I think I made a nice offer and he is being greedy to ask for more~~ I just thought of something

[Anonymous]

Me and my ex have a child together, he pays $750 and makes $3600 a month, this is according to the child support enforcement guidelines. We are both married to other people and have other children, I have 4 other children, he has 2 with one on the way.

He called me and told me that he might have a problem with paying his child support for a while because his wife lost her job. She used to be able to work primarily from home, now she can't and with 2 kids at home and one of the way, daycare would be really expensive so, for now at least, she will be staying at home.

I said that I didn't see how that would make a difference in child support because child support is based on what he makes, it has nothing to do with her income. Then he said that his hours will be getting cut at work as well so he will no longer be able to work overtime, well I pointed out that child support isn't based on him working overtime.

He said that he wanted to talk to me first because he was planning on talking to his attorney about getting a child support decreased but wanted to see if I would be willing to make an agreement on our own. I told him that since child support is based on what he is currently making, not overtime and not his wife's income, there is no reason that the judge would lower child support. I know some states will lower child support if the payer has more children but the state I live in does not.

I asked him what kind of break he was looking for and he said he wanted me to give him 6 months to a year off of the child support. I told him that I can't give him that much of a break but I can let him take $150 off per month for the next year and he doesn't have to pay me back until he stops paying child support when she graduated from high school. He told me that I that's not enough. I told him take it or leave it because that is what I can do. He said that am being heartless and that with him about to have 3 kids to support, he is trying to make something work. This pissed me off because apparently, his "way" to support them is to stop supporting our DD.

Added:

I just thought of something while I was typing. I told someone that child support is based on income and percentage of overnights, I had a feeling that I forgot something. I checked my order, child support is based on him having her 6 weeks a year, not 3 (he decided that he only wanted her 3 weeks a year) and yes, the change is in writing. So if he takes me back to court, he is going to owe me more money because he has her less time then the child support order says he does. Granted, it wouldn't be much, probably $45 a month but still, he would look like an ass.

[kiddycat73]

$6K a year is cheap...a lot cheaper than most daycares actually. My kids all go to private school. My girls' tuition is just under $6K, and my son's is just over $10K. If we ever fell on hard times, school would most certainly NOT be the first thing to go. Their education is more important than going out to eat or cable.

Quoting Anonymous:

$6K a year??? HOLY CRAP!! That's insane. 

And if he stopped paying, you would have to cut cable, not go out, but she would be going to a high priced school?? The school would be the first to go. 

Quoting Anonymous:

When she graduates from high school (that's when it stops) we won't have to pay her school tuition anymore, which at over $6000 a year is almost the whole child support anyway.

Quoting Anonymous:

i know that, I'm just saying what could you possibly spend that much money on monthly? what are you going to do when she turns 18 and you cant pay your bills anymore cause you dont get child support anymore?

Quoting Anonymous:

Child support is to support the child, that is how I use it, that is not using her as a paycheck

Quoting Anonymous:

i think you're both assholes. him for not being in his daughters life more, and you for thinking she is a paycheck. gtf over yourself woman. money isnt everything in this life. if you have be ome accustom to your child support as a way to live a certain lifestyle you suck. i keep $100 out of my child support for random crap, and the other goes directly into a savings acct. for him. i never have used that money to live on.

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

Oh and the other kids won't "suffer" because of her it will be because their mom lost her job, their dad lost his overtime and they had more children then they can afford

Quoting Anonymous:

OP IS A GREEDY SELFISH BITCH THAT NEEDS TO HAVE SOME COMPASSION, U MAKE WOMEN LOOK BAD I PRAY HE PAYS NOTHING FOR YOUR BASTARD CHILD, F**K YOU, YOU GREEDY BITCH! YOUR KID IS NOT THE ONLY ONE AND THE OTHERS SHOULDN'T SUFFER BECAUSE OF HER. I AM PRETTY SURE YOU DH GIVES HER WHAT SHE NEEDS AND WANTS UNLESS HE'S AN ASSHOLE. AND SHE IS WORKING? MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING THAT NOT WHAT SHE'S GONNA REMEMBER WHEN SHE GETS OLDER, IT'S THE LOVE AND EMOTIONAL SUPPORT.

[Mcelly]

Let him go to court, you will most likely get an increase. It's not your problem he decided to have kids he couldn't afford. It's also not your problem that his wife is not working.
He wanted to take a break from paying cs, wth? So his kid doesn't have expenses while he takes his financial break?

[inkedmommy1414]

skrew him. u were  being to nice lol

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

Yeah, if he takes me to court, not only will I not give him the reduction of $150 a month that I offered, he will have to pay whatever the increase is

Quoting Mcelly:

Let him go to court, you will most likely get an increase. It's not your problem he decided to have kids he couldn't afford. It's also not your problem that his wife is not working.
He wanted to take a break from paying cs, wth? So his kid doesn't have expenses while he takes his financial break?

[Anonymous]

He shouldn't have all those kids if he is going to struggle

[carterscutie85]

I think him wanting to not pay CS at all is ridiculous.

He needs to pay something, and I think your offer was reasonable.

[kngarber]

Pathetic. Btw I'm referring to you, not OP.

Quoting Anonymous:

OP IS A GREEDY SELFISH BITCH THAT NEEDS TO HAVE SOME COMPASSION, U MAKE WOMEN LOOK BAD I PRAY HE PAYS NOTHING FOR YOUR BASTARD CHILD, F**K YOU, YOU GREEDY BITCH! YOUR KID IS NOT THE ONLY ONE AND THE OTHERS SHOULDN'T SUFFER BECAUSE OF HER. I AM PRETTY SURE YOU DH GIVES HER WHAT SHE NEEDS AND WANTS UNLESS HE'S AN ASSHOLE. AND SHE IS WORKING? MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING THAT NOT WHAT SHE'S GONNA REMEMBER WHEN SHE GETS OLDER, IT'S THE LOVE AND EMOTIONAL SUPPORT.

[Mcelly]

It's shameful that he would even have the nerve to ask you that.
My husband has a kid who he pays a lot in CS. I just had triplets, I wouldn't dare ask him to lower his CS to his ex, even if we needed it.
He chose to have more kids. He can man up and figure out a way to support them all.

Quoting Anonymous:

Yeah, if he takes me to court, not only will I not give him the reduction of $150 a month that I offered, he will have to pay whatever the increase is

Quoting Mcelly:

Let him go to court, you will most likely get an increase. It's not your problem he decided to have kids he couldn't afford. It's also not your problem that his wife is not working.

He wanted to take a break from paying cs, wth? So his kid doesn't have expenses while he takes his financial break?

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

I really think this might be my ex's wife because she likes to call DD a bastard even though we were married when I got pregnant with her meanwhile, they didn't get married till after their first was born so technically, who is the bastard (not that I would ever call a child that anyway). She actually said almost exactly this same thing to me last night.

Quoting kngarber:

Pathetic. Btw I'm referring to you, not OP.

Quoting Anonymous:

OP IS A GREEDY SELFISH BITCH THAT NEEDS TO HAVE SOME COMPASSION, U MAKE WOMEN LOOK BAD I PRAY HE PAYS NOTHING FOR YOUR BASTARD CHILD, F**K YOU, YOU GREEDY BITCH! YOUR KID IS NOT THE ONLY ONE AND THE OTHERS SHOULDN'T SUFFER BECAUSE OF HER. I AM PRETTY SURE YOU DH GIVES HER WHAT SHE NEEDS AND WANTS UNLESS HE'S AN ASSHOLE. AND SHE IS WORKING? MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING THAT NOT WHAT SHE'S GONNA REMEMBER WHEN SHE GETS OLDER, IT'S THE LOVE AND EMOTIONAL SUPPORT.