1. Abe Lincoln was shot?!
2. I could watch toilet water for days.
3. I CAN'T DRAW A STRAIGHT CIRCLE!!
4. Te Amo Dos
5. Will they stay dead long?
6. Mexico's connected?!
7. That is why we don't play in concentration camps!!!
8. Pearl Harbor ISN'T in New York?!
9. Sometimes I pretend I'm drowning.
10. When is cinco de mayo?
11. Apparently everyone slept last night.
12. If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie? (Valid question)
13. They killed Jesus and he was a likable guy.
14. I gotta see what's wrong with my tire it's leaking air.
I shit you not these were really said!!