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Moms, Why dont (some) of you have custody of your kids? ETA

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

How could you give them up so easily?


ETA: I'm being asked why this is directed toward women. Well lets see, men aren't allowed on this website and women are the ones that carry their babies in their wombs and give birth. Women will always have a deeper connection than a Father no matter what. Its the truth. 

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 17, 2012 at 9:48 AM
Replies (31-40):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 13 on Nov. 17, 2012 at 10:38 AM
Uh, I don't carry the monopoly to caring in my uterus. My DH cares just as much as I do for our kids.

Quoting Anonymous:

Because this isn't Cafedad and I cant ask them. Also men don't carry babies and give birth to their kids. There's an entirely different connection to a mother whether people want to admit it or not.



Quoting LoriLou75:

OP.....Why not such harsh judgement of fathers without custody of their children?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 17, 2012 at 10:39 AM

I never said you did, this is a mom site. I was asked why I didn't pose this to men and well duh, men aren't allowed on this website.

Quoting Anonymous:

Uh, I don't carry the monopoly to caring in my uterus. My DH cares just as much as I do for our kids.

Quoting Anonymous:

Because this isn't Cafedad and I cant ask them. Also men don't carry babies and give birth to their kids. There's an entirely different connection to a mother whether people want to admit it or not.



Quoting LoriLou75:

OP.....Why not such harsh judgement of fathers without custody of their children?


sandra_t00
by ChaChi on Nov. 17, 2012 at 10:39 AM
Who told you they gave up so easily or that it is easy?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 14 on Nov. 17, 2012 at 10:39 AM
I wish i knew. My sister is in a fucked up situation with hers. She could have easily gotten them back if she followed the judges order. Get a job, a place to live, and a car. 3 years later shws got none of it and isnt really trying but wants people to feel sorry for her.
Wifeyy2Lette
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 10:41 AM
I don't understand it. My sister doesn't have or see her oldest son and it's like it doesn't phase her.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 15 on Nov. 17, 2012 at 11:06 AM

DH has custody of SD. It wasn't always like that but when we felt that SD was not being cared for emotionally or physically by BM we took her back to court and won. I'm not sure she really cares too much except for the loss of child support she was getting and the loss of state benefits by not being able to claim SD as a member of her household, plus the fact that she is supposed to pay child support now. And yes, we had professionals testify on our behalf that interacted with SD every day and noticed the differences between the households and the failure of SD to thrive in her situation, neither DH nor I lied on the stand to take custody away from a "perfectly good BM" out of spite. It wasn't a win based on he said/she said and whose story the judge believed. If she hadn't acted like she did, and didn't continue to act the way she does, she would still have custody and DH would be fine with it.

I'm not sure the OP meant it as judgemental towards BMs who don't have custody. There are so many factors that could cause a BM to give up custody and I can see the honest curiosity as to why. I am seriously curious as to why my SD's BM behaves the way she does and what goes through her head, because I could never understand acting the way she has towards her kids and treating them the way she does. My kids are my life, I would be devestated without them and I would fight till the ends of the earth for them. I can think of a couple reasons why I would give up custody of them though, and none would be easy.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 16 on Nov. 17, 2012 at 11:07 AM

Just because they don't have custody, doesn't mean they gave them up 'easily'....

Anonymous
by Anonymous 17 on Nov. 17, 2012 at 11:08 AM
Piss poor excuses.


Quoting Anonymous:

It wasn't that easy.....my oldest is a huge daddy's boy and the school system here isn't the greatest and he wanted to go live with daddy so he could stay in hockey and all that..he comes home a lot...he's only 40 miles away.

My 7 year old at the time I couldn't take care of him and he was very sick and my living arrangements wasn't the greatest and he was just a baby so I let him go stay with his dads.....his dad and I decided that it would be best if he stayed there, plus he's a daddy's boy and he has his school and friends there and I didn't think it was the best interest to pull him away from that. 



Anonymous
by Anonymous 18 on Nov. 17, 2012 at 11:09 AM
In my SO's baby momma's case it was because she would rather whore and be homeless so she could fuck whomever she wanted at any given time than be a mother. I don't get how any mom could not have custody, I will do whatever it takes to keep my kids.
ashleyrenee24
by 2ne1 on Nov. 17, 2012 at 11:17 AM

Like a million times.

Quoting LoriLou75:

Its not cafedad is a lame excuse. You hold mothers to a higher standard. Just because women carry pregnancies doesn't automatically make them more responsible for born children. Men should be held to the same standard.

Quoting Anonymous:

Because this isn't Cafedad and I cant ask them. Also men don't carry babies and give birth to their kids. There's an entirely different connection to a mother whether people want to admit it or not.



Quoting LoriLou75:

OP.....Why not such harsh judgement of fathers without custody of their children?


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