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Help! I think she is going to kill herself....

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I am really worried about my mother. She is showing all the signs of someone who is going to attempt suicide. Not only has she been depressed for a long time but now she is starting to talk about dividing up things between me and my sisters and just getting rid of the rest of her stuff. She also said she is going to move out of her sisters house and move into her mothers house because she is having problems with her sister and niece. She also stated that she will only be staying with her mother for one month and after that she is going to leave and just disappear. I know for a fact she has nowhere else to go. She has no job. My little sisters dh will not let her move with them, my older sister has no room due to her living with her bf, their daughter, and his parents, and for some reason she refuses to come and stay with Dh and I. I've tried to help her. I am always there for her when she needs someone to talk to or cry to. I call her everyday and me and Dd talk to her. But I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't think what I'm doing is enough. I'm starting to get really worried. I want to try to get her admitted somewhere even though she would hate me for awhile but it's the only thing I can think of. I just don't know how to do it. Has anyone been in this situation? Can anyone please help me? 

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 14, 2012 at 4:14 PM
Replies (31-37):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 14, 2012 at 5:18 PM
I don't want her to hate me. She would probably quit talking to me if she knew and I'm the only person she will tell when something is wrong :(

Quoting gabby416:

 I am not sure if you can do it anon or not.  You would probably have to  call your local police station or hospital to find that out.  I know it would suck to have her know it was you, but in the end, push come to shove that might just be how it has to end up.  


Quoting Anonymous:

She won't know it's me will she?


Quoting gabby416:


 you can 302 her.  That is where you can have her admitted to the psych ward, though chances are she would only be there for about 2-3 days and then can be released.  It's somewhere to start though. 


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 14, 2012 at 5:20 PM

I'm not sure. You'll probably have to look up involuntary civil commitment laws in your particular state.

Quoting Anonymous:

Will she know it's me that did it?

Quoting Anonymous:

You can file a medical inquest form if you are concerned she may be a danger to herself or others (in this case, herself). You'll have to look it up for your state, but I think generally an ambulance comes to get them and they're taken somewhere (hospital, mental facility, etc.) for evaluation. I think she might be held for 24-72 hours (depends on where you are) and at that point it's up in the air; if they feel she is suicidal they may just keep her... if they feel she needs help but not immediately they may try to get her to attend outpatient therapy, etc.


gabby416
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 5:22 PM

 I know sweety she will be mad at first.  I don't know what state you are in, but here in PA, this is how it works:

http://www.alleghenycounty.us/dhs/commitment.aspx

 

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't want her to hate me. She would probably quit talking to me if she knew and I'm the only person she will tell when something is wrong :(

Quoting gabby416:

 I am not sure if you can do it anon or not.  You would probably have to  call your local police station or hospital to find that out.  I know it would suck to have her know it was you, but in the end, push come to shove that might just be how it has to end up.  


Quoting Anonymous:

She won't know it's me will she?


Quoting gabby416:


 you can 302 her.  That is where you can have her admitted to the psych ward, though chances are she would only be there for about 2-3 days and then can be released.  It's somewhere to start though. 


 

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 14, 2012 at 5:24 PM
Thank you. I'll try to see if I can find it for my state. I'm in ga.

Quoting gabby416:

 I know sweety she will be mad at first.  I don't know what state you are in, but here in PA, this is how it works:


http://www.alleghenycounty.us/dhs/commitment.aspx


 


Quoting Anonymous:

I don't want her to hate me. She would probably quit talking to me if she knew and I'm the only person she will tell when something is wrong :(


Quoting gabby416:


 I am not sure if you can do it anon or not.  You would probably have to  call your local police station or hospital to find that out.  I know it would suck to have her know it was you, but in the end, push come to shove that might just be how it has to end up.  



Quoting Anonymous:

She won't know it's me will she?



Quoting gabby416:



 you can 302 her.  That is where you can have her admitted to the psych ward, though chances are she would only be there for about 2-3 days and then can be released.  It's somewhere to start though. 



 


 

4GEMS
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 5:39 PM
I have been through this before. My mother had manic depression for years & she actually tried to OD. Brother & I have gotten her committed several times mainly bc of strange behavior. We had to STRESS the fact the she was a danger to herself. When she tried to OD we had no clue. She's much better. Now she tells me when she's depressed. The fact that your mom is talking to you & kind of giving hints is usually a good thing, but watch her closely cause everyone's different. She may get angry if you get her committed but it'll be for her own good. My mom doesn't hold it against us & we get along great. I know it's tough. If you need to talk message me anytime. Hang in there!
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lancet98
by Platinum Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 5:40 PM

If you believe your mother actually has a plan to kill herself, you need to take a little bit more action than letting her know she's loved.   A pat on the back and a kind word isn't likely to fix a depression as serious as that.   You can get her into treatment and you can make a difference.

Depression is a disease, and it can be a fatal disease.   When it is not treated, people can die from it.   They kill themselves.   It really is that simple.

When a person has depression, you can pat them on the back and say the nicest, cheeriest thing in the world to them - they will still see everything through those dark glasses.   Depression makes people see everything as hopeless.  This isn't them deciding, 'oh I will be depressed today' - this is an illness that hits the brain and affects how people think.

I would recommend that you make an appointment with the mental health services department of your county government.   These services are often free or inexpensive/sliding scale.   Talk to them and tell them that you suspect your mother is suicidal and has an active plan.  See if you can get your mother to come in for an appointment.  She may have to be involuntarily committed to a hospital.

Has your mother shown signs of depression or giving away her belongings/not having a plan of where to stay after 4 weeks, before?   Anything like this come up before?   Has her doctor given her any medication that she may or may not be taking right now?  Has she ever been diagnosed with any mental disorder?   Sought mental health care before?

Keep in mind that some people say things that sound 'final' like this, because they are angry or upset about family issues, without having an actual suicidal plan.   But also keep in mind, that these words can very well be a danger signal of a person with an active plan for suicide.  You know her best and if you get that unpleasant feeling something is very wrong, it is very important to respect that feeling.

THere are several myths about suicide - 'people who talk about it don't do it', and 'people who make suicide gestures don't kill themselves', and 'people kill themselves solely because of bad things others have done to them', 'people who commit suicide aren't angry or agitated'  - these and many other myths about suicide exist - don't get pulled into these myths.   One of the biggest myths is that when a person starts  to be more active and seems more 'up' that 'they're better now, they won't hurt themselves'.   Often that is the time when the person finally has enough energy to do exactly that.

Suicide, in a vast majority of cases, over 95%, is about depression - untreated, undertreated or treatment hasn't yet started to take effect.  Depression is a disease of the brain.  Unhappy family events certainly don't help it to get better and can make a person feel really hopeless, but under that is depression - not the usual 'blues' most people experience, but the big bad Big D.   It is an illness, and it needs treatment.

gabby416
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 5:46 PM

 You may want to start by searching civil rights in GA, I tried just a quick google search.  Another route you might concider is seeing if you can get her into the doctors, once there or you can even call in before she goes, make them aware of her mental/emotional state of mind, they may order her to be observed, and/or they may medicate her.  Another thing I know is different from state to state, a legal adult can refuse the help or medication offered by a doctor or whomever. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you. I'll try to see if I can find it for my state. I'm in ga.

Quoting gabby416:

 I know sweety she will be mad at first.  I don't know what state you are in, but here in PA, this is how it works:


http://www.alleghenycounty.us/dhs/commitment.aspx


 


Quoting Anonymous:

I don't want her to hate me. She would probably quit talking to me if she knew and I'm the only person she will tell when something is wrong :(


Quoting gabby416:


 I am not sure if you can do it anon or not.  You would probably have to  call your local police station or hospital to find that out.  I know it would suck to have her know it was you, but in the end, push come to shove that might just be how it has to end up.  



Quoting Anonymous:

She won't know it's me will she?



Quoting gabby416:



 you can 302 her.  That is where you can have her admitted to the psych ward, though chances are she would only be there for about 2-3 days and then can be released.  It's somewhere to start though. 



 


 

 

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