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S/O (he was late again, and I over-reacted) UPDATE IN PINK**

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 13 Replies

So I posted asking for advice on what to do about my BF who keeps flaking, and I keep getting upset

if you missed the post

long story, short

My BF is awful with time but timing is very crucial in order for us to spend time together

he gets off work at 6:30p I go to work at 6:30p so if we don't see each other on one of my days off we will not see each other at all

in the past couple months, since I have had this schedule and he has had his

He has flaked on me a number of times, from falling asleep.  He has flaked once where I came to his house, knocked on his door, called, and he never answered.  He fell asleep.  So after that I refuse to drive to his house at night becase it's a waste of time if he passes out on me.

He was supposed to meet me again at a certain time, fell asleep, I was waiting for an hour.  I got mad, sad, annoyed, kind of bitched and we argued.

Now after getting feedback earlier I came to the conclusion that I need to decide if I want to be alone or with someone.  And I very much want to be with him, but that shit is a headache to me.  So I told that if he can't be on time for me or at least give me a "heads-up I'm going to be late" text I am done seeing him because I don't have time to wait around for anyone who doesnt respect my time. 

So I was content with ending it, even though I am crying the whole time.

Then he replies saying "I thought seeing me would make you happy again"  as if his presence just makes everything better, it does in th moment, but the moment comes and goes. KWIM?

so then I said being with you does make me happy but you are too unreliable and I need consistency right now especially with my schedule.

Then he says he'll try harder

and now I don't know what to do...I just told him I had to think about things for a little bit. 


So I made the decision to let our relationship go.  Thinking logically, if he is doing this now, he is going to keep doing this later so I ended it with him.

Then he fucking basically begs me to give us more of a chance.  it's like, how many damn chances are there to give.  

He keeps saying to let us develop as a couple more, over and over, and I'm thinking, Dude, how the hell can we develop as a couple when I can't even trust for you to be there.  It has got to the point where I make double plans whenever we have plans.  Like I will make plans to go out with a friend if he says we are hanging out, just so I'm not stuck home moping about the crap.

He is still pretty much begging and my heart really wants to give in, but my head is like, Fuck this Bullshit, I have other things to do right now.  So I haven't even responded to him.  i still have to see him tonight to give him something, and I am thinking I will just give myself until then to really evaluate things.


What do you guys think?  Sorry if this is long, I am really bad at this relationship thing, I have always been the type who would rather be single just so people dont bother me, seriously!

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 15, 2012 at 5:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Liyoness
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 5:39 PM
Okay...?
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msjaxon
by Platinum Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 5:40 PM
Trying is not enough. Respecting my time is a huge issue of mine. If heb hasn't done it by now, he won't.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 5:42 PM
1 mom liked this
I'd give him two weeks, and if he flakes again during that time, we'd be done. I have no tolerance for immature bullshit.
brittany208
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 5:42 PM

I stand by the original advice i gave you in the other post. Tell him: you know when I'm available. Call/text/show up if you want, or don't. I'm not waiting around, but if you want to, I'll be here. If he really wants you, he will pursue you. If not, it will fizzle out. Don't spend all of your free time worrying about him until he is ready to spend his freetime worrying about you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 15, 2012 at 5:43 PM

That is my thinking

my girl friend tells me to tell him to just call ahead of time when he is going to be late, but it's like shit...I have already told him that the last 3-4 times this has happened. 

I care so much about him, and his daughter, and his family, but it's so disappointing KWIM?

I'm trying to see a reason to keep doing this with him, but when I think of how disrespectful this is I immediately just want to not deal with him. 

Quoting msjaxon:

Trying is not enough. Respecting my time is a huge issue of mine. If heb hasn't done it by now, he won't.


notjstasocermom
by Emerald Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 5:43 PM

he's just not that into you.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 15, 2012 at 5:44 PM

That shit is hella immature right?  

I was thinking of doing that, giving a timeframe, but I might even be past that point.

Quoting Melissa_4:

I'd give him two weeks, and if he flakes again during that time, we'd be done. I have no tolerance for immature bullshit.


msjaxon
by Platinum Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 7:02 PM
Exactly. In general we are on time for what is important to us... I bet he gets to work on time or calls if he is running late. I bet if his friends want to go out, he wakes up.

This early in a relationship he is taking her for granted, he doesnt care and will always be that way.


Quoting notjstasocermom:

he's just not that into you.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 15, 2012 at 7:17 PM

He does make it to most other things on time so that is also very telling.

He has it in his mind that him showing his face makes everything better.  Like he seriously told me, I thought when you saw me you'd be happy.  Haha  wtf?  that doesn't make a damn thing better.

Quoting msjaxon:

Exactly. In general we are on time for what is important to us... I bet he gets to work on time or calls if he is running late. I bet if his friends want to go out, he wakes up.

This early in a relationship he is taking her for granted, he doesnt care and will always be that way.


Quoting notjstasocermom:

he's just not that into you.


bear.katten
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 8:09 PM
I'd give him another chance and if he ditches you without a heads up again then you can dump him knowing you tried and you gave him the chance he begged for and he blew it yet again.
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