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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Fed Up With Being Barged In On

Posted by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 8:32 PM
  • 10 Replies

I have two boys, age 19 and 12.  The 19 year old has a few problems and developmentally he's like 9...the 12 year old is normal but has ADHD.   

Lately they have both gotten into the habit of just barging in on me and coming into my bedroom and hanging out, arguing, bickering, and just getting into stuff in here. 

I have told them time and again, this is MY private space, I don't want them in here.  They do not NEED to be in here watching my tv since they have their own.  They do not need to rummage around in my desk or mess with anything.  

My family is kind of split down the middle. They think I should let the kids go wherever they feel like.  I have other family members who disagree and say that they had areas of their home they were never allowed into when they were kids and they respected off limits space, and that they should respect me when I say I have a right to my privacy and want them to stay out of my room.  It's not like I am doing anything they would be ashamed to see or anything but they have to learn when I say my room is my room and it's off limits, then they should respect it.  Especially since they are both at an age where they should have learned this long ago.  As a matter of fact they did use to respect my privacy and never come in unless they knocked or asked, but somewhere down the line (I cannot pinpoint when) they now just don't give a damn.  I ask them to please leave my room and go somewhere else and do something else besides hang out in my room and they act all butt hurt.  And YES I do spend plenty of one on one time with each of them too, so it's not like they're being neglected or anything.  Most of the time they're in my room when I'm not even in here.  One night I was asleep and woke up my 19 year old was sitting on the foot of my bed watching TV.  (Again, he has his own plus the one in the living room to watch. Not sure why he was watching mine.) 

by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 8:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Litlmama87
by Platinum Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 8:34 PM
My room is my space, my sanctuary.

My kids are allowed in when I say so.
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Pnukey
by Jenn on Nov. 17, 2012 at 8:34 PM

My parents' bedroom was always off limit. Of course, they also had a lock on their door, so when they said "Stay out!" we did.

yourmamahaha
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 8:35 PM
Aww, i remember i loved sitting in my.moms room all night just talking her ear off or watching tv. Just being around. Get a lock. Turn music up loud let them know just because ur around doesnt mean ur around lol
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AngryBob
by Platinum Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 8:36 PM
Put a lock on your door. Take their doors off their hinges.
Mine are babies right now, but when they get older, they will be taught that bedrooms (even mom and dad's!) are private.
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the4mutts
by Bronze Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 8:37 PM
You're completely right. While I don't BAN my kids from anywhere in the house, when my door is closed, they are NOT to come in. You're bein reasonable and they need to knock it off.
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702girly
by Gold Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 8:39 PM

I'd be pissed and I wouldn't tolerate that. My bedroom is not the living room.

kaysha
by Ruby Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 8:39 PM
Put a key lock on your door. Keep the key on you at all times.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Nov. 17, 2012 at 8:44 PM
1 mom liked this
My son knows my room is my room, and unless its the middle of the night and he has had a nightmare, he knocks before he comes in! ( he's seven) so far he's always been great about not entering my bedroom without asking or knocking ( again unless he's had a nightmare )


I've always been weird about my room, I have issues with people being in it without asking or being invited in! As a child my room was always messed with ( I had my own room and two brothers , plus a crazy ass mother who would steal from me, and my stepfather who enjoyed visiting me in the middle of the night! So most people know right away to stay out, )
JaydeesLaydee
by Silver Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 8:48 PM

I cannot take their doors off this is a rental house and the landlord would frown on that...and if I shut my door and I was in here, I'd freeze.  The only heater (a wood stove) is in the front living room.  My room is right over an open basement.  So it would shut the heat out if I did this.  My bedroom doubles as a home office also, so I have a desktop and router.  They can get online with their own devices.  

I just get tired of telling them, "please go to another room and do your hobbies, not in my room."  It's become like a broken record thing. 

JaydeesLaydee
by Silver Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 8:54 PM


That is me too. I am a bit ocd about things and can tell when something has been moved or messed with.  I used to come home from school and find my brother had torn books and things and that is part of it.  

I try to set an example and never go into my kids' rooms without knocking, and then I say, "got any laundry, dishes, etc." and they clean but I mop and they let me in to do that.  So if they can't follow example not sure what to do. 

A guy on my Facebook page suggested that they were abusing me. No this is not that extreme.  I just can't seem to get through to them lately that my personal space is my personal space.  

Quoting Anonymous:

My son knows my room is my room, and unless its the middle of the night and he has had a nightmare, he knocks before he comes in! ( he's seven) so far he's always been great about not entering my bedroom without asking or knocking ( again unless he's had a nightmare )


I've always been weird about my room, I have issues with people being in it without asking or being invited in! As a child my room was always messed with ( I had my own room and two brothers , plus a crazy ass mother who would steal from me, and my stepfather who enjoyed visiting me in the middle of the night! So most people know right away to stay out, )


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