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!!!!!!!!NEW UPDATE!!!!!!!!Just caught my 13 year old DD ..... EDIT info added!!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Having sex in her bedroom :(

FML!!!!!!


** Long story short - Today is the Holiday Parade. At the last minute our 13 DD decided that she didn't want to go, said the parade is LAME. Okay I get it, to most 13 year old hanging out with your parents & younger siblings isn't necessarily cool - so we let her stay home. We leave for the parade & I realize that I forget the blankets so I make my way home (mind you we only have been gone about 20 mins) & the 1st thing I notice is DD isn't in the living room were we left her. She has music blasting from her room, so I went up the stairs just to let her know that I was there & I was leaving again. I opened the door & found her & a boy stark naked.  Before I could grab the boy he swooped up his clothes and ran out of my house like a bat outta hell (still naked)!! I called the boys parents since I knew who he was. So now DD is in her room crying, I'm sitting at the computer crying & just waiting for DH & kids to return from parade. I told him there was an issue at the house & that I was going to stay home -- I told him to enjoy the parade & catch a ride home with his sister (I didn't want to tell him over the phone about the horror I just saw) I dont know what to do - Im numb - Im truly beside myself. angrycryingthrowing upsad



UPDATE::

Wow I didn't realize this post would have this many responses. First I would like to say thank you to the many of you who offered support. For those of you who had negative comments (I get it - it's easy to judge & throw stones at a situation from the outside) you don't live in our shoes so your words have no effect on our lives.  

Im glad I had time to calm down & process my feelings/emotions before DH came home. Although still hurt, confused, upset etc over the situation, I had more of a handle over it & I was going to need a level & calm head while telling DH. When they got home from the parade, I sent the younger kids over to my parents house (across the street) & asked DH to join me on sofa so we could talk. He looked worried, I couldn't keep it in any longer so I just told him. Honestly the worst part wasn't telling him - it was watching his face change from almost confused to anger to sadness as I told him. He actually cried & left to the garage to gather himself together (my hubby is a real tough kind of guy so to see him cry just broke my heart) I gave him a few moments alone - then I joined him in the garage. There we sat for about an hour discussing what our next steps would be with DD. After we were done I called DD downstairs so we could all talk. At first DH couldn't even look at her - she couldn't look at him either. After a few moments talking, she broke down crying and ran to her daddy's arms, apologizing for breaking our trust & making a mistake. He cried again, I cried - it was a big emotional mess. 
Once we calmed down a bit - we sat her down and told her what the next steps would be. She will be going to the OBGYN this week, she will be tested for  stds & will be put on bc (some of you have said don't put her on bc because it's basically telling her to go have sex - honestly IDC what your thoughts are - this is our family it's our decision) she will be getting the DEPO shot. Someone suggested having her research & write about STDS :: I thought this was a great idea and she will be doing this as well.  We want her to know that having sex comes with great responsibility, a responsibility we feel she isn't prepared for. I asked her if this was her 1st time having sex - she said it was.... Do I WANT to believe her: YES  Do I believe her: NO :(
The boys parents have been called and apologized for their sons part & have assured us they will be dealing with their son, not to worry. 
On top of it all she is grounded - for a long time. She will also be volunteering at the children's hospital after school from now through the end of the holiday season. 
Although our family has had a very hectic & emotional weekend - we are still a strong, solid, supportive, loving & forgiving family. We will always be here for our kiddies. No matter if their actions hurt, anger or disappointment us, we will never turn our backs on lovebugs. 
Again thanks to all who offered encouraging and positive words - they were truly appreciated. 
I hope all of you have a wonderful & blessed upcoming holiday season

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 17, 2012 at 1:53 PM
Replies (291-300):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 52 on Nov. 17, 2012 at 6:00 PM

If she were my kid, I'd ground her ass until she went off to college.  She would be under my thumb 24/7.  She would not be able to breathe or even poop without me knowing where she was.  She would lose her bedroom door and the window would be nailed shut.   I'd also take her to my gyn for a pelvic exam and a lecture on teen pregnancy.  

darkwhisper
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 6:02 PM
2 moms liked this

Have the two of you talked? I don't think yelling and punishing are called for. She has just been majorly humiliated. That in itself is punishment eough. Just talk to her, make sure she understands the consequenses of her actions and tell her just to be honest and open with you about sex and feeling ready to be active. let us know how it goes.

lissetteP
by Silver Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 6:02 PM
1 mom liked this
Helllooo can't u fuckin read...she said she had been gone for 20 minutes


Quoting Anonymous:

And how did a boy get into your house and her room without you noticing? Sounds like a fail on your part.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 12 on Nov. 17, 2012 at 6:09 PM
I had mirena at 16 no child no issues


Quoting DEJavu17:

Mirena is only for women that have had children. And I would NEVER recommend mirena for a child.



Quoting Anonymous:

Depo should never be recommend for a young girl, maybe a iud would be better since mirena stays in for 5 years. . . Honesty Depo is really bad I recommends the talk and mirena :D






Quoting AubreeGrace17:

Time for a sex talk. Make sure she gets on a reliable form of birth control...like the depo. You can't expect her to remember to take the pill. 



AtillaTheHun
by facta, non verba on Nov. 17, 2012 at 6:10 PM

WTF right back at you. She said where she was. Obviously, the boy was not in the house when OP left with the rest of her family. 

Quoting anyotherday:

WTF? How did that happen? Where the hell were you? How did you not know there was a boy in her room?


sophiesister2
by Gold Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 6:11 PM
Not putting her on something could get her pregnant and stds...just my thought.


Quoting ColleenF30:

Please don't go throwing her on bc which is her free ticket to an infection. Condoms...they actually somewhat protect. Oh I got caught at 14 by the way. The more my parents tried to stop me the harder I pushed against.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
sophiesister2
by Gold Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 6:13 PM
They only recommend it for those who have had children...so idk wth your dr was thinking.


Quoting Anonymous:

I had mirena at 16 no child no issues




Quoting DEJavu17:

Mirena is only for women that have had children. And I would NEVER recommend mirena for a child.





Quoting Anonymous:

Depo should never be recommend for a young girl, maybe a iud would be better since mirena stays in for 5 years. . . Honesty Depo is really bad I recommends the talk and mirena :D








Quoting AubreeGrace17:

Time for a sex talk. Make sure she gets on a reliable form of birth control...like the depo. You can't expect her to remember to take the pill. 




Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
DEJavu17
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 6:15 PM
I call bullshit.

Mirena and paraguard are only for women that have had children.

Bo doctor would give a 16 year old girl a medical device with that much hormones. They can cause infertility. Whatever doc. You saw was a quack.


Quoting Anonymous:

I had mirena at 16 no child no issues




Quoting DEJavu17:

Mirena is only for women that have had children. And I would NEVER recommend mirena for a child.





Quoting Anonymous:

Depo should never be recommend for a young girl, maybe a iud would be better since mirena stays in for 5 years. . . Honesty Depo is really bad I recommends the talk and mirena :D








Quoting AubreeGrace17:

Time for a sex talk. Make sure she gets on a reliable form of birth control...like the depo. You can't expect her to remember to take the pill. 



Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
KeimUNCmomof3
by Gold Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 6:19 PM

Why would you allow a boy in the house, if you're not going to be home?  Did she sneak him in through the window or something?  13, yeah I would be crying too.  That's way too young to be sexually active.  She's a baby.  I would kill.  But, what can we say?  We don't know the full story, we don't know what you allow and what you don't.    People are quick to blame parents, but some teenagers think they're all grown up at a young age and think they can decide for themselves and be all independent, but it could also be the parents fault as well.  I don't know, I didn't start "messing" around until I was in College and I had sex at 23 with my husband, we weren't married at the time...but, I waited for the "one".  Sorry you're going through this mama.  You need to take her to the OBGYN and get her blood work done.  I would ground her for a long time. 

Lydlou02
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 6:21 PM
That was over 7 years ago. Now it's been approved for teens.

Quoting sophiesister2:

They only recommend it for those who have had children...so idk wth your dr was thinking.




Quoting Anonymous:

I had mirena at 16 no child no issues






Quoting DEJavu17:

Mirena is only for women that have had children. And I would NEVER recommend mirena for a child.







Quoting Anonymous:

Depo should never be recommend for a young girl, maybe a iud would be better since mirena stays in for 5 years. . . Honesty Depo is really bad I recommends the talk and mirena :D










Quoting AubreeGrace17:

Time for a sex talk. Make sure she gets on a reliable form of birth control...like the depo. You can't expect her to remember to take the pill. 




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