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I think I made a nice offer and he is being greedy to ask for more~~ I just thought of something

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Me and my ex have a child together, he pays $750 and makes $3600 a month, this is according to the child support enforcement guidelines. We are both married to other people and have other children, I have 4 other children, he has 2 with one on the way.

He called me and told me that he might have a problem with paying his child support for a while because his wife lost her job. She used to be able to work primarily from home, now she can't and with 2 kids at home and one of the way, daycare would be really expensive so, for now at least, she will be staying at home.

I said that I didn't see how that would make a difference in child support because child support is based on what he makes, it has nothing to do with her income. Then he said that his hours will be getting cut at work as well so he will no longer be able to work overtime, well I pointed out that child support isn't based on him working overtime.

He said that he wanted to talk to me first because he was planning on talking to his attorney about getting a child support decreased but wanted to see if I would be willing to make an agreement on our own. I told him that since child support is based on what he is currently making, not overtime and not his wife's income, there is no reason that the judge would lower child support. I know some states will lower child support if the payer has more children but the state I live in does not.

I asked him what kind of break he was looking for and he said he wanted me to give him 6 months to a year off of the child support. I told him that I can't give him that much of a break but I can let him take $150 off per month for the next year and he doesn't have to pay me back until he stops paying child support when she graduated from high school. He told me that I that's not enough. I told him take it or leave it because that is what I can do. He said that am being heartless and that with him about to have 3 kids to support, he is trying to make something work. This pissed me off because apparently, his "way" to support them is to stop supporting our DD.

Added:

I just thought of something while I was typing. I told someone that child support is based on income and percentage of overnights, I had a feeling that I forgot something. I checked my order, child support is based on him having her 6 weeks a year, not 3 (he decided that he only wanted her 3 weeks a year) and yes, the change is in writing. So if he takes me back to court, he is going to owe me more money because he has her less time then the child support order says he does. Granted, it wouldn't be much, probably $45 a month but still, he would look like an ass.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 18, 2012 at 9:47 AM
Replies (321-330):
kngarber
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:47 AM
1 mom liked this
This is so nice to see in this post. I would pray if my ex marries that it would be to someone as level headed as you.

Quoting Mcelly:

It's shameful that he would even have the nerve to ask you that.

My husband has a kid who he pays a lot in CS. I just had triplets, I wouldn't dare ask him to lower his CS to his ex, even if we needed it.

He chose to have more kids. He can man up and figure out a way to support them all.




Quoting Anonymous:

Yeah, if he takes me to court, not only will I not give him the reduction of $150 a month that I offered, he will have to pay whatever the increase is



Quoting Mcelly:

Let him go to court, you will most likely get an increase. It's not your problem he decided to have kids he couldn't afford. It's also not your problem that his wife is not working.


He wanted to take a break from paying cs, wth? So his kid doesn't have expenses while he takes his financial break?



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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:48 AM

I'm glad you aren't one of those evil step mothers who feel that the DH's first kids should only be supported if it's convenient. Congrats on the triplets

Quoting Mcelly:

It's shameful that he would even have the nerve to ask you that.
My husband has a kid who he pays a lot in CS. I just had triplets, I wouldn't dare ask him to lower his CS to his ex, even if we needed it.
He chose to have more kids. He can man up and figure out a way to support them all.


Quoting Anonymous:

Yeah, if he takes me to court, not only will I not give him the reduction of $150 a month that I offered, he will have to pay whatever the increase is


Quoting Mcelly:

Let him go to court, you will most likely get an increase. It's not your problem he decided to have kids he couldn't afford. It's also not your problem that his wife is not working.

He wanted to take a break from paying cs, wth? So his kid doesn't have expenses while he takes his financial break?




Anonymous
by Anonymous 47 on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:49 AM

I honestly think you sound greedy. This is all about the money for you. Why do you need $750 a month for one child? Shit happens all the time with families that they can no longer afford to support their current lifestyle and have to make adjustments accordingly. Your daughter is no exception to this rule and  that is what I don't  get. Yeah, it might suck for you but he does have other children who will suffer. Just like if your  husband lost his job, your other children would suffer. Stuff like this breeds resentment, hatred and some nasty things said about one another. 

I don't think he should stop paying, but I do think you should be willing to cut the support in half or something better then 150 off for the time being - that is still plenty enough to support one child. 

kngarber
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:49 AM
1 mom liked this
It was my first thought as I read it before I even saw your response. Whether she is or isn't her she is a pathetic excuse for a human being that has no right to even be around children. It's sickening. :'(

Quoting Anonymous:

I really think this might be my ex's wife because she likes to call DD a bastard even though we were married when I got pregnant with her meanwhile, they didn't get married till after their first was born so technically, who is the bastard (not that I would ever call a child that anyway). She actually said almost exactly this same thing to me last night.


Quoting kngarber:

Pathetic. Btw I'm referring to you, not OP.



Quoting Anonymous:

OP IS A GREEDY SELFISH BITCH THAT NEEDS TO HAVE SOME COMPASSION, U MAKE WOMEN LOOK BAD I PRAY HE PAYS NOTHING FOR YOUR BASTARD CHILD, F**K YOU, YOU GREEDY BITCH! YOUR KID IS NOT THE ONLY ONE AND THE OTHERS SHOULDN'T SUFFER BECAUSE OF HER. I AM PRETTY SURE YOU DH GIVES HER WHAT SHE NEEDS AND WANTS UNLESS HE'S AN ASSHOLE. AND SHE IS WORKING? MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING THAT NOT WHAT SHE'S GONNA REMEMBER WHEN SHE GETS OLDER, IT'S THE LOVE AND EMOTIONAL SUPPORT.


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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:55 AM
2 moms liked this

I have already explained how I pay over $500 a month for tuition, I keep her on my health insurance and pay all the copays. Yes, in FAMILIES stuff happens, decisions are made that mean that their lifestyle has to change. Me and my ex are not a family, he made these decisions (having another baby, his wife staying at home) with her (as he should have since she is his wife). However, since I was not a part of  these decisions, I shouldn't be expected to make the cut backs needed to provide for them. If my DH lost his job, would you expect my ex to pay significantly MORE? Of course not.

Quoting Anonymous:

I honestly think you sound greedy. This is all about the money for you. Why do you need $750 a month for one child? Shit happens all the time with families that they can no longer afford to support their current lifestyle and have to make adjustments accordingly. Your daughter is no exception to this rule and  that is what I don't  get. Yeah, it might suck for you but he does have other children who will suffer. Just like if your  husband lost his job, your other children would suffer. Stuff like this breeds resentment, hatred and some nasty things said about one another. 

I don't think he should stop paying, but I do think you should be willing to cut the support in half or something better then 150 off for the time being - that is still plenty enough to support one child. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 47 on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:59 AM

If you cannot afford those things without the support, then you cannot afford them to begin with. Support is not a guarantee and if he doesn't have the money he doesn't have it. What then, put him in jail? He still won't have the money and you still wouldn't be able to afford those things.

He had a baby when he thought life was secure, just as I'm sure you did. Whether you like it or not,  she IS part of his family and can be affected by hardships in that family 

Quoting Anonymous:

I have already explained how I pay over $500 a month for tuition, I keep her on my health insurance and pay all the copays. Yes, in FAMILIES stuff happens, decisions are made that mean that their lifestyle has to change. Me and my ex are not a family, he made these decisions (having another baby, his wife staying at home) with her (as he should have since she is his wife). However, since I was not a part of  these decisions, I shouldn't be expected to make the cut backs needed to provide for them. If my DH lost his job, would you expect my ex to pay significantly MORE? Of course not.

Quoting Anonymous:

I honestly think you sound greedy. This is all about the money for you. Why do you need $750 a month for one child? Shit happens all the time with families that they can no longer afford to support their current lifestyle and have to make adjustments accordingly. Your daughter is no exception to this rule and  that is what I don't  get. Yeah, it might suck for you but he does have other children who will suffer. Just like if your  husband lost his job, your other children would suffer. Stuff like this breeds resentment, hatred and some nasty things said about one another. 

I don't think he should stop paying, but I do think you should be willing to cut the support in half or something better then 150 off for the time being - that is still plenty enough to support one child. 



Anonymous
by Anonymous 48 on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:04 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting brettsmomma:

Ya.. He is trying to support his new child by not supporting your daughter. He should have taken the deal. 

Completely agree. He is a fool to not take that deal. He is only going to make it worse for himself.  He is being selfish to ask about NOT paying at all for up to a year . 

Good Luck !

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:04 PM

We CAN afford these things without child support, we would just have to make cuts other places, cuts I am not willing to make so that my ex doesn't have to make cuts to provide for his decisions. Child support is a court order, we can't MAKE him pay but if he doesn't it will put him in an even worse situation, like yes, jail.

Quoting Anonymous:

If you cannot afford those things without the support, then you cannot afford them to begin with. Support is not a guarantee and if he doesn't have the money he doesn't have it. What then, put him in jail? He still won't have the money and you still wouldn't be able to afford those things.

He had a baby when he thought life was secure, just as I'm sure you did. Whether you like it or not,  she IS part of his family and can be affected by hardships in that family 

Quoting Anonymous:

I have already explained how I pay over $500 a month for tuition, I keep her on my health insurance and pay all the copays. Yes, in FAMILIES stuff happens, decisions are made that mean that their lifestyle has to change. Me and my ex are not a family, he made these decisions (having another baby, his wife staying at home) with her (as he should have since she is his wife). However, since I was not a part of  these decisions, I shouldn't be expected to make the cut backs needed to provide for them. If my DH lost his job, would you expect my ex to pay significantly MORE? Of course not.

Quoting Anonymous:

I honestly think you sound greedy. This is all about the money for you. Why do you need $750 a month for one child? Shit happens all the time with families that they can no longer afford to support their current lifestyle and have to make adjustments accordingly. Your daughter is no exception to this rule and  that is what I don't  get. Yeah, it might suck for you but he does have other children who will suffer. Just like if your  husband lost his job, your other children would suffer. Stuff like this breeds resentment, hatred and some nasty things said about one another. 

I don't think he should stop paying, but I do think you should be willing to cut the support in half or something better then 150 off for the time being - that is still plenty enough to support one child. 




faerie75
by Silver Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:09 PM
1 mom liked this

 AGREED and i was both a long time single mom and am a step mom now. i dont complain about what my step kids mom gets in child support, and i dont even like the bitch.

if a man earns over the average, his child support will be over the average.

Quoting kngarber:

 This is why I hate anon because I don't know who the hell I am even talking to anymore.  Anyway, to sit there and say oh poor dad poor dad and then basically screw the custodial parent they will just cry to get more money - which I assure you is NOT how it works.  It's an insensitive and stupid thing to say.  So, sorry if I mis quoted you big babies who are hiding behind anon.  Anyway, I work full time.  After insurace, transportation, rent, childcare, food, clothes, and everything else in between yeah it cost a bit more than the 10 cents you assholes seem to think it costs.  My CS doesn't even cover daycare not even close actually.  If you women who aren't step mothers ever separate from your husbands you will want financial help.  That child is owed that financial help.  To those of you who are step mothers being cry baby bithces about it maybe you should have used your head and not gotten in a situation where another child was involoved since most of you can't seem to see past your own selfish personal needs.  No one seems to give a shit about the CHILD. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Actually I did not make the first comment, but I do agree with her!

Not sure how those comments make me a bitch. Everyone here can pretty much agree, $750 for one child a month is outrageous and OP does not need that much to support her. Specially considering that's to HELP support her. So OP needs over $1,000 a month to support just one single child alone?!

Gimme a freakin break! SELFISH.

...and yeah this site alone full of sickening mothers who lose their job and go cry to the courthouse to get a raise in CS backs up the statement I did say.

Quoting kngarber:

 Says the woman who says


"I just have a heart for people that are poor and struggling being ripped off by people who dont need it"


and then:


"Oh PLEASE. if the custodial parent lost their job they would go get some PA and cry back to court to get the CS raised."


You're a bitch.


 

 

 

 

 
        
         

WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Nov. 19, 2012 at 12:10 PM

Sounds like he is living outside his means.  Not your problem.

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