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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

BIO DAD you got your 2nd chance and your blowing it, surprise surprise

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Recently my dd has been having contact with her bio family. she is 6 and we just really told her about her bio dad. Her bio dad and i have spoke a few times and he swore up and down he would be there as dd friend and work towards getting to know her and build their relationship. That its his fault that he doesn't know his dd and begged for a chance to know her. Ok dh and i talked decided (we did years ago as well) if her bio dad wants a shot, we would give him one. Her grandma even called her once weeks ago. And dd was pumped. Well the only communication I have received from them since that phone call over a month ago is an email saying that dd grandmas mom had passed away and they would get back to her eventually. Its been 2 weeks now. Nothing. Dd was suppose to meet them in December for the first time and was so excited now she doesn't want to meet them in fear they wont like her. I tell her over and over again how much they love her, but my words don't mean anything she wants to hear them from them. I get the whole grieving process and have been through it a lot but what i don't get is why ignore the granddaughter you have complained about not knowing and even bitched the mom out because "she cause so much pain"? I just want to scream look lady i understand you are hurting but ignoring my dd isn't helping her to adjust, in fact its making it harder for dd who wants nothing more than to be accepted by her family. AHHHHHH how do I explain this to a 6 year old... they want to be in your life but only when its convenient for them isn't the best explanation. But I want to be honest with her. Or do I email them demanding they pick what they want and stick with it or stay out of dd life? maybe all i need is other input.
I may have missed something i just needed to get this out. I already told her bio dad if he hurts her that's it, he wont see or speak to her until she is old enough to find him herself and he can then explain to her why he wasn't around.
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by on Nov. 16, 2012 at 3:55 PM
Replies (11-14):
Barronbaby
by Brandi on Nov. 16, 2012 at 8:26 PM
1 mom liked this
i hope it works out too with her bio dad, because thats what dd wants. she may be only 6 but she is old enough to know what she wants. Thanks its going to be a long road but i will do everything in my power to keep her from being hurt. she doesnt deserve that

Quoting JamminOutMama:

Well I'm glad she has a good mom and dad in her life already!hope it works out in the end with her bio dad but its one of those things that can take time to tell whAt will really happen with that. Good luck to you and your dd!


Quoting Barronbaby:

i stopped relaying messages until i know for sure... she cannot get hurt, its not her fault they are morons. maybe its mine for telling her the truth. all i know is she is my world and i hate seeing her hurt



Quoting JamminOutMama:

Aww that's a mess. Poor dd. I'd just see what they really want to do and not tell dd about it until its happening for real I guess... Not sure what to do really that's a tough situation for your dd


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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 16, 2012 at 8:55 PM
I'm confused on why you would talk to her about it any way if you know how these people are. Have some tact.
Barronbaby
by Brandi on Nov. 16, 2012 at 8:59 PM
Because she asked... what was i suppose to do straight up lie to her? tell her ask me in a few years? she has been asking about her grandma for a few years now. they send her gifts 3-8 times a year and we always give them to her. it was only a matter of time before she would ask questions and want to contact them. it is her right to do so as well

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm confused on why you would talk to her about it any way if you know how these people are. Have some tact.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 16, 2012 at 10:25 PM
I feel your pain My oldest has a different father.
I'm in Michigan and they would not let us terminate his rights because he paid child support once a year, while he was in jail on work release for back support.
Technically that one check I got every year or two while in jail was contact.

We went to court because he got disablity and actually tried fighting for full custody after not seeing him for 6 years. (since he didn't have to run from c.s. warrents)
We agreed he could have visits but at first they had to be at my sons therapists. Then we would work up. He showed up once and then I guess he didn't like that my son said umm so where have you been for 6 years.

Honestly I wouldn't tell her about anything any more unless you know 100% It's actually going to happen. Poor girl.
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