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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Hidden Bank Account

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 7 Replies

Last monthI opened a checking and savings account with out telling my husband.  No I a not leaving him, and it is not really to hide the money.  I am doing it to get my college debt paid off.  I owe he University I went to 10 years ago $900. I can not finish my degree until they are paid off.  I thought they had been paid but back than I was married to my ex and any bills in my name never got paid.  He told me they did but not a single one did or if they did it was because he got final notices.  I had to travel a ton for work.  I thought while I was off making 5 times the money he was that he was holding down the house.  I know silly me. My credit got screwed and he wasted every dime I made on who knows what.

I can no longer model I just can't I am 10 years older and put on about 30 pounds and I really want to finish school. Money is really tight, but he finds the way to go out to eat fast food once or twice a week.  Yet we can't even start paying $20 -$50 a month towards getting me back in school.  It just seems to me like this marriage is going to much like the last in the finance department.  No matter how much I bring in I am not getting a say in how it is spent.  I still love my husband but I refuse to be financially crippled and dependent.  I went out and opened up the account. I am using it to pay or school and a credit card I just got mainly to fix my credit. I know it seems petty, but my husband is not seeing how important this is to me.  He is 15 years older than me and will not be around forever.  He has also had major healthissues already that ate all our savings up so I would be left with nothing.

I know people are going to think I am horrible for this, but I just had to get it out there.  Am I the only one to have a secret account?  I love my husband he is a great guy, but I just cannot remain financially handicapped the way I have been it is what ended my last marriage and I don't want that to happen this time.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:56 AM
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Replies (1-7):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:58 AM

 Yea I'd do the same thing. My husband is crappy with money. I'm thinking about doing it myself.

NoahandEliza
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 12:02 PM
No bashing here. We each have a separate account and one joint account just because we like it that way.
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Mrs.Kubalabuku
by Ruby Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 12:05 PM

1.  Does DH have a will?  If not, as tough as that is, he should get one done.
2.  It isn't petty.  I'd suggest financial counseling to help you two see eye to eye on this.  But, if you are making money, you have every right to a slice of the pie.  Even SAHM's have a right to some money, b/c it is a marital arrangement.  It isn't "I make X so I am more important."  It should be "We are a team, these are the circumstances, we should compromise here!" 

momo3fgr8tteens
by Ruby Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 12:05 PM

Don't see the problem with it. You aren't doing anything illegal. 

MJNMADDYSMOMMY
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 12:09 PM
Nothing wrong with that
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 18, 2012 at 12:09 PM


Quoting Mrs.Kubalabuku:

1.  Does DH have a will?  If not, as tough as that is, he should get one done.
2.  It isn't petty.  I'd suggest financial counseling to help you two see eye to eye on this.  But, if you are making money, you have every right to a slice of the pie.  Even SAHM's have a right to some money, b/c it is a marital arrangement.  It isn't "I make X so I am more important."  It should be "We are a team, these are the circumstances, we should compromise here!" 

No will honestly rightnow we have nothing the only thing either of us has is our kids.  Our family all knw the wishes on that and we have a notirized letter saying which family member they are to go to. My family does not want them any way.  His sister and mom would be the only ones willing to ake them in. Thankfully they are great people.

Beautiful31mom
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 12:28 PM

Not something I would do. but whatever floats your boat. 

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