!!!!!!!!NEW UPDATE!!!!!!!!Just caught my 13 year old DD ..... EDIT info added!!
Having sex in her bedroom :(
** Long story short - Today is the Holiday Parade. At the last minute our 13 DD decided that she didn't want to go, said the parade is LAME. Okay I get it, to most 13 year old hanging out with your parents & younger siblings isn't necessarily cool - so we let her stay home. We leave for the parade & I realize that I forget the blankets so I make my way home (mind you we only have been gone about 20 mins) & the 1st thing I notice is DD isn't in the living room were we left her. She has music blasting from her room, so I went up the stairs just to let her know that I was there & I was leaving again. I opened the door & found her & a boy stark naked. Before I could grab the boy he swooped up his clothes and ran out of my house like a bat outta hell (still naked)!! I called the boys parents since I knew who he was. So now DD is in her room crying, I'm sitting at the computer crying & just waiting for DH & kids to return from parade. I told him there was an issue at the house & that I was going to stay home -- I told him to enjoy the parade & catch a ride home with his sister (I didn't want to tell him over the phone about the horror I just saw) I dont know what to do - Im numb - Im truly beside myself.
Wow I didn't realize this post would have this many responses. First I would like to say thank you to the many of you who offered support. For those of you who had negative comments (I get it - it's easy to judge & throw stones at a situation from the outside) you don't live in our shoes so your words have no effect on our lives.
Im glad I had time to calm down & process my feelings/emotions before DH came home. Although still hurt, confused, upset etc over the situation, I had more of a handle over it & I was going to need a level & calm head while telling DH. When they got home from the parade, I sent the younger kids over to my parents house (across the street) & asked DH to join me on sofa so we could talk. He looked worried, I couldn't keep it in any longer so I just told him. Honestly the worst part wasn't telling him - it was watching his face change from almost confused to anger to sadness as I told him. He actually cried & left to the garage to gather himself together (my hubby is a real tough kind of guy so to see him cry just broke my heart) I gave him a few moments alone - then I joined him in the garage. There we sat for about an hour discussing what our next steps would be with DD. After we were done I called DD downstairs so we could all talk. At first DH couldn't even look at her - she couldn't look at him either. After a few moments talking, she broke down crying and ran to her daddy's arms, apologizing for breaking our trust & making a mistake. He cried again, I cried - it was a big emotional mess.
Once we calmed down a bit - we sat her down and told her what the next steps would be. She will be going to the OBGYN this week, she will be tested for stds & will be put on bc (some of you have said don't put her on bc because it's basically telling her to go have sex - honestly IDC what your thoughts are - this is our family it's our decision) she will be getting the DEPO shot. Someone suggested having her research & write about STDS :: I thought this was a great idea and she will be doing this as well. We want her to know that having sex comes with great responsibility, a responsibility we feel she isn't prepared for. I asked her if this was her 1st time having sex - she said it was.... Do I WANT to believe her: YES Do I believe her: NO :(
The boys parents have been called and apologized for their sons part & have assured us they will be dealing with their son, not to worry.
On top of it all she is grounded - for a long time. She will also be volunteering at the children's hospital after school from now through the end of the holiday season.
Although our family has had a very hectic & emotional weekend - we are still a strong, solid, supportive, loving & forgiving family. We will always be here for our kiddies. No matter if their actions hurt, anger or disappointment us, we will never turn our backs on lovebugs.
Again thanks to all who offered encouraging and positive words - they were truly appreciated.
I hope all of you have a wonderful & blessed upcoming holiday season