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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

We had a GOOD talk about his WEIGHT! long, with no real point!

Posted by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 1:01 PM
  • 5 Replies

 DH has put on about 140lbs in the bast 6 years... well really he put it all on about in 3 years and he's just beem at 310-320 since.... hes bounced between a few diets, lost some weight and put it back on.....

 i've aways tried to be supportive of him, let him  know that i'm simply worried about his health, and i worked very hard to keep his diets going until he caves and starts eating fast food every day at work, where i have no control over his eating.....

 a couple weeks ago i noticed he had put on  some more weight.....and i was terrified  of saying anything because it's not weight you can see while he's dressed, but weight that i can feel durring sex...... this extra bit of weight made sex more difficult, and and honestly it was kinda awkward....

 i'm sorry for being grafic, but there was an extra "fold" "down there"........

 so night before last he was trying to put on the moves, and i just couldn't get into it! so after he realized i wasn't going for it, we started talking, and it let into the details of THAT particular extra weight gain, he was embarrassed, and i told him, i was just worried about his health, and that extra weight gain wasn't so much a turn off for me because of the weight but because it was just another major sign that he wasnt losing the weight, it was just getting worse, and with his grandma just being diagnosed with diabetis..... well it scared me, and now every time we go to have sex my mind wont be on sex, it'll be on his health, and the fear that he may not be around a long as want him to be!!!!

 we were both pretty down after the talk

 but i think it made a huge diffierence in how he thinks of his weight..... yesterday he went and picked up an exercize bike and a weight bench, and this morning first thing when i  got up i stretched out  and hopped on the bike, when he saw me exercizing he got out of bed, stretched out and got on the weight bench, then we switched

 we both feel fantastic right now after our morning workout.....

 i just really hope we can keep it up!!! every morning i plan to get up and start this routine and hopefully he follows suit.........

 and he realizes the diets aren't gonna work, he just needs to cut back portion sizes and NO MORE fast food! but exercize is gonna be the big thing, with every diet hes done, he didn't exercize......

 so i guess thats the end of my little "let it out there" post!

 maybe wish us luck on our journey to health????


attack

by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 1:01 PM
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Replies (1-5):
itsm3
by Platinum Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 2:37 PM

weight loss is actually more about what you eat than exercise; it accounts for 80% of weight loss!  once you eat clean and healthy regularly, eat within your caloric target for weight loss, the weight will literally drop off him i kid you not!

he must eat plenty of protein (helps keep him full longer), fresh, wholesome foods, lots of fresh veggies and moderate amounts of fruit.  plenty of water daily.  cut out all white, starchy carbs and switch to healthy alternatives like quinoa and sweet potatoes. switch to healthy fats like fish oil (fish), avocados, nuts.   i eat a ratio of 40% protein, 30% fat, 30%, 30% carbs.

exercise reguarly, also incorporate weight training to build lean muscle mass because it helps torch cals while at rest.  eat 5 small, healthy meals a day to keep the metabolism going and sugar levels stable otherwise sugar crashes encourage binge eating.

good luck!  if you have any questions, let me know!

emandab
by Gold Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 2:42 PM
Good luck to both of you!
RazzleMySpazz
by spaztastic on Nov. 17, 2012 at 4:36 PM

 i cook very well rounded foods, lots of freshveggies.... we have a lot of improvements to make, i know,  he just rarely eats all of what i give him and goes for seconds and thrids of what he will eat... like the meats and pastas, but not the veggies..... me and the kids  eat lots of nice meals like dinner for us tonight will be fish, broccoli, and rice.. but he wont eat any of that so on the same night normally he would eat steak and potatoes drenched in mayo, ketchup, and mustard.....

 the diets he tried didn't work because he was either over eating on healthier foods and drenching them in condements, or he was cheating on the side and getting fast food.. or he  would do great and last a month or two and then just quit.....

 he needs to learn how to eat again... if that makes sense...

 but even when he was dieting, he'd exercize the first day or two,  and then NOTHING! he'd go to work, comehome, sit on the computer.... thats it......

 so we're working on it all, an all around change... and hopefully all of the work in exercize will help him see that eating 3/4 a box of hamburger helper for dinner is just like wasting that hour we spent working out in the morning...

and thankyou for all of the tips!!! really!! :)

Quoting itsm3:

weight loss is actually more about what you eat than exercise; it accounts for 80% of weight loss!  once you eat clean and healthy regularly, eat within your caloric target for weight loss, the weight will literally drop off him i kid you not!

he must eat plenty of protein (helps keep him full longer), fresh, wholesome foods, lots of fresh veggies and moderate amounts of fruit.  plenty of water daily.  cut out all white, starchy carbs and switch to healthy alternatives like quinoa and sweet potatoes. switch to healthy fats like fish oil (fish), avocados, nuts.   i eat a ratio of 40% protein, 30% fat, 30%, 30% carbs.

exercise reguarly, also incorporate weight training to build lean muscle mass because it helps torch cals while at rest.  eat 5 small, healthy meals a day to keep the metabolism going and sugar levels stable otherwise sugar crashes encourage binge eating.

good luck!  if you have any questions, let me know!

 


attack

702girly
by Gold Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 4:39 PM

It's awesome that you guys talked about it.

I really think the biggest problem many people have when it comes to losing weight is being too sensitive about it. If more people could say, "ok, this is an issue and I'm just going to face it and deal with it and realize it has nothing to do with my worth as a person" I truly believe more people could reach and maintain healthy weights.

Good for both of you and good luck.

itsm3
by Platinum Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 7:26 PM

there is definitely a learning curve and he has you to support him which is wonderful.  once he learns how to eat properly, it'll be second nature.  it's ok to eat steak, just reduce the portion and cut out the condiments as those can add up fast. 

go here to find out his caloric intake for weight loss. losing weight isn't about eating less, it's about eating RIGHT; the right amount of food for your age, height, weight, and current exercise level.  when you go to that linnk, read every word and click on every link (there are about 2 or 3 links you have to click to get to your final calculation).  once he knows his target for weight loss, he can start tracking his food intake using myfitnesspal or sparkpeople. both of these apps are amazing -- it's so easy because the database is huge.  this will allow him to be accountable of what he eats and helps him understand how much and what he's eating.  when you actually see it in writing (in his food log), it's much easier to know how to control it and tweak it to his advantage.

it's a long slow process; there will be times that he will want to quit but tell him that it takes humans an average of 4wks to form a habit.  this means doing something consistently for 4wks straight and after that, it won't even feel like "effort" anymore; it'll just be something that's part of his daily routine and it'll feel weird if he DOESN'T do it (eat right/exercise). 

i started on january 1. it was SO HARD for me to cut out all the bad stuff and start exercising but i did it and now i can't stop!  i really don't know how i lived without eating right or exericsing because i feel so amazing and have amazing results.  it's a lifestyle change and change takes time.   he's lucky to have someone like you in his corner.  good on you, mama and good luck to him!

Quoting RazzleMySpazz:

 i cook very well rounded foods, lots of freshveggies.... we have a lot of improvements to make, i know,  he just rarely eats all of what i give him and goes for seconds and thrids of what he will eat... like the meats and pastas, but not the veggies..... me and the kids  eat lots of nice meals like dinner for us tonight will be fish, broccoli, and rice.. but he wont eat any of that so on the same night normally he would eat steak and potatoes drenched in mayo, ketchup, and mustard.....

 the diets he tried didn't work because he was either over eating on healthier foods and drenching them in condements, or he was cheating on the side and getting fast food.. or he  would do great and last a month or two and then just quit.....

 he needs to learn how to eat again... if that makes sense...

 but even when he was dieting, he'd exercize the first day or two,  and then NOTHING! he'd go to work, comehome, sit on the computer.... thats it......

 so we're working on it all, an all around change... and hopefully all of the work in exercize will help him see that eating 3/4 a box of hamburger helper for dinner is just like wasting that hour we spent working out in the morning...

and thankyou for all of the tips!!! really!! :)

Quoting itsm3:

weight loss is actually more about what you eat than exercise; it accounts for 80% of weight loss!  once you eat clean and healthy regularly, eat within your caloric target for weight loss, the weight will literally drop off him i kid you not!

he must eat plenty of protein (helps keep him full longer), fresh, wholesome foods, lots of fresh veggies and moderate amounts of fruit.  plenty of water daily.  cut out all white, starchy carbs and switch to healthy alternatives like quinoa and sweet potatoes. switch to healthy fats like fish oil (fish), avocados, nuts.   i eat a ratio of 40% protein, 30% fat, 30%, 30% carbs.

exercise reguarly, also incorporate weight training to build lean muscle mass because it helps torch cals while at rest.  eat 5 small, healthy meals a day to keep the metabolism going and sugar levels stable otherwise sugar crashes encourage binge eating.

good luck!  if you have any questions, let me know!

 


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