Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

DH and I have been fighting all morning.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 27 Replies

About money. It's stressful this time of year, and I always want to give the kids a decent Christmas (not buy out Toys R Us, but at least be able to give them each a few things). He's yelling at me for spending money for their birthday (both bdays between halloween and Christmas) when I'm the one who budgets for food, bills, and extra splurges. He forgets to pay bills, forgets to pay DD's lunch money, all that. I am the one who does all the grocery shopping, all the shopping for necessities such as his shampoo and shaving cream, kids' stuff, my stuff, household products. I don't spend on things I don't need. I'd LOVE a new pair of headphones, to go get my hair cut, some makeup, and I have only three pairs of jeans and all three are very loose because I never eat, so Im dropping weight. Yet, it's all MY fault because I spent $170 on the kids birthday party (that was BUDGETING, he wanted to do it at the indoor play area, which would've cost near $300 for the amount of people we had, booking fees, and cake, etc). He yells at me for wanting to spend a little extra money to take DD#1 to see the Nutcracker, yet he is fine with spending money on tickets for DD#2 to go see Rudolph at the puppet center with her school (her tickets are slightly cheaper than the nutcracker but close in price).

If he would pay the bills ON TIME, we wouldn't have late fees, which is extra money. If he would sit down and budget with me, we could save, and still be able to afford extra. If he would take his lunch to work with him instead of spending $10 a day on fast food or going to restaurants for lunch, he'd save a ton of money. He thinks he makes a shit ton of money (42000 a year) but he doesn't. We have more money than some, but we still need to budget, and still need to be able to purchase things we need, and be able to afford a little Christmas. He has made bad life choices in the past that has us in the financial position we're in, and continues to make poor choices, but blames me. 

So I'm the bad guy that has to tell the kids "sorry, no nutcracker" when DD has gotten her hopes up, and "sorry, no christmas". It sucks.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:25 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
owl0210
by Emerald Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:28 PM
1 mom liked this

 Do you work? You're right, 42k is not a shit ton of money.

MamaMay007
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:31 PM

I would tell them that daddy says no Christmas.  You don't need to be the bad guy.  Blame him.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:31 PM

No, I stay at home. We can afford for me to, if he'd just pay attention to what he's doing. I am, however, looking for a part time job, but it's difficult to find because of my avalability. 

Quoting owl0210:

 Do you work? You're right, 42k is not a shit ton of money.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:31 PM
I used to have these problems. I told him to leave. We needed counseling and if he wasn't going to have the partnership/marriage with me that he vowed, I would rather not be with him. It was a lack of respect on his part, and immaturity that he wanted to do whatever he wanted and myself and the kids have to sacrifice. Things are much better now! Have been for four years now. Good luck
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:32 PM

I am always suprised how much people spend on parties. $170 is a lot to me. I have free parties at home. Why not put that money toward Christmas instead!?

IndescribableMa
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:32 PM

Sounds like you need to have a serious talk with him about this.. exactly what you said here, say to him. It isn't right that you get blamed for everything. Your budgeting technique has obviously worked so far. He needs to realize exactly how much you are doing here. Have him explain to the kids why they can't go see the nutcracker, you shouldn't be expected to do it everytime. You are a team, he needs to start acting like it. And if he feels money is so tight then he shouldn't be spending at all either. I know this is frustrating, you've just got to talk it out with him and make him understand.

owl0210
by Emerald Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:35 PM

It sounds like you need to take control of the finances and pay the bills yourself.  

Quoting Anonymous:

No, I stay at home. We can afford for me to, if he'd just pay attention to what he's doing. I am, however, looking for a part time job, but it's difficult to find because of my avalability. 

Quoting owl0210:

 Do you work? You're right, 42k is not a shit ton of money.

 

 

BUFFIE.the.BODY
by Ruby Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:36 PM
1 mom liked this
Wow, I don't think it's a mans job to make sure the bills are paid. I think the wife, SO etc should do so bc MOST men are irresponsible. He should just give you the cash to handle all those things. Men are simple & I'd NEVER depend on DF to pay a bill on time or even @ all. Men aren't like females so you can't expect for him to act nore think like one
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:37 PM
Must be something in the air.. DH and I have also been fighting all morning. Good luck love. Things can only get better.. :)
BShip2010
by Gold Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:38 PM
Yikes. I hate late fees and not having money. Hopefully hr grows up a bit
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured