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I think I made a nice offer and he is being greedy to ask for more~~ I just thought of something

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Me and my ex have a child together, he pays $750 and makes $3600 a month, this is according to the child support enforcement guidelines. We are both married to other people and have other children, I have 4 other children, he has 2 with one on the way.

He called me and told me that he might have a problem with paying his child support for a while because his wife lost her job. She used to be able to work primarily from home, now she can't and with 2 kids at home and one of the way, daycare would be really expensive so, for now at least, she will be staying at home.

I said that I didn't see how that would make a difference in child support because child support is based on what he makes, it has nothing to do with her income. Then he said that his hours will be getting cut at work as well so he will no longer be able to work overtime, well I pointed out that child support isn't based on him working overtime.

He said that he wanted to talk to me first because he was planning on talking to his attorney about getting a child support decreased but wanted to see if I would be willing to make an agreement on our own. I told him that since child support is based on what he is currently making, not overtime and not his wife's income, there is no reason that the judge would lower child support. I know some states will lower child support if the payer has more children but the state I live in does not.

I asked him what kind of break he was looking for and he said he wanted me to give him 6 months to a year off of the child support. I told him that I can't give him that much of a break but I can let him take $150 off per month for the next year and he doesn't have to pay me back until he stops paying child support when she graduated from high school. He told me that I that's not enough. I told him take it or leave it because that is what I can do. He said that am being heartless and that with him about to have 3 kids to support, he is trying to make something work. This pissed me off because apparently, his "way" to support them is to stop supporting our DD.

Added:

I just thought of something while I was typing. I told someone that child support is based on income and percentage of overnights, I had a feeling that I forgot something. I checked my order, child support is based on him having her 6 weeks a year, not 3 (he decided that he only wanted her 3 weeks a year) and yes, the change is in writing. So if he takes me back to court, he is going to owe me more money because he has her less time then the child support order says he does. Granted, it wouldn't be much, probably $45 a month but still, he would look like an ass.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 18, 2012 at 9:47 AM
Replies (381-390):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 54 on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:33 PM

It was DH. That's part of the reason I respected him so much when we first started dating. He made it clear that he had a son, saw him often, and paid child support.

If I couldn't deal with that, then he wasn't dating me.

He would do the same for me if he and I were to divorce (which I sincerely hope never happens).

Quoting Anonymous:

I applud you!!! I wish my ex and his wife were like that

Quoting Anonymous:

As a stepmother, child support and the amount paid was ALWAYS taken into consideration when we discussed having another child.

Always.

We would never have considered having it lowered because we decided to have another child.

 

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 14 on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:37 PM
I see but I feel like six months is a good enough amount of time for him and his wife to get their shit together, expecially with that cut off for 6 months, if not then they seriously have problems.


Quoting Anonymous:

I am lowering it to $600 for a year so the amount of money that you are suggesting is the same, it's just spread out longer ( your are saying  a $300 a month break for 6 months, I am saying a $150 a month break for a year)


Quoting Anonymous:

I would lower it to $450 a month for ONLY six months. Then he would have to figure it out for himself, if that wasn't good enough for him I would tell him to go fuck himself and call him an ungrateful bastard. because that is being VERY VERY VERY generous. thats just the kind of person I am. One hand washes the other I wouldn't want if god forbid that was me and someone wasn't understanding, karma's a bitch.





Quoting Anonymous:

Ok, lots of people are saying "be more reasonable" what, in your opinion is more reseasonable? He is already paying less then he should because he has he half of the time he is ordered (his choice). Then I am offering him a decrease of $150 a month (which with his wife staying home, should more then cover the cost of the new baby).



Quoting Anonymous:

did you honestly believe that you weren't going to get responses on if you were right or wrong or what you should do or not do seriously? you didn't necessarily have to ask 4 opinions you put your business on the Internet and people are going to give you their opinion whether you like it or not because you posted your business where? Again on the INTERNET.





like I said b4 I don't think shouldn't pay at all for a year that's just taking advantage but you being a little bit more reasonable wouldn't hurt.








Quoting Anonymous:

That's fine but then if I don't agree with what you say, don't ask why I posted if I don't want opinions. I didn't ask for opinions on what I should do. This was more to vent and to see what other's thing and to see if there is a reasonable thought process behind what my ex is doing. So far, I haven't seen one




Quoting Anonymous:

uhhhhh when you posted your business on the internet where people can read and give you some feedback.











Quoting Anonymous:

Where did I ask for opinions?  And I'm not getting mad at all, just showing how your logic doesn't add up





Quoting Anonymous:

Why come on here ask what people think if you are going to get mad at people's opinon when u asked? I agree with that I think you bitter and slefish.















Quoting Anonymous:

Marital status or my DH's income does not effect child support. I'll bet if I was on here saying I needed more CS cause my DH lost his job y'all would be tell me that's my problem not my ex's.







Quoting Anonymous:

Totally agree!




















Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry but if you are remarried and have jobs 750 a month seems a ridiculous amout to pay for 1 daughter. Guidelines or not, you seem like you're just being vindictive.




























sugarcrisp
by Ruby Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:51 PM
1 mom liked this

Totally on your side. You're being incredibly generous.

Y'know... My brother's father was an idiot like this too. My mom told him $200/month and they'd stay out of court. He said no, so she took him to court. Now he has to pay almost $800/month.

Sometimes I think people are so desperate the ignore their responsibilities as best as possible that in the long run they royally fuck themselves over.

ninjakids
by Christina on Nov. 20, 2012 at 1:58 PM
I was thinking the same thing... even a reduction by half to 300 wont be deprieving the child...keeping it at 750+ is for his other child. So congrats your taking from 2/3 other mouths for your own childs mouth even though clearly shed still have more then the amount needed for her necessities.


Quoting Anonymous:

He only makes 3600 and has to pay $750?  He needs to go back to court for sure, esspecially since he's got another one of his on the way, they will see that he needs to split his money between more mouths.

I'm not trying to be mean, but the more kids he has the less $$$ you will get.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
faerie75
by Silver Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 2:35 PM

 they do in my state, its called a hardship. its not a lot though.

Quoting Anonymous:

Wrong. Her kids were there first and no court I've ever worked with takes subsequent children into account. Previous kids, yes, but nit those who come later. Also, any new partner's income is not taken as CS is not her responsibility. So if CS is based on $3600 a month and dad still makes that, he might not be able to get a reduction, because his new wife's loss of income doesn't matter for purposes of CS calculation.

Quoting Anonymous:

He only makes 3600 and has to pay $750?  He needs to go back to court for sure, esspecially since he's got another one of his on the way, they will see that he needs to split his money between more mouths.

I'm not trying to be mean, but the more kids he has the less $$$ you will get.

 

 
        
         

Anonymous
by Anonymous 55 on Nov. 20, 2012 at 2:45 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Lizard_Lina:

Lmao for all these women saying that much support is too much, child support is supposed to support the child in an environment that they would have if their parents were together. 20% isn't asking that much. What her husband makes is not a factor unless her ex wants to give up all custodial rights and make it her husbands legal responsibility. He is legally responsible for the kids he made with her. If something were to happen to op, her husband would not be responsible her ex would. It's all about legality. He can give up child support but he also has to give up his rights. If he doesn't want to do that then he needs to make sure his responsibility is taken care of, responsibility he had before he married his new wife. It's not like new wife didn't know he had a daughter with a $750 court order.

Exactly. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 55 on Nov. 20, 2012 at 2:47 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting faerie75:

 they do in my state, its called a hardship. its not a lot though.

Quoting Anonymous:

Wrong. Her kids were there first and no court I've ever worked with takes subsequent children into account. Previous kids, yes, but nit those who come later. Also, any new partner's income is not taken as CS is not her responsibility. So if CS is based on $3600 a month and dad still makes that, he might not be able to get a reduction, because his new wife's loss of income doesn't matter for purposes of CS calculation.

Quoting Anonymous:

He only makes 3600 and has to pay $750?  He needs to go back to court for sure, esspecially since he's got another one of his on the way, they will see that he needs to split his money between more mouths.

I'm not trying to be mean, but the more kids he has the less $$$ you will get.

 

Hardship! That's hilarious. He's horny ass keeps procreating a nd can't provide for the children he helped make. Stop breeding if you cant provide for your kids. Smdh

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 20, 2012 at 2:57 PM

Child support isn't just to cover basic necessities, it's to keep the child at as close as possible to the same standard of living they would have had had their parents stayed together. He is taking from his own kids by having more then he can afford. Also, if you want to talk percents, she is 1/4ths of his children (if you count the unborn child if not then she is 1/3 of his children) yet she gets about 1/5 of his income.

Quoting ninjakids:

I was thinking the same thing... even a reduction by half to 300 wont be deprieving the child...keeping it at 750+ is for his other child. So congrats your taking from 2/3 other mouths for your own childs mouth even though clearly shed still have more then the amount needed for her necessities.


Quoting Anonymous:

He only makes 3600 and has to pay $750?  He needs to go back to court for sure, esspecially since he's got another one of his on the way, they will see that he needs to split his money between more mouths.

I'm not trying to be mean, but the more kids he has the less $$$ you will get.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 20, 2012 at 3:00 PM

Some states do, some don't. Luckily, mine doesn't.

Quoting faerie75:

 they do in my state, its called a hardship. its not a lot though.

Quoting Anonymous:

Wrong. Her kids were there first and no court I've ever worked with takes subsequent children into account. Previous kids, yes, but nit those who come later. Also, any new partner's income is not taken as CS is not her responsibility. So if CS is based on $3600 a month and dad still makes that, he might not be able to get a reduction, because his new wife's loss of income doesn't matter for purposes of CS calculation.

Quoting Anonymous:

He only makes 3600 and has to pay $750?  He needs to go back to court for sure, esspecially since he's got another one of his on the way, they will see that he needs to split his money between more mouths.

I'm not trying to be mean, but the more kids he has the less $$$ you will get.

 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 20, 2012 at 3:02 PM

As it happens, we are not having any more children (me and DH, I can't speak for my ex and his wife) however, me and DH can afford the kids we have.

Quoting Anonymous:

Geez, he needs to get his nuts, snipped!!  Way too many kids...!!  And, y'all need to quit having so many damn kidz, that is just ridiculous....



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