I have two boys, age 19 and 12. The 19 year old has a few problems and developmentally he's like 9...the 12 year old is normal but has ADHD.
Lately they have both gotten into the habit of just barging in on me and coming into my bedroom and hanging out, arguing, bickering, and just getting into stuff in here.
I have told them time and again, this is MY private space, I don't want them in here. They do not NEED to be in here watching my tv since they have their own. They do not need to rummage around in my desk or mess with anything.
My family is kind of split down the middle. They think I should let the kids go wherever they feel like. I have other family members who disagree and say that they had areas of their home they were never allowed into when they were kids and they respected off limits space, and that they should respect me when I say I have a right to my privacy and want them to stay out of my room. It's not like I am doing anything they would be ashamed to see or anything but they have to learn when I say my room is my room and it's off limits, then they should respect it. Especially since they are both at an age where they should have learned this long ago. As a matter of fact they did use to respect my privacy and never come in unless they knocked or asked, but somewhere down the line (I cannot pinpoint when) they now just don't give a damn. I ask them to please leave my room and go somewhere else and do something else besides hang out in my room and they act all butt hurt. And YES I do spend plenty of one on one time with each of them too, so it's not like they're being neglected or anything. Most of the time they're in my room when I'm not even in here. One night I was asleep and woke up my 19 year old was sitting on the foot of my bed watching TV. (Again, he has his own plus the one in the living room to watch. Not sure why he was watching mine.)