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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I don't think I am being unreasonable, what do you think?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: What do you think?

Options:

reasonable

unreasonable


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Total Votes: 117

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I have 2 girls with my ex. He has them every other weekend from Friday after school till Monday morning, This means he has them a total of 78 nights a year, or 20% of the time with me having them the rest of the time. He was paying me about $190 a month for both girls (I make almost twice what he was making).

Recently, he lost his job and filed to amend the child support. I will now be paying him $471 for children that he has about 1/5 of the time while I have them the rest of the time. But whatever, I will deal with it.

However, he and his wife have a 3 bedroom home, she has 3 boys from a previous marriage who are with them about 1/3 of the time. While my girls are there, they sleep in the family room which I never really liked but I just figured it won't hurt them. But now that I am paying him child support, especially since it's that much, I feel my girls should have their own room there, they can have one room, her kids can have one room. So I requested while we were having the child support amended, that my girls have their own room (one room to share). The judge granted it. My my ex has a bug up his ass about it because his step sons now have to share 3 to a room. I think it is pretty reasonable for my girls to have their own room in a home that I am contributing about 1/4 of the income to (ex gets about $1000 a month in unemployment and his wife gets about $500 a month in child support.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:08 PM
Replies (21-30):
UgtaBkdnMe
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:47 PM

What a jerk, of course they should have a bed room. With beds even!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:48 PM

Thanks, I try. I really pisses me off that I have to pay but if I have to I have to. However, I did tell him that because I am now paying child support, he needs to have clothes for them at his house.

Quoting stressedmama24:

I think u are being 100% completely and totally reasonable. AND VERY TOLERANT! :-D


Tea4Tas
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:49 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

But then that wouldn't be "their room". I think that as his bio children AND as I am now paying so much support, it is reasonable to expect that they have their own room (not get to use one of the rooms but one of the rooms belonging to them)

Quoting smurfbitebug:

Oh yes, I know. But there are creative ways to do so and still have it be the boys room while they are not there. For instance, the girls could have the closet and the boys a standing armoire. The girls, pretty pink bunk beds (were there two or three? Plus a twin if three) for the boys, Murphy beds they put up when the girls are there. There are ways.

Quoting Anonymous:

Oh no, the idea is that the room is for the girl's use only. This way they can keep their own stuff there instead of having to bring everything back and forth. I also told him that he can use some of the child support to buy them some clothes to keep at his house (which he was really already supposed to have anyway)


Quoting smurfbitebug:

Hey, if it's court ordered, it is what it is! While I am sure three boys to a room can get hectic, he could come up with creative ways to deal with it.
Seeing as he only has the girls every other weekend, he could totally get creative with it and make it so that the boys only share the room every other weekend and kind of make the room interchangeable between the girls and the boys. Just an idea. Which you don't need to tell him. He is an* adult.. he needs to stop complaining and figure it out.



Until you said this I thought you were being reasonable. To insist the room remains empty for 26 days out of the month IS unreasonable. Yes the girls should have their own room to sleep inwhen they are there-yes they should have their own stuff in that room-but to insist it remain empty the other 26 days? unreasonable.

AF2011
by Ruby Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:49 PM
1 mom liked this

thats what I thought. I bet the OPs child support is gonna go to bills to pay for him, his wife, and her 3 kids.

Quoting Grumpylilpixy:

It sounds like your ex and his wife need to go get jobs. LOL


Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
gma12.1
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:50 PM

 I don't understand about you having to pay CS. I've never heard of that before. When my step dad lost his job his ex was making more than enough to support the kids and pay rent on a large 3 bedroom house he got his kids eow but when he went back to have the cs reduced it was never raised by the judge his lawyer or anything that she pay him anything.

Grumpylilpixy
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:52 PM

I have never  heard of such a thing to be honest. And I agree with you.

Quoting AF2011:

thats what I thought. I bet the OPs child support is gonna go to bills to pay for him, his wife, and her 3 kids.

Quoting Grumpylilpixy:

It sounds like your ex and his wife need to go get jobs. LOL



I am a friend, a wife,a daughter but the best title I have by far is Mother .













Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:52 PM

So then they wouldn't have their own room, they would be sleeping in one of their step brother's rooms. I pay almost as much child support for my 2 as the boys dad pays for his 3 and mine aren't there eating and running up the utilities as much so yeah, there is no reason why one of the bedrooms shouldn't be for them

Quoting Tea4Tas:


Quoting Anonymous:

But then that wouldn't be "their room". I think that as his bio children AND as I am now paying so much support, it is reasonable to expect that they have their own room (not get to use one of the rooms but one of the rooms belonging to them)

Quoting smurfbitebug:

Oh yes, I know. But there are creative ways to do so and still have it be the boys room while they are not there. For instance, the girls could have the closet and the boys a standing armoire. The girls, pretty pink bunk beds (were there two or three? Plus a twin if three) for the boys, Murphy beds they put up when the girls are there. There are ways.

Quoting Anonymous:

Oh no, the idea is that the room is for the girl's use only. This way they can keep their own stuff there instead of having to bring everything back and forth. I also told him that he can use some of the child support to buy them some clothes to keep at his house (which he was really already supposed to have anyway)


Quoting smurfbitebug:

Hey, if it's court ordered, it is what it is! While I am sure three boys to a room can get hectic, he could come up with creative ways to deal with it.
Seeing as he only has the girls every other weekend, he could totally get creative with it and make it so that the boys only share the room every other weekend and kind of make the room interchangeable between the girls and the boys. Just an idea. Which you don't need to tell him. He is an* adult.. he needs to stop complaining and figure it out.



Until you said this I thought you were being reasonable. To insist the room remains empty for 26 days out of the month IS unreasonable. Yes the girls should have their own room to sleep inwhen they are there-yes they should have their own stuff in that room-but to insist it remain empty the other 26 days? unreasonable.


bellaamore
by Gold Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:53 PM

Just because you pay something, doesnt mean you get a say in how things go in their home.

He paid you, no matter the amount, and you had them most of the time, correct? How would you feel if he made it to where he had say over something in your house ?

Your daughters dont live there, they are mostly with you, and if it doesnt hurt them, i dobt see why its your business. 

BShip2010
by Gold Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:53 PM

I think you are being completely reasonable.

Tea4Tas
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 5:56 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

So then they wouldn't have their own room, they would be sleeping in one of their step brother's rooms. I pay almost as much child support for my 2 as the boys dad pays for his 3 and mine aren't there eating and running up the utilities as much so yeah, there is no reason why one of the bedrooms shouldn't be for them

Quoting Tea4Tas:


Quoting Anonymous:

But then that wouldn't be "their room". I think that as his bio children AND as I am now paying so much support, it is reasonable to expect that they have their own room (not get to use one of the rooms but one of the rooms belonging to them)

Quoting smurfbitebug:

Oh yes, I know. But there are creative ways to do so and still have it be the boys room while they are not there. For instance, the girls could have the closet and the boys a standing armoire. The girls, pretty pink bunk beds (were there two or three? Plus a twin if three) for the boys, Murphy beds they put up when the girls are there. There are ways.

Quoting Anonymous:

Oh no, the idea is that the room is for the girl's use only. This way they can keep their own stuff there instead of having to bring everything back and forth. I also told him that he can use some of the child support to buy them some clothes to keep at his house (which he was really already supposed to have anyway)


Quoting smurfbitebug:

Hey, if it's court ordered, it is what it is! While I am sure three boys to a room can get hectic, he could come up with creative ways to deal with it.
Seeing as he only has the girls every other weekend, he could totally get creative with it and make it so that the boys only share the room every other weekend and kind of make the room interchangeable between the girls and the boys. Just an idea. Which you don't need to tell him. He is an* adult.. he needs to stop complaining and figure it out.



Until you said this I thought you were being reasonable. To insist the room remains empty for 26 days out of the month IS unreasonable. Yes the girls should have their own room to sleep inwhen they are there-yes they should have their own stuff in that room-but to insist it remain empty the other 26 days? unreasonable.


Yep you are being unreasonable. And frankly kind of mean. making them leave the room empty for 26 days every month. Shame on you-what are you teaching your daughters?  The one with the money can make the choices? How will this make their step siblings feel towards them?

It would piss me off, because it isn't reasonable.

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