Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I don't think I am being unreasonable, what do you think?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 70 Replies

 

Poll

Question: What do you think?

Options:

reasonable

unreasonable


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 117

View Results

I have 2 girls with my ex. He has them every other weekend from Friday after school till Monday morning, This means he has them a total of 78 nights a year, or 20% of the time with me having them the rest of the time. He was paying me about $190 a month for both girls (I make almost twice what he was making).

Recently, he lost his job and filed to amend the child support. I will now be paying him $471 for children that he has about 1/5 of the time while I have them the rest of the time. But whatever, I will deal with it.

However, he and his wife have a 3 bedroom home, she has 3 boys from a previous marriage who are with them about 1/3 of the time. While my girls are there, they sleep in the family room which I never really liked but I just figured it won't hurt them. But now that I am paying him child support, especially since it's that much, I feel my girls should have their own room there, they can have one room, her kids can have one room. So I requested while we were having the child support amended, that my girls have their own room (one room to share). The judge granted it. My my ex has a bug up his ass about it because his step sons now have to share 3 to a room. I think it is pretty reasonable for my girls to have their own room in a home that I am contributing about 1/4 of the income to (ex gets about $1000 a month in unemployment and his wife gets about $500 a month in child support.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:08 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:12 PM
3 moms liked this

He also tried to tell the judge that he couldn't do that because that would put 3 boys in one bedroom, the judge said "that's a lot better then 2 with no bedroom and that's what you have been doing for your own children"

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:16 PM
2 moms liked this
Reasonable... I also feel if he has them 20% you shouldn't be paying him. WTH is that? IDC if he lost his job... He's not with them 80% and he is not supporting them 80%. My opinion.


Quoting Anonymous:

He also tried to tell the judge that he couldn't do that because that would put 3 boys in one bedroom, the judge said "that's a lot better then 2 with no bedroom and that's what you have been doing for your own children"


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:17 PM

I agree, however the equation is based on both incomes and who has the kids when so in cases where the NCP makes almost no money, the CP sometimes ends up paying support.

Quoting Anonymous:

Reasonable... I also feel if he has them 20% you shouldn't be paying him. WTH is that? IDC if he lost his job... He's not with them 80% and he is not supporting them 80%. My opinion.


Quoting Anonymous:

He also tried to tell the judge that he couldn't do that because that would put 3 boys in one bedroom, the judge said "that's a lot better then 2 with no bedroom and that's what you have been doing for your own children"



wkukid
by Ocean Wave on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:18 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't think they should have been sleeping in a family room to begin with. If they didn't have space for the kids he shouldn't have took them.

Nothonnadoit
by Silver Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:19 PM

I agree w the previous comments.  No wonder he's your ex.

Princesitamoni
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:20 PM
Imo i think it's reasonable and you shouldn't be paying child support. It's like your paying for your kids 100%. And he's not supporting them anymore. I can't believe he'd make his OWN kids sleep on the couch so that his stepkids can have a room.
smurfbitebug
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:22 PM
Hey, if it's court ordered, it is what it is! While I am sure three boys to a room can get hectic, he could come up with creative ways to deal with it.
Seeing as he only has the girls every other weekend, he could totally get creative with it and make it so that the boys only share the room every other weekend and kind of make the room interchangeable between the girls and the boys. Just an idea. Which you don't need to tell him. He is an* adult.. he needs to stop complaining and figure it out.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
bowribbonmama
by Ruby Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:24 PM
I think it's insane that you were ordered to pay him CS. Does the judge REALLY think it costs $471 for him to have them 20% of the time?
And yes, they should have their own room.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:29 PM

Oh no, the idea is that the room is for the girl's use only. This way they can keep their own stuff there instead of having to bring everything back and forth. I also told him that he can use some of the child support to buy them some clothes to keep at his house (which he was really already supposed to have anyway)

Quoting smurfbitebug:

Hey, if it's court ordered, it is what it is! While I am sure three boys to a room can get hectic, he could come up with creative ways to deal with it.
Seeing as he only has the girls every other weekend, he could totally get creative with it and make it so that the boys only share the room every other weekend and kind of make the room interchangeable between the girls and the boys. Just an idea. Which you don't need to tell him. He is an* adult.. he needs to stop complaining and figure it out.


LamiavitaDivina
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:30 PM
I agree with you!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)