You wanted to know what the problem is and now you're pouting like a 2 year old.
I'm a sahm who cleans the bulk of the house duringvthe day. I don't mind. I cook dinner and generally clean up everyone's mess. That's fine. Then, after the kids are in bed, I clean up whatever mess has been made since they got home (not toys and stuff, just general traffic mess). While I do this, dh relaxes and then goes to bed. Again, no big deal.
This is what irritates me. I'm up 1-2 hours later and up an hour earlier than him. I'm tired and I don't want to have sex, sorry. So just go to bed with him and leave the mess til tomorrow? Ok, except that dh is more of a slob than the kids and it's just not sanitary to leave his food crap to get stuck to the coffee table or the diapers that he couldn't be bothered to take outside sitting on the couch. Maybe if he made an effort to help, I'd be more inclined to have sex.
Even that isn't entirely true. I could leave it if I really wanted to. My problem is more that I'm taken for granted. I honestly think he believes elves follow him around and make his mess disappear. I just don't have the desire to sleep with him when he can't appreciate at all what I do. You can think that's unfair of me, but it doesn't change the way I feel.
He was bugging me about it tonight, so I finally told him all of this. He just got all defensive and now he's pouting. Oh well. He wanted to know what my problem is and I was honest.