better mom.
Depends on what you mean by "having a life" if you mean having a job outside the home, sure if that's what works for your family, if you mean going out with friends sometimes without the kids, sure, if you mean going on dates with your SO on occasion without the kids, yes, but if you mean neglecting your kids so you can "have a life" then no.
I was who I was before having kids, now that I have a family I have learned to balance my needs and theirs.
When my kids were younger, I had less free time to do my own thing. But I still did. I taught Ballet on the weekends, because I could secure a sitter. I made jewelry and got adventurous with my cooking. I dabbled with my painting here and there. I have built furniture.
Now that my kids are older, I am looking for other ways to expand on myself as I have fewer limits. One being opening my own boutique with in the next year or so. I'm super excited about it.
My DH has found ways to maintain his individuality as well.
And our kids have really benefited from watching us both learn to balance family, work and personal needs.
Make a poll. I know 90% of the moms on here look down on anyone who has a life outside of being a mother unless you are on PA that you shouldn't even have a life all you should do is work work work then be a mother in your spare time.
It depends on your definition of life outside of motherhood.
If you mean, going out and partying every single weekend, and leaving your children with other people constantly because you need that "me time"...then yeah its wrong.
But if you mean, going out, maybe once or twice a month leaving your children with the grandparents for a night, and you know they get the attention they need from you...then there is nothing wrong with that at all.
Some mothers take having a life outside of being a mother, to a whole other level, to where its not good for the kids. When you become a mother, a real mother, partying takes a back seat.
Up until this past year I had no life whatsoever outside of caring for my son and I was completely miserable! Now that i've started taking time for myself, I am a lot happier, i'm not as snappy with him or anyone else and things just go smoother.
I volunteer to save lives; What do you do?
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