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Do you think it ok to have a life outside of being a mother?

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by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 3:28 PM
Replies (51-60):
by Ruby Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 6:02 PM
I can't stand when moms on here say it has been forever since they went out with friends, bought themselves something or got some alone time. Never in a million years will I ever be a mom with no social life.
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by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 6:04 PM

Yes, that's just not healthy. 

by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 6:11 PM

Nah. Once you give birth you stop living your own seperate life. Much like when you get married.


Seriously? Of course it's ok, and healthy, to have a life outside of being a mother. It isn't ok to be partying and reliving your youth every day of your life, but once in a while going out with your friends and letting loose? Have fun! 

by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 6:15 PM

Yes.. I get to take a quick shower most days, if I'm lucky I can watch a whole tv show. While their sleeping I get to wash clothes and do the dishes!! Sex is always an extra with my husband, if we can get it once a month with a 5 month old and a 5 year old, we consider ourselves blessed!! I some times get to read a magazine and I'm on here while holding our baby. I don't remember what it's like to bath or use the bathroom alone. I was 18 when my daughter was born, all I can remember is being a mom, I'm 23 now. I don't mind being just a mommy and a wife. When I'm not doing something for our children, I'm cleaning up after my dh. I don't remember what it's like doing anything for myself or someone helping me. 

by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 6:15 PM

I not only think it's okay.. I feel that for most women it is a must.  Having a life outside of being a mother helps women maintain their own self identity, helps them to keep a social network outside of immediate family, helps them to expand their thoughts and their horizons, helps them to keep grounded, helps them to keeps sight of what they would like to do for themselves/with themselves once their children are grown and gone.

As a woman who's child is grown and gone. I know the changes that happen in life between when your child(ren) is born and when they leave home.  I have a couple of friends who did not maintain a life outside of their children. Now at this age, they are extremely lost. They are depressed, they feel useless, they feel like there's nothing left for them in their lives now that their children are gone. They also have lost their relationships with their husbands. They are still caught up in "momma mode" and just can't seem to get out of it. The two (very close) friends that I see experiencing this make my heart ache.  In their late 40's and they feel life is just over for them.  It saddens me. 

ETA:  I also feel it's extremely important for women to keep their interpersonal man-woman relationship going with their partner/spouse after children are born.  This relationship needs to be nurtured, tended, and expanded even after children are born.  It's not only important just for the sake of the relationship itself, but it also gives support for mom/dad in regards to raising the family, and it also helps keep that relationship strong and tight so that the relationship is still whole and in good shape once the kiddos are gone.

by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 14, 2012 at 6:18 PM
I have a life. Some parts of that don't include my children. Most parts do. It is all collectively part of the same life. I don't have a separate life from my children however, that's sounds weird to me.
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by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 6:33 PM


boo   Daisypath Anniversary tickers

by Metal Awareness on Nov. 14, 2012 at 6:33 PM
Of course, wish I had one:(
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by Gold Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 6:35 PM
Of course. We shouldnt let the things we do take over our lives to the point where it changes from "what I do" to "who I am."

I'm a mother but there's so much more to me than just "mother."
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by Ruby Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 6:37 PM

If you want one. I found I didn't have time.

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