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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

It makes me sick to my stomach

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 43 Replies

So my husband hasn't slept with me in 4 months. I'm not sure why. We've tried everything. We've discussed it like adults, I've yelled, I've cried, I've tried to be extremely forward, very clear about what my needs are (translation: I hopped in the shower and tried to go down on him-something I dispise doing, and he said "sorry... not today". And then I told him "I really need to be with you. I need to have sex. It's hurtful that you don't want to be with me." clear and forward. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to sleep with you.)

I don't know what else to do. I asked him to go to the doctor about it. Maybe it's depression, or a physical problem, or a side-effect of his daily medication. I'm not sure. But it just sucks. He won't go to the docs.

My sister just turned 21 and I took her out for her birthday. We went to Denver overnight and she had about 6 friends come up. It was really fun. I dressed up, we went dancing. Nothing happened that DH would have been upset about, but I started noticing other men while I was there. I felt sexy and attractive, and guys noticed me too. It was amazing to feel sexy and hott again.

I think the lack of sex is changing my thought patterns. I didn't used to CARE what other men saw. I had a hott husband at home who satisfied me. Now, I care.

I'm not saying it means I'm trolling for sex now. I'm not going to cheat. I don't want empty, stupid sex. I want to be with my husband.

I just don't know what to do.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 16, 2012 at 2:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
NBean311
by Chivette on Nov. 16, 2012 at 2:19 PM
2 moms liked this

I'm so sorry. This is hard. Have you tried doing intimate non-sexual things? Maybe giving each other massages and then easing into it? Maybe the touch would spark something in him? I wish I had better suggestions. 

evelynolivesmom
by Gold Member on Nov. 16, 2012 at 2:24 PM
2 moms liked this

 I don't want to come off as snarky, but if he said no to a bj, there has to be a bigger problem, kwim?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 16, 2012 at 2:31 PM
Ya. I tried sending the kids to moms, having a nice dinner, movie, cuddling on the couch...then let him make the moves, but he didn't. So i started kissing him and he closed his mouth so we could "peck", but wouldn't even use tongue. I asked him why he didn't wanna make out and he said he "didn't want to get my hopes up" about sex later.

I tried to tell him i just wanted to be with him... didn't have to be sex, but he kept blocking me.


Quoting NBean311:

I'm so sorry. This is hard. Have you tried doing intimate non-sexual things? Maybe giving each other massages and then easing into it? Maybe the touch would spark something in him? I wish I had better suggestions. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 16, 2012 at 2:35 PM
I think so too! Esp bc thats the "no way in hell" zone for me. I just don't do it. And i did it to try to show him i wanted to meet his needs too, not just mine. I'm not sure if he masturbates when i'm not around, but as far as i know he isn't getting any kind of action at all, and he doesn't want it.

I want to fix it but our sex life has been waning for about 2-3 years. And now we're down to nothing. He's thirty. This isn't normal!


Quoting evelynolivesmom:

 I don't want to come off as snarky, but if he said no to a bj, there has to be a bigger problem, kwim?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 16, 2012 at 2:37 PM
It sounds like something is going on. Do you think he has cheated? Or is cheating?
tinkerbelle18
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 2:40 PM

Sorry you're going through this, hon. I don't have any advice but here's a bump for your post and a hug for you. Hopefully you can figure things out soon.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 16, 2012 at 2:43 PM
I don't think so. He goes to school and comes home. He doesn't ever go out, doesn't really have anyone to go out with. I tried introducing him to my friends' husbands/boyfriends and he likes them but doesn't make an effort to maintain friendships. Hes always at home unless he's at school. I don't see him having opportunity.

But i've def considered it bc he cheated on me when we were dating. 9 years ago. So my mind always goes there first. But logically i just don't see him having a chance to cheat. He doesn't DO anything!


Quoting Anonymous:

It sounds like something is going on. Do you think he has cheated? Or is cheating?

HunternChase
by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 2:44 PM
Sorry!! I'm no help..
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 16, 2012 at 2:51 PM
I wasn't meaning he was. It's odd he want even really kiss you. I just don't know what to tell you. Does he work? Maybe he's stressed out over work and/or school. Usually the 1st thing to go is sex when men get stressed.


Quoting Anonymous:

I don't think so. He goes to school and comes home. He doesn't ever go out, doesn't really have anyone to go out with. I tried introducing him to my friends' husbands/boyfriends and he likes them but doesn't make an effort to maintain friendships. Hes always at home unless he's at school. I don't see him having opportunity.



But i've def considered it bc he cheated on me when we were dating. 9 years ago. So my mind always goes there first. But logically i just don't see him having a chance to cheat. He doesn't DO anything!




Quoting Anonymous:

It sounds like something is going on. Do you think he has cheated? Or is cheating?


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 16, 2012 at 2:57 PM
He doesn't work...just school full time. He retired from the military with 90% disability so he still provides the bulk of our income.

Its strange bc he is still very loving and attentive in other ways. Very thoughtful and considerate, loves the snot out of our kids, does his part around the house... but he won't sleep with me.


Quoting Anonymous:

I wasn't meaning he was. It's odd he want even really kiss you. I just don't know what to tell you. Does he work? Maybe he's stressed out over work and/or school. Usually the 1st thing to go is sex when men get stressed.




Quoting Anonymous:

I don't think so. He goes to school and comes home. He doesn't ever go out, doesn't really have anyone to go out with. I tried introducing him to my friends' husbands/boyfriends and he likes them but doesn't make an effort to maintain friendships. Hes always at home unless he's at school. I don't see him having opportunity.





But i've def considered it bc he cheated on me when we were dating. 9 years ago. So my mind always goes there first. But logically i just don't see him having a chance to cheat. He doesn't DO anything!






Quoting Anonymous:

It sounds like something is going on. Do you think he has cheated? Or is cheating?



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