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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I don't think I am being unreasonable, what do you think?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

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Question: What do you think?

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reasonable

unreasonable


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Total Votes: 117

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I have 2 girls with my ex. He has them every other weekend from Friday after school till Monday morning, This means he has them a total of 78 nights a year, or 20% of the time with me having them the rest of the time. He was paying me about $190 a month for both girls (I make almost twice what he was making).

Recently, he lost his job and filed to amend the child support. I will now be paying him $471 for children that he has about 1/5 of the time while I have them the rest of the time. But whatever, I will deal with it.

However, he and his wife have a 3 bedroom home, she has 3 boys from a previous marriage who are with them about 1/3 of the time. While my girls are there, they sleep in the family room which I never really liked but I just figured it won't hurt them. But now that I am paying him child support, especially since it's that much, I feel my girls should have their own room there, they can have one room, her kids can have one room. So I requested while we were having the child support amended, that my girls have their own room (one room to share). The judge granted it. My my ex has a bug up his ass about it because his step sons now have to share 3 to a room. I think it is pretty reasonable for my girls to have their own room in a home that I am contributing about 1/4 of the income to (ex gets about $1000 a month in unemployment and his wife gets about $500 a month in child support.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:08 PM
Replies (11-20):
Grumpylilpixy
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:32 PM
2 moms liked this

It sounds like your ex and his wife need to go get jobs. LOL

smurfbitebug
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:32 PM
Oh yes, I know. But there are creative ways to do so and still have it be the boys room while they are not there. For instance, the girls could have the closet and the boys a standing armoire. The girls, pretty pink bunk beds (were there two or three? Plus a twin if three) for the boys, Murphy beds they put up when the girls are there. There are ways.

Quoting Anonymous:

Oh no, the idea is that the room is for the girl's use only. This way they can keep their own stuff there instead of having to bring everything back and forth. I also told him that he can use some of the child support to buy them some clothes to keep at his house (which he was really already supposed to have anyway)


Quoting smurfbitebug:

Hey, if it's court ordered, it is what it is! While I am sure three boys to a room can get hectic, he could come up with creative ways to deal with it.
Seeing as he only has the girls every other weekend, he could totally get creative with it and make it so that the boys only share the room every other weekend and kind of make the room interchangeable between the girls and the boys. Just an idea. Which you don't need to tell him. He is an* adult.. he needs to stop complaining and figure it out.


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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:36 PM

But then that wouldn't be "their room". I think that as his bio children AND as I am now paying so much support, it is reasonable to expect that they have their own room (not get to use one of the rooms but one of the rooms belonging to them)

Quoting smurfbitebug:

Oh yes, I know. But there are creative ways to do so and still have it be the boys room while they are not there. For instance, the girls could have the closet and the boys a standing armoire. The girls, pretty pink bunk beds (were there two or three? Plus a twin if three) for the boys, Murphy beds they put up when the girls are there. There are ways.

Quoting Anonymous:

Oh no, the idea is that the room is for the girl's use only. This way they can keep their own stuff there instead of having to bring everything back and forth. I also told him that he can use some of the child support to buy them some clothes to keep at his house (which he was really already supposed to have anyway)


Quoting smurfbitebug:

Hey, if it's court ordered, it is what it is! While I am sure three boys to a room can get hectic, he could come up with creative ways to deal with it.
Seeing as he only has the girls every other weekend, he could totally get creative with it and make it so that the boys only share the room every other weekend and kind of make the room interchangeable between the girls and the boys. Just an idea. Which you don't need to tell him. He is an* adult.. he needs to stop complaining and figure it out.



smurfbitebug
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:39 PM
Meh... maybe I just see it differently. I'm not saying you are being unreasonable but I see it as all the siblings sharing rooms in a different way so that one room doesn't stand empty 80% of the time. Which, IMO is wasted space in a household full of kids.

Quoting Anonymous:

But then that wouldn't be "their room". I think that as his bio children AND as I am now paying so much support, it is reasonable to expect that they have their own room (not get to use one of the rooms but one of the rooms belonging to them)


Quoting smurfbitebug:

Oh yes, I know. But there are creative ways to do so and still have it be the boys room while they are not there. For instance, the girls could have the closet and the boys a standing armoire. The girls, pretty pink bunk beds (were there two or three? Plus a twin if three) for the boys, Murphy beds they put up when the girls are there. There are ways.



Quoting Anonymous:

Oh no, the idea is that the room is for the girl's use only. This way they can keep their own stuff there instead of having to bring everything back and forth. I also told him that he can use some of the child support to buy them some clothes to keep at his house (which he was really already supposed to have anyway)



Quoting smurfbitebug:

Hey, if it's court ordered, it is what it is! While I am sure three boys to a room can get hectic, he could come up with creative ways to deal with it.
Seeing as he only has the girls every other weekend, he could totally get creative with it and make it so that the boys only share the room every other weekend and kind of make the room interchangeable between the girls and the boys. Just an idea. Which you don't need to tell him. He is an* adult.. he needs to stop complaining and figure it out.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:39 PM

In court, he tried to have the judge change it to the girls use one of the boys bedrooms while they were there and I said no way, if I am paying that much support, they should have their own room

heartnhidin
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:41 PM
I don't get why you are paying him. That is bizarre. I mean if it was 50/50 I could see or even every weekend. I agree they should have their own space.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:41 PM
1 mom liked this

My girls knowing that they have their own space at their dad's home is not a waste of space. Anyway, without the child support I am now going to have to pay, they wouldn't be able to afford the mortgage anyway

Quoting smurfbitebug:

Meh... maybe I just see it differently. I'm not saying you are being unreasonable but I see it as all the siblings sharing rooms in a different way so that one room doesn't stand empty 80% of the time. Which, IMO is wasted space in a household full of kids.

Quoting Anonymous:

But then that wouldn't be "their room". I think that as his bio children AND as I am now paying so much support, it is reasonable to expect that they have their own room (not get to use one of the rooms but one of the rooms belonging to them)


Quoting smurfbitebug:

Oh yes, I know. But there are creative ways to do so and still have it be the boys room while they are not there. For instance, the girls could have the closet and the boys a standing armoire. The girls, pretty pink bunk beds (were there two or three? Plus a twin if three) for the boys, Murphy beds they put up when the girls are there. There are ways.



Quoting Anonymous:

Oh no, the idea is that the room is for the girl's use only. This way they can keep their own stuff there instead of having to bring everything back and forth. I also told him that he can use some of the child support to buy them some clothes to keep at his house (which he was really already supposed to have anyway)



Quoting smurfbitebug:

Hey, if it's court ordered, it is what it is! While I am sure three boys to a room can get hectic, he could come up with creative ways to deal with it.
Seeing as he only has the girls every other weekend, he could totally get creative with it and make it so that the boys only share the room every other weekend and kind of make the room interchangeable between the girls and the boys. Just an idea. Which you don't need to tell him. He is an* adult.. he needs to stop complaining and figure it out.




Mcelly
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:44 PM
You are not being unreasonable at all.
stressedmama24
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:45 PM
I think u are being 100% completely and totally reasonable. AND VERY TOLERANT! :-D
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
stressedmama24
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:45 PM
1 mom liked this
I think u are being 100% completely and totally reasonable. AND VERY TOLERANT! :-D
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
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