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I think I made a nice offer and he is being greedy to ask for more~~ I just thought of something

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Me and my ex have a child together, he pays $750 and makes $3600 a month, this is according to the child support enforcement guidelines. We are both married to other people and have other children, I have 4 other children, he has 2 with one on the way.

He called me and told me that he might have a problem with paying his child support for a while because his wife lost her job. She used to be able to work primarily from home, now she can't and with 2 kids at home and one of the way, daycare would be really expensive so, for now at least, she will be staying at home.

I said that I didn't see how that would make a difference in child support because child support is based on what he makes, it has nothing to do with her income. Then he said that his hours will be getting cut at work as well so he will no longer be able to work overtime, well I pointed out that child support isn't based on him working overtime.

He said that he wanted to talk to me first because he was planning on talking to his attorney about getting a child support decreased but wanted to see if I would be willing to make an agreement on our own. I told him that since child support is based on what he is currently making, not overtime and not his wife's income, there is no reason that the judge would lower child support. I know some states will lower child support if the payer has more children but the state I live in does not.

I asked him what kind of break he was looking for and he said he wanted me to give him 6 months to a year off of the child support. I told him that I can't give him that much of a break but I can let him take $150 off per month for the next year and he doesn't have to pay me back until he stops paying child support when she graduated from high school. He told me that I that's not enough. I told him take it or leave it because that is what I can do. He said that am being heartless and that with him about to have 3 kids to support, he is trying to make something work. This pissed me off because apparently, his "way" to support them is to stop supporting our DD.

Added:

I just thought of something while I was typing. I told someone that child support is based on income and percentage of overnights, I had a feeling that I forgot something. I checked my order, child support is based on him having her 6 weeks a year, not 3 (he decided that he only wanted her 3 weeks a year) and yes, the change is in writing. So if he takes me back to court, he is going to owe me more money because he has her less time then the child support order says he does. Granted, it wouldn't be much, probably $45 a month but still, he would look like an ass.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 18, 2012 at 9:47 AM
Replies (371-380):
mem82
by Platinum Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:19 PM

So, OP, have you heard back from the ex? Any update?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:19 PM

Ok, lots of people are saying "be more reasonable" what, in your opinion is more reseasonable? He is already paying less then he should because he has he half of the time he is ordered (his choice). Then I am offering him a decrease of $150 a month (which with his wife staying home, should more then cover the cost of the new baby).

Quoting Anonymous:

did you honestly believe that you weren't going to get responses on if you were right or wrong or what you should do or not do seriously? you didn't necessarily have to ask 4 opinions you put your business on the Internet and people are going to give you their opinion whether you like it or not because you posted your business where? Again on the INTERNET.

like I said b4 I don't think shouldn't pay at all for a year that's just taking advantage but you being a little bit more reasonable wouldn't hurt.


Quoting Anonymous:

That's fine but then if I don't agree with what you say, don't ask why I posted if I don't want opinions. I didn't ask for opinions on what I should do. This was more to vent and to see what other's thing and to see if there is a reasonable thought process behind what my ex is doing. So far, I haven't seen one


Quoting Anonymous:

uhhhhh when you posted your business on the internet where people can read and give you some feedback.





Quoting Anonymous:

Where did I ask for opinions?  And I'm not getting mad at all, just showing how your logic doesn't add up



Quoting Anonymous:

Why come on here ask what people think if you are going to get mad at people's opinon when u asked? I agree with that I think you bitter and slefish.









Quoting Anonymous:

Marital status or my DH's income does not effect child support. I'll bet if I was on here saying I needed more CS cause my DH lost his job y'all would be tell me that's my problem not my ex's.





Quoting Anonymous:

Totally agree!














Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry but if you are remarried and have jobs 750 a month seems a ridiculous amout to pay for 1 daughter. Guidelines or not, you seem like you're just being vindictive.
















Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:21 PM

He has called but hasn't really said anything new, just that $150 is not enough and that I am being a bitch for not letting him get away with paying nothing for a year.

Quoting mem82:

So, OP, have you heard back from the ex? Any update?


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:21 PM
Ok understand, different in NYC.


Quoting Anonymous:

Yeah they will. He sends the money to them, then they send it to me so they know if he doesn't pay. Now, I can send in a letter saying that I am willing to reduce the amount for X amount of time and they won't go after him for not paying that amount but unless I authorize a reduction in payment, they will go after him if he gets behind without me even saying anything to them.


Quoting Anonymous:

if you don't report it they will not go after him f.y.i





Quoting Anonymous:

But so do I, in fact I have MORE but wouldn't dream of asking him to pay more child support because I had more responsibilities because it was my choice to have more children. He is a grown man, he can worry about himself. This has nothing to do with forgiveness, if I wanted to just be a bitch, I wouldn't have offered the $150 break. I am not going to put him in jail. If he fails to pay, then CSE (child support enforcement) will go after him on their own.



Quoting Anonymous:

No because he has other responsibilities too You're so worried about you and yours you forget this is the father of your child. Your willing to put him in jail but have no thought of how that will affect your daughter all because you can't forgive him and want him to pay








Quoting Anonymous:

So by your logic, when he got married and his wife had a job, I should have been able to ask for an increase, right?




Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry but if you are remarried and have jobs 750 a month seems a ridiculous amout to pay for 1 daughter. Guidelines or not, you seem like you're just being vindictive.










Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:23 PM
I agree wholeheartedly!!!


Quoting Anonymous:

I highly doubt they planned on her losing her job while pregnant..



Lets hope you and your DH never become unemployed!



$750 is MORE than enough for ONE child. Your child has the luxuries she has, like private school, because your DH pays a ridiculous amount. Sure, its your state guidelines, doesn't make it reasonable.



You KNOW for a fact that you get a nice chunk of change from your ex.



How sad that he's forced to pay so high, that he will have to get a 2nd job and spend even less time with his fam to keep up and make up for the loss of job because our economy is so bad. How sad his new baby and children may miss out on some things because you can't have the heart of a PARENT to understand hard times happen and sometimes they need a break.



You do not need $750 to support ONE child a MONTH. You're a greedy bitch.



Quoting Anonymous:

I have answered this question several times but the fact is, unless he can prove that DD isn't being provided for, I do not have to prove what I spend the CS on. She is very well provided for, even going to a private school. It amazes me that he seriously thinks he should get out of supporting his DD because he can't keep it in his pants since he can't afford more children



Quoting Anonymous:

I think he deserves the break of $150 off per month without having to pay you back at all.





Women amaze me when it comes to this stuff.





What do you spend $750 on per month for your daughter?




Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:24 PM

As a stepmother, child support and the amount paid was ALWAYS taken into consideration when we discussed having another child.

Always.

We would never have considered having it lowered because we decided to have another child.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:28 PM

I never said they did plan on her becoming unemployed, I didn't either, but they are the ones who chose to have a baby and have her stay at home, not me, so they can find a way to support the baby.

Quoting Anonymous:

I agree wholeheartedly!!!


Quoting Anonymous:

I highly doubt they planned on her losing her job while pregnant..



Lets hope you and your DH never become unemployed!



$750 is MORE than enough for ONE child. Your child has the luxuries she has, like private school, because your DH pays a ridiculous amount. Sure, its your state guidelines, doesn't make it reasonable.



You KNOW for a fact that you get a nice chunk of change from your ex.



How sad that he's forced to pay so high, that he will have to get a 2nd job and spend even less time with his fam to keep up and make up for the loss of job because our economy is so bad. How sad his new baby and children may miss out on some things because you can't have the heart of a PARENT to understand hard times happen and sometimes they need a break.



You do not need $750 to support ONE child a MONTH. You're a greedy bitch.



Quoting Anonymous:

I have answered this question several times but the fact is, unless he can prove that DD isn't being provided for, I do not have to prove what I spend the CS on. She is very well provided for, even going to a private school. It amazes me that he seriously thinks he should get out of supporting his DD because he can't keep it in his pants since he can't afford more children



Quoting Anonymous:

I think he deserves the break of $150 off per month without having to pay you back at all.





Women amaze me when it comes to this stuff.





What do you spend $750 on per month for your daughter?





Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:29 PM

I applud you!!! I wish my ex and his wife were like that

Quoting Anonymous:

As a stepmother, child support and the amount paid was ALWAYS taken into consideration when we discussed having another child.

Always.

We would never have considered having it lowered because we decided to have another child.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:29 PM
I would lower it to $450 a month for ONLY six months. Then he would have to figure it out for himself, if that wasn't good enough for him I would tell him to go fuck himself and call him an ungrateful bastard. because that is being VERY VERY VERY generous. thats just the kind of person I am. One hand washes the other I wouldn't want if god forbid that was me and someone wasn't understanding, karma's a bitch.


Quoting Anonymous:

Ok, lots of people are saying "be more reasonable" what, in your opinion is more reseasonable? He is already paying less then he should because he has he half of the time he is ordered (his choice). Then I am offering him a decrease of $150 a month (which with his wife staying home, should more then cover the cost of the new baby).


Quoting Anonymous:

did you honestly believe that you weren't going to get responses on if you were right or wrong or what you should do or not do seriously? you didn't necessarily have to ask 4 opinions you put your business on the Internet and people are going to give you their opinion whether you like it or not because you posted your business where? Again on the INTERNET.



like I said b4 I don't think shouldn't pay at all for a year that's just taking advantage but you being a little bit more reasonable wouldn't hurt.





Quoting Anonymous:

That's fine but then if I don't agree with what you say, don't ask why I posted if I don't want opinions. I didn't ask for opinions on what I should do. This was more to vent and to see what other's thing and to see if there is a reasonable thought process behind what my ex is doing. So far, I haven't seen one



Quoting Anonymous:

uhhhhh when you posted your business on the internet where people can read and give you some feedback.








Quoting Anonymous:

Where did I ask for opinions?  And I'm not getting mad at all, just showing how your logic doesn't add up




Quoting Anonymous:

Why come on here ask what people think if you are going to get mad at people's opinon when u asked? I agree with that I think you bitter and slefish.












Quoting Anonymous:

Marital status or my DH's income does not effect child support. I'll bet if I was on here saying I needed more CS cause my DH lost his job y'all would be tell me that's my problem not my ex's.






Quoting Anonymous:

Totally agree!

















Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry but if you are remarried and have jobs 750 a month seems a ridiculous amout to pay for 1 daughter. Guidelines or not, you seem like you're just being vindictive.





















Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:32 PM

I am lowering it to $600 for a year so the amount of money that you are suggesting is the same, it's just spread out longer ( your are saying  a $300 a month break for 6 months, I am saying a $150 a month break for a year)

Quoting Anonymous:

I would lower it to $450 a month for ONLY six months. Then he would have to figure it out for himself, if that wasn't good enough for him I would tell him to go fuck himself and call him an ungrateful bastard. because that is being VERY VERY VERY generous. thats just the kind of person I am. One hand washes the other I wouldn't want if god forbid that was me and someone wasn't understanding, karma's a bitch.


Quoting Anonymous:

Ok, lots of people are saying "be more reasonable" what, in your opinion is more reseasonable? He is already paying less then he should because he has he half of the time he is ordered (his choice). Then I am offering him a decrease of $150 a month (which with his wife staying home, should more then cover the cost of the new baby).


Quoting Anonymous:

did you honestly believe that you weren't going to get responses on if you were right or wrong or what you should do or not do seriously? you didn't necessarily have to ask 4 opinions you put your business on the Internet and people are going to give you their opinion whether you like it or not because you posted your business where? Again on the INTERNET.



like I said b4 I don't think shouldn't pay at all for a year that's just taking advantage but you being a little bit more reasonable wouldn't hurt.





Quoting Anonymous:

That's fine but then if I don't agree with what you say, don't ask why I posted if I don't want opinions. I didn't ask for opinions on what I should do. This was more to vent and to see what other's thing and to see if there is a reasonable thought process behind what my ex is doing. So far, I haven't seen one



Quoting Anonymous:

uhhhhh when you posted your business on the internet where people can read and give you some feedback.








Quoting Anonymous:

Where did I ask for opinions?  And I'm not getting mad at all, just showing how your logic doesn't add up




Quoting Anonymous:

Why come on here ask what people think if you are going to get mad at people's opinon when u asked? I agree with that I think you bitter and slefish.












Quoting Anonymous:

Marital status or my DH's income does not effect child support. I'll bet if I was on here saying I needed more CS cause my DH lost his job y'all would be tell me that's my problem not my ex's.






Quoting Anonymous:

Totally agree!

















Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry but if you are remarried and have jobs 750 a month seems a ridiculous amout to pay for 1 daughter. Guidelines or not, you seem like you're just being vindictive.






















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