Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I think I made a nice offer and he is being greedy to ask for more~~ I just thought of something

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Me and my ex have a child together, he pays $750 and makes $3600 a month, this is according to the child support enforcement guidelines. We are both married to other people and have other children, I have 4 other children, he has 2 with one on the way.

He called me and told me that he might have a problem with paying his child support for a while because his wife lost her job. She used to be able to work primarily from home, now she can't and with 2 kids at home and one of the way, daycare would be really expensive so, for now at least, she will be staying at home.

I said that I didn't see how that would make a difference in child support because child support is based on what he makes, it has nothing to do with her income. Then he said that his hours will be getting cut at work as well so he will no longer be able to work overtime, well I pointed out that child support isn't based on him working overtime.

He said that he wanted to talk to me first because he was planning on talking to his attorney about getting a child support decreased but wanted to see if I would be willing to make an agreement on our own. I told him that since child support is based on what he is currently making, not overtime and not his wife's income, there is no reason that the judge would lower child support. I know some states will lower child support if the payer has more children but the state I live in does not.

I asked him what kind of break he was looking for and he said he wanted me to give him 6 months to a year off of the child support. I told him that I can't give him that much of a break but I can let him take $150 off per month for the next year and he doesn't have to pay me back until he stops paying child support when she graduated from high school. He told me that I that's not enough. I told him take it or leave it because that is what I can do. He said that am being heartless and that with him about to have 3 kids to support, he is trying to make something work. This pissed me off because apparently, his "way" to support them is to stop supporting our DD.

Added:

I just thought of something while I was typing. I told someone that child support is based on income and percentage of overnights, I had a feeling that I forgot something. I checked my order, child support is based on him having her 6 weeks a year, not 3 (he decided that he only wanted her 3 weeks a year) and yes, the change is in writing. So if he takes me back to court, he is going to owe me more money because he has her less time then the child support order says he does. Granted, it wouldn't be much, probably $45 a month but still, he would look like an ass.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 18, 2012 at 9:47 AM
Replies (361-370):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 20, 2012 at 11:56 AM

But so do I, in fact I have MORE but wouldn't dream of asking him to pay more child support because I had more responsibilities because it was my choice to have more children. He is a grown man, he can worry about himself. This has nothing to do with forgiveness, if I wanted to just be a bitch, I wouldn't have offered the $150 break. I am not going to put him in jail. If he fails to pay, then CSE (child support enforcement) will go after him on their own.

Quoting Anonymous:

No because he has other responsibilities too You're so worried about you and yours you forget this is the father of your child. Your willing to put him in jail but have no thought of how that will affect your daughter all because you can't forgive him and want him to pay


Quoting Anonymous:

So by your logic, when he got married and his wife had a job, I should have been able to ask for an increase, right?


Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry but if you are remarried and have jobs 750 a month seems a ridiculous amout to pay for 1 daughter. Guidelines or not, you seem like you're just being vindictive.




Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2012 at 11:56 AM
uhhhhh when you posted your business on the internet where people can read and give you some feedback.


Quoting Anonymous:

Where did I ask for opinions?  And I'm not getting mad at all, just showing how your logic doesn't add up


Quoting Anonymous:

Why come on here ask what people think if you are going to get mad at people's opinon when u asked? I agree with that I think you bitter and slefish.






Quoting Anonymous:

Marital status or my DH's income does not effect child support. I'll bet if I was on here saying I needed more CS cause my DH lost his job y'all would be tell me that's my problem not my ex's.




Quoting Anonymous:

Totally agree!











Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry but if you are remarried and have jobs 750 a month seems a ridiculous amout to pay for 1 daughter. Guidelines or not, you seem like you're just being vindictive.










Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2012 at 11:58 AM
don't post your business on the Internet if you don't want responses to your post


Quoting Anonymous:

uhhhhh when you posted your business on the internet where people can read and give you some feedback.




Quoting Anonymous:

Where did I ask for opinions?  And I'm not getting mad at all, just showing how your logic doesn't add up



Quoting Anonymous:

Why come on here ask what people think if you are going to get mad at people's opinon when u asked? I agree with that I think you bitter and slefish.









Quoting Anonymous:

Marital status or my DH's income does not effect child support. I'll bet if I was on here saying I needed more CS cause my DH lost his job y'all would be tell me that's my problem not my ex's.





Quoting Anonymous:

Totally agree!














Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry but if you are remarried and have jobs 750 a month seems a ridiculous amout to pay for 1 daughter. Guidelines or not, you seem like you're just being vindictive.













Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:01 PM
if you don't report it they will not go after him f.y.i


Quoting Anonymous:

But so do I, in fact I have MORE but wouldn't dream of asking him to pay more child support because I had more responsibilities because it was my choice to have more children. He is a grown man, he can worry about himself. This has nothing to do with forgiveness, if I wanted to just be a bitch, I wouldn't have offered the $150 break. I am not going to put him in jail. If he fails to pay, then CSE (child support enforcement) will go after him on their own.


Quoting Anonymous:

No because he has other responsibilities too You're so worried about you and yours you forget this is the father of your child. Your willing to put him in jail but have no thought of how that will affect your daughter all because you can't forgive him and want him to pay





Quoting Anonymous:

So by your logic, when he got married and his wife had a job, I should have been able to ask for an increase, right?



Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry but if you are remarried and have jobs 750 a month seems a ridiculous amout to pay for 1 daughter. Guidelines or not, you seem like you're just being vindictive.






AtillaTheHun
by facta, non verba on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:03 PM
1 mom liked this

Let him take you back to court. He has to show that his income decreased significantly in order to get child support lowered. Since parenting time is calculated into the cs, the judge will more than likely look at him and shake his head, wondering if he is stupid. You are right, it does not matter how much his wife makes. It is not calculated into the amount cs is based on. It was their decision to have another child, as harsh as it sounds, but in this economy you never know if you will have a job tomorrow or not. The court does not care how he pays his bills, cs has priority over everything else. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:05 PM

That's fine but then if I don't agree with what you say, don't ask why I posted if I don't want opinions. I didn't ask for opinions on what I should do. This was more to vent and to see what other's thing and to see if there is a reasonable thought process behind what my ex is doing. So far, I haven't seen one

Quoting Anonymous:

uhhhhh when you posted your business on the internet where people can read and give you some feedback.


Quoting Anonymous:

Where did I ask for opinions?  And I'm not getting mad at all, just showing how your logic doesn't add up


Quoting Anonymous:

Why come on here ask what people think if you are going to get mad at people's opinon when u asked? I agree with that I think you bitter and slefish.






Quoting Anonymous:

Marital status or my DH's income does not effect child support. I'll bet if I was on here saying I needed more CS cause my DH lost his job y'all would be tell me that's my problem not my ex's.




Quoting Anonymous:

Totally agree!











Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry but if you are remarried and have jobs 750 a month seems a ridiculous amout to pay for 1 daughter. Guidelines or not, you seem like you're just being vindictive.











Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:07 PM

Yeah they will. He sends the money to them, then they send it to me so they know if he doesn't pay. Now, I can send in a letter saying that I am willing to reduce the amount for X amount of time and they won't go after him for not paying that amount but unless I authorize a reduction in payment, they will go after him if he gets behind without me even saying anything to them.

Quoting Anonymous:

if you don't report it they will not go after him f.y.i


Quoting Anonymous:

But so do I, in fact I have MORE but wouldn't dream of asking him to pay more child support because I had more responsibilities because it was my choice to have more children. He is a grown man, he can worry about himself. This has nothing to do with forgiveness, if I wanted to just be a bitch, I wouldn't have offered the $150 break. I am not going to put him in jail. If he fails to pay, then CSE (child support enforcement) will go after him on their own.


Quoting Anonymous:

No because he has other responsibilities too You're so worried about you and yours you forget this is the father of your child. Your willing to put him in jail but have no thought of how that will affect your daughter all because you can't forgive him and want him to pay





Quoting Anonymous:

So by your logic, when he got married and his wife had a job, I should have been able to ask for an increase, right?



Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry but if you are remarried and have jobs 750 a month seems a ridiculous amout to pay for 1 daughter. Guidelines or not, you seem like you're just being vindictive.







jessi2girls
by Ruby Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:08 PM

I'm curious how he pays that much though.. in our state.. one kid is 17%... which would be $612 a month.. (so long as the man doesn't plead poverty!  Then he only has to pay $25 a month!)

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:12 PM


Quoting jessi2girls:

I'm curious how he pays that much though.. in our state.. one kid is 17%... which would be $612 a month.. (so long as the man doesn't plead poverty!  Then he only has to pay $25 a month!)

It's based on income and the amount of time the NCP has the kid. Some states order $25%, it just depends on the state.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:16 PM
did you honestly believe that you weren't going to get responses on if you were right or wrong or what you should do or not do seriously? you didn't necessarily have to ask 4 opinions you put your business on the Internet and people are going to give you their opinion whether you like it or not because you posted your business where? Again on the INTERNET.

like I said b4 I don't think shouldn't pay at all for a year that's just taking advantage but you being a little bit more reasonable wouldn't hurt.


Quoting Anonymous:

That's fine but then if I don't agree with what you say, don't ask why I posted if I don't want opinions. I didn't ask for opinions on what I should do. This was more to vent and to see what other's thing and to see if there is a reasonable thought process behind what my ex is doing. So far, I haven't seen one


Quoting Anonymous:

uhhhhh when you posted your business on the internet where people can read and give you some feedback.





Quoting Anonymous:

Where did I ask for opinions?  And I'm not getting mad at all, just showing how your logic doesn't add up



Quoting Anonymous:

Why come on here ask what people think if you are going to get mad at people's opinon when u asked? I agree with that I think you bitter and slefish.









Quoting Anonymous:

Marital status or my DH's income does not effect child support. I'll bet if I was on here saying I needed more CS cause my DH lost his job y'all would be tell me that's my problem not my ex's.





Quoting Anonymous:

Totally agree!














Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry but if you are remarried and have jobs 750 a month seems a ridiculous amout to pay for 1 daughter. Guidelines or not, you seem like you're just being vindictive.















Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)