Yes, that's just not healthy.
Nah. Once you give birth you stop living your own seperate life. Much like when you get married.*eyeroll*Seriously? Of course it's ok, and healthy, to have a life outside of being a mother. It isn't ok to be partying and reliving your youth every day of your life, but once in a while going out with your friends and letting loose? Have fun!
Yes.. I get to take a quick shower most days, if I'm lucky I can watch a whole tv show. While their sleeping I get to wash clothes and do the dishes!! Sex is always an extra with my husband, if we can get it once a month with a 5 month old and a 5 year old, we consider ourselves blessed!! I some times get to read a magazine and I'm on here while holding our baby. I don't remember what it's like to bath or use the bathroom alone. I was 18 when my daughter was born, all I can remember is being a mom, I'm 23 now. I don't mind being just a mommy and a wife. When I'm not doing something for our children, I'm cleaning up after my dh. I don't remember what it's like doing anything for myself or someone helping me.
I not only think it's okay.. I feel that for most women it is a must. Having a life outside of being a mother helps women maintain their own self identity, helps them to keep a social network outside of immediate family, helps them to expand their thoughts and their horizons, helps them to keep grounded, helps them to keeps sight of what they would like to do for themselves/with themselves once their children are grown and gone.
As a woman who's child is grown and gone. I know the changes that happen in life between when your child(ren) is born and when they leave home. I have a couple of friends who did not maintain a life outside of their children. Now at this age, they are extremely lost. They are depressed, they feel useless, they feel like there's nothing left for them in their lives now that their children are gone. They also have lost their relationships with their husbands. They are still caught up in "momma mode" and just can't seem to get out of it. The two (very close) friends that I see experiencing this make my heart ache. In their late 40's and they feel life is just over for them. It saddens me.
ETA: I also feel it's extremely important for women to keep their interpersonal man-woman relationship going with their partner/spouse after children are born. This relationship needs to be nurtured, tended, and expanded even after children are born. It's not only important just for the sake of the relationship itself, but it also gives support for mom/dad in regards to raising the family, and it also helps keep that relationship strong and tight so that the relationship is still whole and in good shape once the kiddos are gone.
If you want one. I found I didn't have time.
Switch to Mobile Site
Getting Started Guide
Frequently Asked Questions
Part of the CafeMom family
© 2015 CMI Marketing, Inc. All rights reserved.
Already Joined? LOG IN