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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

How can people justify taking PA...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

when they smoke?

I can't fathom asking for help with my finances if I was burning up hundreds or thousands of dollars a year in cigarettes. How you can claim the only way to feed your kids is for someone else to give them food when you smoke a pack a day or more?

I work with kids living in poverty and just about every single parent asking for help smells like a damn chimney. When I got to houses I see recycle cans and trash cans full of beer cans and liquor bottles. But these kids believe their parents don't have cash to buy them food or clothes. It's such a vicious cycle. 

Edit: For the record, I don't understand how anyone can justify spending money on cigarettes. But the when people don't cut out these things in a financial crisis it sends their children the wrong message about wants vs. needs. It perpetuates the cycle of poverty that is damaging communities all over this country. 

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 16, 2012 at 5:54 PM
Replies (261-268):
minecraftzombie
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 11:51 PM

 Yep, like my inlaws... they say they NEED cigs more than food.

jen2150
by Platinum Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 8:23 AM
1 mom liked this

Getting upset does not do any good.  Start voting for leaders that are going to cut spending.  Maybe start some support groups for smokers if you are so concerned.  I am more concerned about their health than how they are using their food stamps.  You will reap a lot more good by finding ways to help them rather criticizing them.   

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting jen2150:

I have never smoked or have been addicted to any substance but I also know the addiction is very overpowering.  It is not something you can just stop doing.  It can also be dangerous to quit cold turkey for some people.  Quitting smoking can take a long time.   If someone needs help I will try and help them.  I will also encourage them to help themselves as well.  I don't usually concern myself with their bad smoking habits.

I understand that quitting can take time. But I'm talking about people that have been on assistance for years. 

I don't usually don't concern myself with other people's habits either. But when I am bringing them food and it's right there in my face it makes it hard not to be upset. 


MdMom289
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 8:24 AM

I agree.

0Kit0
by Silver Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 8:27 AM
People find a way to justify anything, but you know this already, so what is the point of your question?
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 18, 2012 at 8:30 AM

i spend all day helping them. It's my job. I do a whole lot more than most people. 

All the time I've spent has made it very clear that there a horrible cycle of poverty that needs to be broken. 

A few of the replies in this post from moms in this position have helped me understand their thinking better. This post isn't about criticising, it's about understanding. 

Quoting jen2150:

Getting upset does not do any good.  Start voting for leaders that are going to cut spending.  Maybe start some support groups for smokers if you are so concerned.  I am more concerned about their health than how they are using their food stamps.  You will reap a lot more good by finding ways to help them rather criticizing them.   

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting jen2150:

I have never smoked or have been addicted to any substance but I also know the addiction is very overpowering.  It is not something you can just stop doing.  It can also be dangerous to quit cold turkey for some people.  Quitting smoking can take a long time.   If someone needs help I will try and help them.  I will also encourage them to help themselves as well.  I don't usually concern myself with their bad smoking habits.

I understand that quitting can take time. But I'm talking about people that have been on assistance for years. 

I don't usually don't concern myself with other people's habits either. But when I am bringing them food and it's right there in my face it makes it hard not to be upset. 



Survivor6388
by Bronze Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 4:57 PM

 Thanks. I just grew up knowing how I DIDN'T want to live my life. I want my kids to experience an easier childhood than I did. I had a general idea of how to get out I just needed some help with the details. Once I got that I was on my way.

Quoting AubreeGrace17:

It sounds like you are doing an awesome job! I think it's great you are working hard to better yourself and your family. In all actuality, I don't think PA is a bad thing. It just really depends on the person's circumstances. I think that there are a lot of people on it who are in a rough patch or who are trying to better themselves. 

Quoting Survivor6388:

 This or they have 13 kids they can't support like my parents, then 12 of those kids grow up to be the same way.

I am the only one not on drugs, not on any form of assistance, I actually HAVE custody of my kids, I am in school full time, work, and my husband works. I am also the only one married. I make straight As because I will never live in poverty again without knowing I've done everything humanly possible to get out of it, and I will never let my kids know what that was like without knowing that I've done what I can to break that cycle.

My grandparents did it as did my parents and my siblings. I had to look for the opportunities I've taken but at 24 I'm breaking that cycle.

Quoting AubreeGrace17:

That's so pathetic and sad. Poverty is a cycle, like you said, and most people don't know how to end it. They simply grow up thinking that way and never get ahead. Some do, and they are that much stronger for it. 

 


 

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 54 on Nov. 18, 2012 at 5:08 PM

I am on PA. Working on finding a job now. So my husband and I can both work to support our kids. Neither of us smoke. My husband use to chew tobacco until we had our first kid. Then his dip money went towards food and diapers.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 55 on Dec. 7, 2012 at 10:37 AM

 So true.  My husband is a doctor and he sees little kids over and over for the same crap because the parents are too cheap to pay a $2 copay for the medicine he presribes.  Yet of course they ALWAYS, without FAIL, smell like chimneys.  Sickening.

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