Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

What do you think is harder? Stay at Home mom or Working (outside of home) mom?

Posted by   + Show Post

I have been both and both are hard 


by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 10:48 PM
Replies (41-50):
RunningMommaof2
by Kelly on Nov. 14, 2012 at 11:12 PM
I worked overnights full time and came home and was a sahm during the day. That was freaking hard.

Being a mom is hard no matter what you do.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
TattooedMomto4
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 11:12 PM

 Ya know what, being a mom in general is hard work. No matter if you earn a paycheck or not, it's always a test of strength to juggle family, time with your s/o, housework, laundry, etc. and somehow not losing yourself in the middle of it all. Every mom deserves a pat on the back if they don't put the kids in the fridge and the milk to bed after a crazy day!

briansmommy2010
by Ruby Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 11:13 PM
I think thats why I could NEVER be a full time SAHM, even if we could afford it. I would always feel the need to have at least a part time job, just to get some adult interaction.

Quoting Anonymous:

Being a SAHM (especially if it's because you can't afford to work - so you just stay home w/ kids... and don't have the $$ to go "out" every day w/ the kids) is very hard on one's sanity. 


Working gives mom a chance to be herself - have adult contact and the opportunity to look forward to coming home to the kids.  Staying home, mom doesn't ever get away from the kids, and can tire of it quickly. 


Just speaking from experience.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
MamaRae85
by *you're on Nov. 14, 2012 at 11:13 PM

They can both be hard, but personally, I find that working outside the home is harder. I love being a SAHM. lol

ProudArmySister
by Bronze Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 11:13 PM
I alternate between sahm, wahm, and working outside of home mom. I'm a photographer and run my own business so if I'm not out shooting I'm at home editing/marketing and taking care of my little guy. :) I think wahm is the hardest because you have to focus on what you're doing as well as chase after the toddler getting into the dog bowls!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
3.ang3ls
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 11:14 PM
Wow. Sounds really, really tough. I don't know how you do it. I would be pulling my hair out. Hang on there mama :)


Quoting KrissyKC:

I think it depends on the situation.

I MIGHT be an example of having it hard right now as a SAHM.   I've got 4.  I home school.  DH will MENTALLY support me, but he won't lift a finger..  Other than when we Christmas shop once a year, I don't get a break.  

My oldest has some issues that mimic being "on the spectrum"... I guess. 

My next oldest has impulse control and possible ADD.  

My third is really hard to say, because she's so busy bouncing off the walls and running in circles, yelling at the top of her lungs to get her to just stop and count past 6 objects before she gets goofy and starts just randomly poking objects and rambling off various numbers with her eyes rolling around in her head and her head flopping side to side... argh!!!

My almost 5 month old isn't hitting too many of his milestones.  He just can't seem to eat off a spoon.  He DEMANDS to nurse every hour and a half still...  he won't lay on his stomach without going hysterical and puking in whatever he is laying on and then choking on his own puke....

...

...

...

...on top of all of their issues, I really HEAVILY feel like I'm suffering from PPD... and I can't get help right now...  Christmas is tight enough without my racking up co-pays and therapy!

Oh, and I have no family... DH's family lives 5 hours away and his Mom isn't too great with the kids... My own family was an abusive hell hole growing up and they disowned us a few years ago.  They never saw my 4 yr old and don't know my 5 month old exists....

So.. yeah...

I think it's hard right now...  but "this too shall pass."   I just gotta wait and be faithful.




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
teri4lance
by Platinum Member on Nov. 14, 2012 at 11:14 PM
1 mom liked this

who gives a shit which people think is harder? 

since when did having a hard life earn you a prize anyway? 

When I was a sahm - I was FUCKING LUCKY. I don't have to convince anyone it was worthwhile, or defend it to anyone. I was lucky, my kids were lucky, and my dh was lucky. I don't give a SHIT if some bitter crone thinks it makes a woman lazy - that's ridiculous. I work now because we want to buy a new home this summer and we want some extra money in savings. If I didn't want to, I wouldn't. And it would be sweet. 

And it's not harder to work, because I just hired a housekeeper to scrub my toilets. We have less time, and I don't have as much freedom. But it's not harder. 

I'm not going to apologize or feel defensive because we have the resources to make our lives easier. Since when is success something to be embarrassed about? 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Nov. 14, 2012 at 11:16 PM

 i have been both, i was a sahm for 7 years and i am currently a working mom. they are both hard but i have to say that a being a sahm was the hardest. I will explain. the work wasn't actually hard  but when i was a sahm, i was expected to do everything, i mean everything, from mowing the grass to paying the bill and to top it off i had no adult contact, my phone and laptop was my lifeline, i didn't have any friends, my family live to far away so i held on to my phone for dear life. I couldn't wait for my husband to come home so i could have an adult to talk too.

I have a job now and what i do is really hard work and i bust my ass 6 days a week but i have adult to talk to, i fell like i have a life outside of the house , with that being said i don't think i ever  want to be a sahm again.

when you are a sahm, you hold many titles, to many to write down.I currently still do a lot of the other stuff i do because my husband is currently looking for work but i feel, i don't know more alive now that i have a life outside of my home. I love my children. But i don't think being a sahm was for me, some people are made for it while others are not and i guess i am one of the one who wasn 't made for it.

3.ang3ls
by on Nov. 14, 2012 at 11:24 PM
I work. I get up at 4am and get off work at 2pm. DH works evenings, so I rarely see him and have the kids, homework, dinner and housework almost completely to myself. I've learned to not be quite as picky about the house, because I just need to rest. However, I did recently have a little over a month off of work, and it was exhausting. Lol. Mainly because I was sick and let myself be really lazy. I felt like I couldn't keep up the house like I wanted to and I was constantly shuffling kids to and from school. Both SAHM and working moms have demanding schedules, no matter how you look at it.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Nov. 14, 2012 at 11:27 PM
It was much easier when I was a single working mom, even though I have no family here. Although I only worked 30 hours a week and could adjust my schedule to our needs, my job still entailed driving almost 450 miles a week visiting clients, we had a lot of school commitments, and I had to drive dd to her dad's an hour away twice a week. Still, it was just the two of us, and we had our routine.



Now, I'm a SAHM. Dd is 10, and dss 19 lives with us and works with dh. Dh and dss work long, hard hours. Usually they work out of state for two to three weeks at a time, but lately it's been within a 2-3 hour radius. Because of the hurricane, there are no hotel room available, so they have to leave at 5am and don't get home until 7-8. Soooo I get up at 4:30 to make them a hot breakfast and coffee, and make sure they come home to a hot meal, clean, orderly house and clean clothes. Meanwhile, I'm also taking dd to and from school/dad's, washing her clothes, helping with homework and projects, getting her dinner at an earlier time, taking her places, etc. Dh frequently calls me at lunch to take care of some issue or another. Even though I've been up since o'dark thirty and everyone was in bed at 9:30, it's 11:30 and I'm still up, having gotten everything ready for tomorrow and taking a few minutes to myself to chill. I tell ya, I'm fuckin' exhausted.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)